Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 BARON VON GRUMP DID NOT answer his door right away. He hoped that if he ignored the knocking, whoever was at his door would go away. Knock, knock, knock. He knew exactly who was at his door. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. And he knew that she would not go away, no matter how much he hoped she would. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. But he tried anyway. It didn't work. "Oh, cousin," called a voice from below Baron Von Grump's window. "I know you're in there! I've come such a long way to see you, and it would be very nice if you would OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

第二章冯·格朗普男爵没有马上应门。 他希望，如果他不理睬敲门声，站在他门前的人就会走开。 敲，敲，敲。他很清楚谁在他门口。 敲，敲，敲。他知道，不管他多么希望她走，她是不会走的。 敲，敲，敲。但他还是试了。 但没有成功。“哦，表哥。”一个声音从冯·格朗普男爵的窗户下面传来。 “我知道你在里面！”我千里迢迢来看你，如果你现在就把门打开，那就太好了！”

Baron Von Grump jumped out of his seat. Edgar flew straight up into the rafters and bumped his head. Baron Von Grump rushed down the stairs and threw the door open. There, standing on his NOT WELCOME mat was none other than his cousin, the very frightening, always scowling, super-stern— "Baroness Von Grumpier," said the baron, "how… nice… to see you." Baron Von Grump smiled at her as best he could. It was really the tiniest of smiles. No more than one twitch of one side of his lips. It was really the best he could do.

冯·格朗普男爵从座位上跳了起来。 埃德加径直飞到椽子上，撞到了头。 冯·格朗普男爵冲下楼梯，猛地把门打开。 站在他那张不受欢迎的地毯上的不是别人，正是他的表妹，那个非常可怕、总是皱着眉头、超级严厉的人——“冯·格鲁皮埃男爵夫人，”男爵说，“见到你真是……太高兴了……” 冯·格朗普男爵尽量朝她微笑。 那真的是最微小的微笑。 他的嘴唇只抽动了一下。 这真的是他能做到的最好的了。

Baroness Von Grumpier did not smile back. That's rather rude, don't you think? Most people at least smile back when you smile, even if it's a little smile. Let's try it. Is there

冯·格鲁皮埃男爵夫人没有回笑。 你不觉得这很粗鲁吗？ 大多数人至少会在你微笑的时候对你报以微笑，哪怕只是一点点的微笑。 让我们试一试。有

anyone around you now? Try smiling at them. Tell them it's nice to see them. Did they smile back? They probably did. It's a nice thing to do. If they didn't, well… I'd keep your eye on them if I were you. "Take this suitcase," said Baroness Von Grumpier. She thrust a large piece of luggage into Baron Von Grump's hands. "And this one. And this satchel. This trunk. These bags. And this box." Baron Von Grump could not even see over the pile of bags and boxes and satchels and suitcases. Why, it was a wonder he could even fit through the door. But fit through the door he did, and Baroness Von Grumpier followed with empty hands. Almost empty. She held a large, warty, frowning toad in one hand. "Croak," said the toad. "I quite agree, Wilma," said Baroness Von Grumpier. "This place is even worse than it

现在有人在你身边吗？试着对他们微笑。 告诉他们很高兴见到他们。 他们对你微笑了吗？他们可能是这么做的。 这是一件好事。如果他们没有，嗯，如果我是你，我会让你盯着他们。 “拿着这个箱子，”冯·格鲁皮埃男爵夫人说。 她把一大块行李塞到冯·格朗普男爵的手里。 “还有这个。还有这个书包。 这树干。这些包。还有这个盒子。” 冯·格朗普男爵甚至看不见那堆袋子、箱子、背包和手提箱。 他居然能钻进这扇门，真是个奇迹。 但他还是进了门，冯·格鲁皮埃男爵夫人两手空空地跟在后面。 几乎是空的。她一手抓着一只长满疣子、皱着眉头的大癞蛤蟆。 “呱呱，”癞蛤蟆说。“我完全同意，威尔玛，”冯·格鲁皮埃男爵夫人说。 “这个地方比它更糟

appears from the outside. You live in quite the dump, cousin." Baron Von Grump gritted his teeth. He flared his nostrils. He tugged at his ears and pulled on his beard, but he did not say anything back. At least not anything that might make his cousin even crankier than she already was. He dared not do that. Baron Von Grump knew better. Baroness Von Grumpier was known among all the Von Grumps as being the crankiest Von Grump there was. Instead, he forced another smile, this one with a twitch of both corners of his lips. "Care for some tea?" he said. Baroness Von Grumpier's eyes narrowed, and her lip curled. "I hate tea," she said. "Milk?" "I'd rather drink pond water," she sneered.

从外部出现。你住的地方真是个垃圾场，表弟。” 冯·格伦普男爵咬紧牙关。 他张开鼻孔。他拽了拽耳朵，捋了捋胡子，但没有回答。 至少不会让他的表妹比现在更暴躁。 他不敢那样做。冯·格朗普男爵知道得更清楚。 冯·格鲁普男爵夫人在所有的冯·格鲁普家族中被认为是最暴躁的冯·格鲁普。 相反，他勉强又笑了笑，这一次他的两个嘴角都抽搐了一下。 “要喝点茶吗？”他说。 冯·格鲁皮埃男爵夫人眯起眼睛，噘起嘴唇。 “我讨厌茶，”她说。“牛奶吗?”“我宁愿喝池塘里的水，”她冷笑道。

Baron Von Grump twisted the ends of his mustache. He was not feeling well at all.

冯·格朗普男爵捻了捻他的小胡子。 他一点也不舒服。