Chapter 1

heres hank. Always watch out for the flying potato salad

CHAPTER 1 "Remember, everyone, tomorrow is Take Your Child to Work Day," Ms. Flowers said to us after recess. "Who's happy about that?" Before I even thought about it, my hand shot up in the air. "Would you like to tell us why, Hank?" she asked with that nice smile of hers. "I'm happy because it means that we won't have a spelling test," I answered. "Which is great for me because I'm having trouble with the word window. I can only remember the first three letters, which are W-I-N. Win." "That's a word that has nothing to do with you, Zipper Teeth," Nick McKelty snarled. "Because you are a total loser." "Nick!" Ms. Flowers said. "We don't insult one another in this class. Now, tell me what

your plans are for Friday." "My dad's taking me to work at his new bowling alley," McKelty said proudly. "Are they going to use your head to knock down the pins?" I asked. The class laughed. That felt good to me, but not to Ms. Flowers. "Hank, did you hear what I just said to Nick? We don't insult people in this class." "My brain knows that, but my tongue forgot," I explained. The class laughed out loud again. "Well, next time, have a talk with your tongue before you let it loose," she said. I have to admit, Ms. Flowers can be pretty funny herself. "Anyone else want to share what they're doing for Take Your Child to Work Day?" she asked. She was kind of looking at me when she asked that. Please don't call on me, I thought to myself. Call on anyone else but me. I don't have an

answer to that question. "Hank," Ms. Flowers asked, "what are your plans?" The truth was, I didn't have any yet. I had tried to make plans. Actually, what I made was half a plan. I had asked my dad if I could go with him to work. He said that would be weird, since he works at the dining-room table, which is only about twenty steps from my bedroom. I wouldn't even have to get out of my pajamas. So then I decided that I would ask my mom if I could go work at her deli, the Crunchy Pickle. But then, as always, my brain forgot to ask her the question. Ms. Flowers was still standing there, waiting for my answer. "My plans are a surprise," I said. What I didn't say was that they were going to be a surprise even to me! "Oh, surprises are such fun," she said. "I can't wait to hear all about it." You and me both, I thought.

As usual, my best friend Frankie Townsend jumped in to save me. "I'm going uptown with my dad to Columbia University," he said. "He's a professor there, and he's going to let me teach something to his class." "How wonderful," Ms. Flowers said. "What are you going to teach?" "I've decided to show them how to pull a bunny out of a hat, except I don't have a bunny, so I'm going to use a washcloth." Everyone laughed, me being the loudest. Frankie always cracks me up. "And I'm going to the hospital with my mom," my other best friend Ashley Wong chimed in. "She's going to operate on someone." "I hope she's a doctor," Katie Sperling said. "Otherwise it would be gross."

"Of course she's a doctor," Ashley said. "If I watched an operation, I would faint all over the place," Katie said. "I'm not going to watch," Ashley explained. "They don't let kids in the operating room. I'm going to hang out at the nurses' station and help them deliver lunch trays to the patients." As everyone shared their plans, my mind was racing to figure out what I could do. Why didn't I ask my mom if I could go with her for Take Your Child to Work Day in the first place? It was such an easy question, but it just slipped out of my mind. My mind doesn't always remember little things. Actually, it has a hard time remembering big things, too. I'm lucky I remember where I live. "I have a special day planned, too," Ms. Flowers said, leaning back against her desk