Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9 "OH, LISTEN TO THOSE VILLAGERS!" said Baroness Von Grumpier. "Look how they run this way and that way and that way and this way. Are they always so lively?" Baron Von Grump grimaced. "Unfortunately, yes," he said. "Who knew this drab place could be so exciting," said Baroness Von Grumpier. She clapped her hands together in joy. "Croak," said Wilma. "Yes, of course," said Baroness Von Grumpier. "You may lick all the cheese you would like." Baron Von Grump couldn't take any more. First his cousin had thrown away all his things, including his violin. Then,

because of her, the entire village had become even noisier than it already was. And now— now she was going to let that warty toad lick all the cheese? Who wants to eat cheese after anyone has licked it? Especially a warty toad! Let's try an experiment. Get yourself a little snack… maybe a piece of cheese, a cracker, or a cookie. Maybe a crisp apple slice or a piece of pepperoni. Now lick it. A lot. Give it a real wet, slobbery lick. Make sure someone sees you. Now offer them a

bite. You might say, Would you like a bite of my cracker? The one I just licked? How did they react? They probably did not want a bite, did they? And if they did, well, I'd keep an eye on them if I were you. They might be going around licking all the other food in your house. And that's just gross. Baron Von Grump stomped down the stairs. He threw open the door, stepped out of the windmill, and slammed the door behind him. "Caw?" asked Edgar, circling Baron Von Grump. "To the village," said Baron Von Grump. "To see what all this fuss is about." "Caw caw?" "And then what?" Baron Von Grump said, repeating Edgar's question. "We'll put a stop to it. No more noise, and no more entertainment for Baroness Von Grumpier.

If we make things less exciting, maybe she'll leave." "Caw!" said Edgar. "Yes," said Baron Von Grump, "and take her toad-licked cheese with her!" Allow me to interrupt the story for a minute. I thought this might be a good time to tell you that "toad-licked" became a very common saying in the village for things you didn't like. For example, you might say, "Mom, I don't want any toad-licked lima beans," or maybe "I don't root for that toad- licked team." Maybe even "I happen to prefer strawberry jelly over toad-licked grape jelly." But now back to the story. Baron Von Grump marched right down to the village, with Edgar flying beside him. When he reached the village, he froze. The giant trash heap ambled along, upending rubbish bins and trash carts right

into its mouth. "It can't be," said Baron Von Grump. But that is not what caught Baron Von Grump's attention. "Caw!" said Edgar.

Baron Von Grump could not believe his eyes. There, in the middle of the creature, was his violin.