Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 BARON VON GRUMP DID NOT answer his door right away. He hoped that if he ignored the knocking, whoever was at his door would go away. Knock, knock, knock. He knew exactly who was at his door. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. And he knew that she would not go away, no matter how much he hoped she would. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. But he tried anyway. It didn't work. "Oh, cousin," called a voice from below Baron Von Grump's window. "I know you're in there! I've come such a long way to see you, and it would be very nice if you would OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Baron Von Grump jumped out of his seat. Edgar flew straight up into the rafters and bumped his head. Baron Von Grump rushed down the stairs and threw the door open. There, standing on his NOT WELCOME mat was none other than his cousin, the very frightening, always scowling, super-stern— "Baroness Von Grumpier," said the baron, "how… nice… to see you." Baron Von Grump smiled at her as best he could. It was really the tiniest of smiles. No more than one twitch of one side of his lips. It was really the best he could do.

Baroness Von Grumpier did not smile back. That's rather rude, don't you think? Most people at least smile back when you smile, even if it's a little smile. Let's try it. Is there

anyone around you now? Try smiling at them. Tell them it's nice to see them. Did they smile back? They probably did. It's a nice thing to do. If they didn't, well… I'd keep your eye on them if I were you. "Take this suitcase," said Baroness Von Grumpier. She thrust a large piece of luggage into Baron Von Grump's hands. "And this one. And this satchel. This trunk. These bags. And this box." Baron Von Grump could not even see over the pile of bags and boxes and satchels and suitcases. Why, it was a wonder he could even fit through the door. But fit through the door he did, and Baroness Von Grumpier followed with empty hands. Almost empty. She held a large, warty, frowning toad in one hand. "Croak," said the toad. "I quite agree, Wilma," said Baroness Von Grumpier. "This place is even worse than it

appears from the outside. You live in quite the dump, cousin." Baron Von Grump gritted his teeth. He flared his nostrils. He tugged at his ears and pulled on his beard, but he did not say anything back. At least not anything that might make his cousin even crankier than she already was. He dared not do that. Baron Von Grump knew better. Baroness Von Grumpier was known among all the Von Grumps as being the crankiest Von Grump there was. Instead, he forced another smile, this one with a twitch of both corners of his lips. "Care for some tea?" he said. Baroness Von Grumpier's eyes narrowed, and her lip curled. "I hate tea," she said. "Milk?" "I'd rather drink pond water," she sneered.

Baron Von Grump twisted the ends of his mustache. He was not feeling well at all.