Chapter 1

Here's hank. There's a zombie in my bathtub

这是汉克。我的浴缸里有个僵尸

CHAPTER 1 The most fun way to spend the night before Halloween is to watch a scary movie with your best friend, sharing a bowl of popcorn. This is something Frankie Townsend and I have been doing ever since I can remember. We turn out the lights in my living room and put The Eight- Legged Creature from the Deep on the TV. Then we make scary underwater sounds. Frankie pretends to be a giant vampire squid. I'm really good at holding my nose and groaning. I don't think any underwater creature actually makes that noise, but I like to do it, anyway, because it drives my sister, Emily, crazy. "Hey, Zip," Frankie said to me as we sat in

万圣节前夜最有趣的方式就是和你最好的朋友一起看恐怖电影，分享一碗爆米花。 这是我和弗兰基·汤森从我记事起就一直在做的事。 我们把客厅的灯关掉，把电视上的《深海八条腿的生物》放上。 然后我们发出可怕的水下声音。 弗兰基假装成一只巨大的吸血乌贼。 我真的很擅长捂着鼻子呻吟。 我不认为任何水下生物会发出那种声音，但我还是喜欢这样做，因为这让我妹妹艾米丽抓狂。 “嘿，齐普，”我们坐下的时候，弗兰基对我说

the kitchen eating frozen oatmeal raisin cookies. Call me weird, but I like my cookies frozen. It was Friday night, and the next day was Halloween. "Do you think we should invite Ashley to watch the movie with us?" "Sure," I said. "After all, she's our new best friend. Unless you think the movie would be too scary for her?" "Let's ask her," Frankie said. I picked up the phone and dialed Ashley's number. "Big Joe's Hot Dogs," said a man's voice. "Where every bite is right." Oops. I guess I didn't dial Ashley's number. "Excuse me," I said into the phone. "I was trying to call Ashley Wong." "No one here by that name," Big Joe answered. "But if you find her, come on in for our Halloween special. I call it the Hal-O- Wiener." I could still hear him laughing as I hung up. Without saying a word, Frankie took the phone and dialed Ashley. He knows I'm not the best

厨房里吃着冷冻燕麦葡萄干饼干。 你可以说我古怪，但我喜欢吃冷冻饼干。 那是星期五的晚上，第二天是万圣节。 “你觉得我们应该邀请艾希礼和我们一起看电影吗？”“当然，”我说。 “毕竟，她是我们最好的新朋友。 除非你觉得这部电影对她来说太恐怖了？”“我们问问她吧，”弗兰基说。 我拿起电话，拨了阿什利的号码。 “大乔热狗店，”一个男人的声音说。 “每一口都是对的。” 哦。我想我没拨艾希礼的号码。 “对不起，”我对着电话说。 “我想给阿什利·王打电话。” “这里没人叫这个名字。”大乔回答。 “但如果你找到了她，就来参加我们的万圣节特辑。 我把它叫做半圆香肠。” 挂电话时，我还能听到他的笑声。 弗兰基二话没说，拿起电话拨通了艾希礼的电话。 他知道我不是最好的

dialer in the world. I think I've memorized a number, but when I try to dial it, all the numbers get jumbled up in my brain. I talk to a lot of nice people that way, though. When we asked her over for the movie, Ashley said she'd love to come. She wasn't scared a bit. She just had to finish gluing the last fake diamonds on her giraffe costume, and she'd be right up. If you're wondering why a giraffe is wearing a diamond necklace, you'll have to ask Ashley. Hey, if it works for her, it works for me. We had just hung up the phone when my sister, Emily, came stomping into the kitchen. She had green cardboard patches hanging all over her body.

拨号器在世界上。我想我记住了一个号码，但是当我试着拨号的时候，所有的号码都在我的脑海里混乱了。 不过我跟很多好人都是这样说话的。 当我们请她去看电影时，阿什利说她很愿意去。 她一点也不害怕。她只要把最后一颗假钻石粘在长颈鹿服装上，马上就来。 如果你想知道为什么长颈鹿戴着钻石项链，你得去问阿什利。 如果对她有用，对我也有用。 我们刚挂上电话，我妹妹艾米丽就大步走进厨房。 她全身挂满了绿色的硬纸板。

"I give up!" She seemed ready to burst out crying. "My bony plate is coming loose again." The kitchen door swung open, and my mom came running in after her. She was carrying a glue gun. "Come here, Emily," she said. "I can fix your costume if you give me a minute." "What are you supposed to be?" I asked Emily. "Can't you tell? I am a Komodo dragon, which, in case you don't know, lives only in Indonesia."

“我放弃！”她似乎快要哭出来了。 “我的骨头又松了。” 厨房的门开了，妈妈跟在她后面跑了进来。 她拿着一把胶枪。 “过来，爱米丽，”她说。 “如果你给我一点时间，我可以帮你修一下服装。” “你应该是什么？”我问艾米丽。 “你看不出来吗？”我是一条科莫多巨蜥，如果你不知道的话，它只生活在印度尼西亚。”

"Are you going to move there once Halloween is over?" I shot back. "I heard that, Hank," my dad said, joining us in the kitchen. "Don't tease Emily. Halloween is supposed to be fun. Be nice to each other." "No problem, Dad," I said. Then, putting on my best smile, I said to Emily, "How wonderful that you won't need to wear a mask because you already look like a dragon." "Hank, what did I just say?" my dad snapped. "You owe your sister an apology."

“万圣节一过，你就搬过去吗？”我反驳道。 “我听说了，汉克。”爸爸说着，和我们一起走进厨房。 “别逗艾米丽。万圣节应该是有趣的。 善待彼此。”“没问题，爸爸，”我说。 然后，我露出最美好的笑容，对艾米丽说：“太好了，你不用戴面具了，因为你看起来已经像条龙了。” “汉克，我刚才说什么来着？” “你应该向你妹妹道歉。”