Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 That night at dinner, I waited until dessert to bring up the topic. "Mom, stay calm," I said as she plopped down a bowl of purple goop in front of me. Whatever was in that bowl was pretending to be pudding, but it didn't fool me. I saw the little chunks of eggplant in there. "I have something to ask you. And here it is. Can I go to work with you tomorrow? It's Take Your Child to Work Day." "Hank, why did you wait so long to ask me?" "That's a good question, Mom. And I wish I had an answer. But your answer has to be yes." "Well, it's a very busy day tomorrow," my mom said. "But you haven't left me much choice. I guess you can come."

"Mom, how come Hank gets to go to work with you and I don't?" my little sister, Emily, demanded. As usual, Emily had her pet iguana, Katherine, draped around her neck. She was feeding her little bits of a disgusting brown banana, which Katherine was snapping up with her long pink tongue. "Are you in Ms. Flowers's class?" I asked Emily. "No," she answered. "Are you a second-grader?" "No." "Is tomorrow Take Your Child to Work Day in your class?" "No."

"Well then, Emily, you've answered your own question," I said. "Oh, by the way, your lizard is spitting up banana. You might want to change your sweater." "Come on, Katherine," Emily said. "Mommy's going to wipe off your chin." Emily stood up and headed toward her bedroom. "Maybe you haven't noticed," I called after her, "but your overgrown toad doesn't have a chin." "Hank," my mom said. "That's very hurtful. You know how close Emily and Katherine are." "I was just saying the truth," I said. "You know, Hank"—my dad cleared his throat like he was going to make a speech —"when you work in the deli tomorrow, you can't say everything that pops into your mind. You have to be pleasant to the customers. You can't be rude like you were to Emily and Katherine."

"No problem," I assured him. "I'm a people person. I'm never rude to humans. I save that for reptiles." "Let's talk about what some of your responsibilities will be tomorrow," my mom said. "Would you like to take the customers' orders?" That seemed exciting and fun, until I realized that I'd have to write down their orders. And that meant spelling. I'm pretty sure I know how to spell "milk." And I have a shot at spelling "bread" correctly. But

"pastrami".. no way, José! "I was thinking, Mom, that something involving cream cheese might be good. I can fill up all those metal pans with different kinds of cream cheese and make cool swirls on top. I could even make a happy face with olives." "This is a business, Hank, not an art project," my dad grumbled. "You know what," my mom said, "we don't have to talk about this anymore tonight." Boy, was I thankful for that. One of my dad's favorite dinnertime topics is what I did wrong during the day and how I can improve. "Since tomorrow is so busy," my mom said, "I'm just going to put Carlos in charge of you, Hank." She gave me a big smile. "Don't worry. I know he'll find lots of interesting work for you to do." That sounded great. I went to bed thinking about all the fun I'd have getting to act like a real grown-up. In my mind, I made a list of about a million fun things I could do in the deli.

All you have to do is turn the page to see a few of them.