Chapter 3

Chapter three, Everyone but Emily and my dad gathered in the kitchen, which seemed to make Judith Ann very happy. I could tell she liked being the center of attention. I mean, why else would a person walk around wearing a puffy chef's hat? First, we had to watch Judith Ann unpack and wash her vegetables. That was about as exciting as watching your toenails grow. She had brought two suitcases. One was for her clothes, and the other was filled to the brim with vegetables. "You have to treat vegetables gently," she explained, "so they won't bruise." "Talking about bruises," I blurted out. "You should have seen the one I got last week when

we were playing dodgeball." "You mean when Nick McKelty nailed you in the knee with the ball?" Frankie asked. "Your whole kneecap turned totally purple," Ashley added. "Yeah." I laughed. "It looked like Judith Ann's eggplant was growing out of my leg." I reached out and grabbed her eggplant off the kitchen counter and held it to my knee. "See how purple and gross I am," I said, doing my best eggplant voice. I had never talked like an eggplant before, but I have to say, I did a pretty good job. I wondered what other

vegetables I could sound like. A carrot would have a looooong voice. And a cauliflower would have a b-b-b-bumpy voice. Frankie and Ashley burst out laughing. My mom didn't. In fact, she gave me that I don't approve look. "Hank, be respectful," she said. "Judith Ann is trying to win a competition, and we need to support her." Judith Ann took the eggplant from me, put it on our wooden chopping block, and began to cut it into little pieces. "Henry," she said, "you can help me by peeling the carrots."

"Sorry, Judith Ann," I said. "The only thing I know how to peel is a banana." She wasn't taking no for an answer. Instead, she took out a vegetable peeler and demonstrated how you scrape it along the carrot to take the skin off. "All professional cooks have an assistant," she said, handing me the peeler. "I'd like you to be mine." "Wait a minute! Since when did I become your assistant?" "Since just now," she said. I took the peeler and started scraping the carrot. Nothing was happening. "The peel of the carrot is not going anywhere," I said. "It must be glued on." "You're using the wrong side," Ashley whispered. "You have to use the sharp side." "I knew that," I said, which of course i didn't.

Judith Ann spent the next half hour chopping everything—carrots, mushrooms, celery, little chunks of toasted bread. Luckily, she stopped short of chopping up her socks. She was chopping so fast that if my mom hadn't stopped her, she would have chopped the kitchen table into little pieces. "Hey, guys," Frankie whispered to Ashley and me as Judith Ann started rolling her meatballs. "Who wants to come with me tomorrow to the hockey game? My dad's got tickets." "No, thanks," Ashley said. "I'm not a hockey fan. I can never even see that little puck." "Well, you can count me in," I said. "It sounds great." I couldn't stop smiling. That is, until I asked my dad if I could go. He had only one word for me. It was a short word. I'll give you a hint. It starts with an N and ends with an O.

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