Chapter 1

heres hank. You can't drink a meatball through a straw

这是汉克。你不能用吸管喝肉丸

chapter 1 "Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "The pizza's here!" "How do you know?" my best friend Frankie Townsend asked. "I didn't hear the doorbell ring." "My nose knows," I told him. "I can sniff out pepperoni a mile away." It was Friday pizza night. Frankie and my other best friend, Ashley Wong, and I were sitting in my living room playing this card game we made up called Florida Coconuts. I'd explain the rules to you, but they don't make any sense, even to us. It involves dropping a deck of cards on the loser's head, instead of a real coconut, which would leave a lump.

第一章“噢，孩子！哦,男孩!哦男孩!”我扯着嗓子大喊。 “披萨来了！”“你怎么知道的？”我最好的朋友弗兰基·汤森问。 “我没听到门铃响。” “我的鼻子知道，”我告诉他。 “我一英里外就能闻到意大利辣香肠的味道。” 那是周五的披萨之夜。 弗兰基和我的另一个好朋友阿什莉·王，还有我坐在客厅里玩我们编的一种叫佛罗里达椰子的纸牌游戏。 我想跟你解释一下规则，但根本说不通，连我们都不懂。 它包括把一副纸牌扔到失败者的头上，而不是一个真正的椰子，因为椰子会留下一个肿块。

I got up and ran to the front door. Our dog, Cheerio, followed me. He can sniff out pepperoni a mile away, too. I taught him that. My mom was there balancing a huge pizza box in her hands. My younger sister, Emily, was next to her, holding a paper bag that smelled like Italian salad and garlic rolls. Standing next to her was a tall girl wearing a white chef's hat. "Mom, I've never been so glad to see you in my whole life!" I said. "Emily, I'm not that happy to see you. And you with the crazy hat, I have no idea who you are."

我起身跑到前门。 我们的狗，Cheerio，跟着我。 他在一英里外也能嗅出意大利辣香肠的味道。 这是我教他的。我妈妈在那里，手里拿着一个巨大的披萨盒。 我的妹妹艾米丽（Emily）坐在她旁边，手里拿着一个纸袋，闻起来像意大利沙拉和大蒜卷。 站在她旁边的是一个戴着白色厨师帽的高个子女孩。 “妈妈，我这辈子从来没有这么高兴见到您！”我说。 "艾米丽，我不太高兴见到你。 而你戴着一顶疯狂的帽子，我不知道你是谁。”

"Hank," my mom said, coming into our apartment. "This is your cousin Judith Ann. Remember, I told you she was coming in from Chicago to spend the weekend with us. We're hosting her while her parents are away at a business conference." "Whoops," I answered. "That must have slipped right through my brain and out my left ear. Or maybe it was my right ear. But who cares when there's pizza involved?" I reached out and took the box from my mom's hands and headed for the dining-room table. My dad brought plates and a big roll of paper towels from the kitchen. It was going to be our usual Friday pizza feast and movie night. "Dig in, Judith Ann," I called to her. "Take off your crazy hat and grab a slice while it's hot." Judith Ann walked over to the dining-room table and stared at our pizza. "No thanks," she said. "I don't eat that type of pizza."

“汉克，”我妈妈走进我们的公寓说。 “这是你的表妹朱迪思·安。 记得吗，我告诉过你她要从芝加哥过来和我们一起过周末。 她父母外出参加商务会议时，我们要招待她。” “哎呀，”我回答。“那一定是从我的脑子里溜出来的，从我的左耳里溜了出去。 也可能是我的右耳。 但只要有披萨，谁在乎呢？”我伸手从妈妈手中接过盒子，朝餐桌走去。 爸爸从厨房拿来盘子和一大卷纸巾。 这将是我们平常的周五披萨盛宴和电影之夜。 “吃吧，朱迪思·安。”我对她喊道。 “摘下你那疯狂的帽子，趁热吃一片。” 朱迪思·安走到餐桌前，盯着我们的披萨。 “不，谢谢，”她说。“我不吃那种披萨。”

"Oh," my dad said. "Are you allergic to wheat?" "No," Judith Ann said. "But I only like pizza I make myself, with goat cheese and artichokes." "Judith Ann is quite an excellent cook," my mom explained. "In fact, in case you have forgotten," she said, looking straight at me, "the reason she's spending the weekend with us is that she's competing in the Junior Chef Cook- Off." "Oh, that explains the crazy hat," I said. "But I've got to tell you, Judy, you're missing out on one delicious pizza here. We ordered triple cheese with pepperoni." "No one calls me Judy," she said without cracking a smile. "My full name is Judith Ann.

“哦，”爸爸说。“你对小麦过敏吗？”“不，”朱迪思·安说。 “但我只喜欢自己做的披萨，里面有山羊奶酪和洋蓟。” “朱蒂丝·安是个很棒的厨师，”我妈妈解释说。 “事实上，如果你忘了，”她直视着我说，“她和我们一起过周末的原因是她要参加初级厨师大赛。” “哦，这就解释了那顶疯狂的帽子，”我说。 “但是我得告诉你，朱迪，你在这里错过了一个美味的披萨。 我们点了三层芝士加意大利辣香肠。” “没人叫我朱迪，”她说，脸上没有一丝笑容。 “我的全名是朱迪思·安。

Just like your full name is Henry—which is what I'm going to call you." "You can do that," I said with my mouth full. "But I won't answer." Ashley and Frankie burst out laughing, shooting some pretty powerful garlic breath into the air. "He's been 'Hank' since we were in preschool," Frankie told her. "He's definitely not a 'Henry' type," Ashley added. "Henrys have gray hair and are math teachers." "Yeah." I laughed. "I can't even subtract, so you better stick with Hank. Tell me, Judy... I mean Judith... I mean Judith Ann. What's your favorite thing to cook, aside from weird pizza?" "Well, for the Junior Chef Cook-Off this weekend, I'll be preparing my special vegetarian meatballs." "Wait a minute." I stopped eating and scratched my head. "What makes it a meatball

就像你的全名是亨利一样——我也要这样称呼你。” “你能做到的。”我嘴里塞满了东西。 “但我不会回答。”艾希礼和弗兰基突然大笑起来，向空中喷了几口气蒜味十足的气。 “从我们上幼儿园开始，他就一直叫‘汉克’，”弗兰基告诉她。 阿什利补充说：“他绝对不是‘亨利’那种人。” “亨利有白发，是数学老师。” “是的。”我笑了。“我连减法都不会，所以你还是用汉克吧。” 告诉我，朱迪……我是说朱迪丝… 我是说朱迪思·安。除了奇怪的披萨，你最喜欢做什么？”“嗯，为了这个周末的初级厨师烹饪大赛，我要准备我的特制素食肉丸。” “等一下。”我停止吃东西，挠了挠头。 是什么让它成为肉丸