Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7 The stink bomb's name was Nick McKelty. He was with his dad, who had a really unhappy look on his face. I couldn't blame him. I would have that same look, too, if I had to spend an entire day with Nick the Tick. Carlos was busy making a ham and cheese sandwich. "Do me a favor, Little Man," he said. "Go seat those people and give them a menu." Oh no. I was going to have to wait on Nick McKelty? I'd rather ski down Mount Everest naked. In a blizzard. "I see that Table Seven is empty," Carlos said. "Seat them there." Double oh no. Table Seven! Bad things happen there. That was definitely not my lucky table.

第七章臭弹的名字叫尼克·麦凯尔蒂。 他和他爸爸在一起，他爸爸一脸不高兴。 我不能怪他。如果让我和扁虱尼克呆上一整天，我也会有同样的表情。 卡洛斯正忙着做火腿奶酪三明治。 “帮我个忙，小家伙，”他说。 “去让那些人坐下，给他们一份菜单。” 哦,不。我还得伺候尼克·麦凯尔蒂吗？ 我宁愿光着身子滑下珠穆朗玛峰。 在暴风雪中。“我看到七号桌是空的，”卡洛斯说。 “让他们坐在那里。”两倍哦不。 表7 !不好的事情发生在那里。 那张桌子绝对不是我的幸运桌。

"How about if I finish the sandwich, and you show them to the table?" I suggested. "No can do," he said. "You can't use the knife. Mom's orders." I picked up two menus and walked as slowly as I could toward the front door. When McKelty saw me, he burst out laughing. "What a boring job, handing out menus," he whispered in my ear. "Thanks, Nick. It's nice to see you, too," I whispered back. "I thought you'd be spraying anti-stink stuff into bowling shoes." "Hello, Hank," Nick's father said. "I see you're helping your mom on Take Your Child to

“我吃完三明治，你把它们拿到桌子上怎么样？”我建议。 “没办法，”他说。“你不能用刀。 妈妈的命令。”我拿起两份菜单，尽可能慢地朝前门走去。 当麦凯尔蒂看到我时，他突然大笑起来。 “多无聊的工作啊，发菜单，”他在我耳边低语。 “谢谢你,尼克。我也很高兴见到你。”我小声回答。 “我还以为你会往保龄球鞋里喷防臭的东西呢。” “你好，汉克，”尼克的爸爸说。 “我看到你在帮你妈妈上《带孩子去》

Work Day. Nick and I were at the bowling alley having a fun day, too, until the automatic pinsetter broke. We thought we'd grab some lunch while they're fixing it." "Let me show you to your table," I said. "Really? You can do that?" Nick snorted. "Aren't you the one who always gets lost?" I didn't answer, just made my way over to Table Seven. I wanted to stick my foot out and trip the big creep, but I knew that wouldn't be right. "Is this the best table you have?" Nick asked. "It's too close to the door." On second thought, I should have tripped him.

工作一天。尼克和我在保龄球馆也玩得很开心，直到自动打瓶机坏了。 我们想趁他们修的时候吃点午饭。” “让我带你去你的桌子，”我说。 “真的吗?你能做到吗？”尼克哼了一声。 “你不就是那个总是迷路的人吗？”我没有回答，径直走向七号桌。 我想伸出我的脚去绊倒那个大怪物，但我知道那是不对的。 “这是你们最好的桌子吗？”尼克问。 “离门太近了。” 仔细想想，我应该把他绊倒的。

Mr. McKelty didn't look pleased with his son. "This table is just fine, Hank," he said to me. "I'm sure Nick would agree. Don't you, Nick?" "Fine, let's just order," Nick said, taking a seat. "What do you have that's any good?" "Everything on the menu," I answered. "But today we're making some pretty great triple- deckers." "Sounds fabulous," Mr. McKelty said. "We'll each take one. Why don't you surprise us with your best combinations." As I walked back to Carlos, I thought about what I'd like to make for Nick's special sandwich. I came up with onion, mustard, crushed shrimp shells, and day-old baloney piled high on stale bread. Oh, and don't let me forget the moldy cheese. I gave my suggestion to Carlos, but he just laughed. "What do you have against those people?" he said.

麦凯尔蒂先生似乎对儿子不太满意。 “这张桌子很好，汉克，”他对我说。 我相信尼克会同意的。 不是吗，尼克？”“好吧，我们点餐吧。”尼克说着坐了下来。 “你有什么好东西吗？”“菜单上的都有，”我回答。 “但是今天我们做了一些非常棒的三层车。” “听起来很棒，”麦凯尔蒂说。 “我们每人拿一个。你为什么不用你最好的组合让我们大吃一惊呢？” 当我走回卡洛斯身边时，我在想我想为尼克的特别三明治做些什么。 我拿出了洋葱、芥末、碎虾壳和堆放在不新鲜面包上的放了一天的熏肠。 哦，别让我忘了发霉的奶酪。 我把我的建议告诉了卡洛斯，但他只是笑了。 “你对那些人有什么不满？”他说。

"Mr. McKelty is really nice," I said. "But his son Nick is the class bully. And the person he likes to bully most is me." "I see where you're coming from," Carlos said. "But remember, we're the Crunchy Pickle. And we have a reputation to protect. You know our motto: Our sandwiches are almost too good to eat." "You're right," I said. "Besides, maybe one of our delicious sandwiches will put Nick in a better mood." "I like the way you're thinking, Little Man," Carlos said. "So what do you say we make your pal a nice pastrami, Swiss cheese, and coleslaw triple-decker. We'll make his dad a roast beef, cheddar cheese, and coleslaw. I have to go get some fresh rye bread. While I'm gone, you can get me that sliced pastrami over there on the wax paper."

“麦凯尔蒂先生真的很好，”我说。 “但他的儿子尼克是班级恶霸。 他最喜欢欺负的人就是我。” “我明白你的意思了，”卡洛斯说。 “但是记住，我们是脆黄瓜。 我们要保护自己的声誉。 你知道我们的座右铭：我们的三明治好得几乎不能吃。” “你说得对，”我说。“此外，也许我们的美味三明治会让尼克心情好一点。” “我喜欢你的思考方式，小家伙，”卡洛斯说。 “那么，我们给你的朋友做一份美味的熏牛肉、瑞士奶酪和凉拌卷心菜，怎么样？” 我们给他爸爸做烤牛肉，切达奶酪和卷心菜。 我得去买点新鲜的黑麦面包。 我不在的时候，你可以给我拿那边蜡纸上的熏牛肉片来。”

That seemed easy enough. The piled-up pastrami was just a few feet away, sitting on the counter waiting for me. The walk over to it was smooth sailing. Three, maybe four steps. Picking it up was no problem. I grabbed the wax paper from the bottom. I could feel the steamy warmth of the pastrami against the palm of my hand. I leaned over and took a big whiff. Man, did it smell delicious. That was the exact moment I realized that I can't smell and watch where I'm going at the same time. I didn't notice that there was a slice of tomato that had dropped onto the floor. My feet went sliding out from under me, and the pastrami left my hands, all on its own, and decided to land on the floor.

这似乎很容易。堆在一起的熏牛肉就在几英尺远的地方，放在柜台上等着我。 到那里去的路很顺利。 三步，或者四步。把它捡起来不成问题。 我从底部抓起蜡纸。 我能感觉到熏牛肉在我手掌上的热气。 我俯下身来，深深地吸了一口气。 天啊，闻起来真香。 就在那一刻，我意识到我不能一边闻一边看我要去的地方。 我没有注意到有一片西红柿掉到了地板上。 我的脚从我身下滑了出来，熏牛肉自己离开了我的手，落在了地板上。