Chapter 4

Chapter four, When I get myself into trouble, there are only two ways out, and their names are Frankie Townsend and Ashley Wong. I can't tell you how many times my two best friends have saved me from disaster. Like the time I spilled glue, and my fingers got so stuck together, I couldn't even pick up a pencil. I thought I was going to have to take my spelling test holding the pencil in my mouth, until Frankie and Ashley pulled me to the sink in the back of the room. I didn't know that soaking your hands in warm water would melt the glue away. Too bad they couldn't take my spelling test for me, because as it turned out, I flunked it. So as Emily called her friends, my only thought was to call Frankie and Ashley. "Emergency meeting in the clubhouse," I

said into the phone. "Now." Five minutes later, the three of us were in the basement storage room we call our clubhouse. I started to tell them what happened, talking a mile a minute. "Wait a minute, Zip," Frankie interrupted. "You told your sister what?" "And you said you knew who?" Ashley chimed in. "You heard me," I told them, trying to appear like I knew what I was doing. "What's the big deal?" "The big deal," Frankie said, "is that—one— there is no such person as the Westside Wizard." "And two," Ashley added, "even if he did exist, he couldn't pull a snake out of thin air. No one can." "But there actually is a Westside Wizard," I explained. "You're looking at him." I held my arms out and bowed. Frankie shook his head.

"Uh-oh," Frankie said. "Here comes one of Hank's totally crazy plans." "You know how to pull scarves out of a top hat, right?" I began. "You can teach me that trick. Then all we have to do is tie a snake to the end of the scarves. Ba-boom, it's magic." "Where are we supposed to get this snake?" Ashley asked. "In the snake aisle at the ninety-nine-cent store?" "Great idea, Ashweena!" I said. "They actually have rubber snakes there. We'll go and pick one that looks really real, like with a forked tongue and everything." "Well, even if we do find a real-looking snake," Ashley said, "you still have to figure out a way to look like a wizard. You're not exactly a Harry Potter lookalike."

"You can help me make a costume," I said to her. "You're good at that." I could see that this idea interested Ashley. She pushed her glasses back on her nose and twirled her ponytail. She does that when she's thinking. "Well, you'd need a great costume so Emily doesn't recognize you," she said. "A wizard hat and robe, a big long beard, and maybe some sunglasses that cover up most of your face." "And I can change my voice so that it sounds all deep and old and wizardy." I was starting to love this idea. I switched into my best wizard voice. "Behold, with a wave of my arms, I will cast a powerful spell on you," I growled. "You sound like a frog with a cold," Frankie said. "Okay, maybe my wizard voice isn't great now, but I can work on it. I'll study old Mizbam the Mighty cartoons." Suddenly, Frankie's eyes lit up. "My big brother Otis went to his sixth-grade Halloween parade as Mizbam the Mighty," he

said. "I'll bet my mom packed his costume away in one of these boxes. It would be perfect for you!" We jumped up and started reading the labels of all the cardboard boxes that lined the shelves of the storage room. Summer clothes. Stuffed animals. Pots and pans. Soccer trophies. Finally, we came to one labeled OTIS. We pulled it down and took off the top. Frankie searched the box, sorting through some baby pictures of Otis. Then he picked up one and burst out laughing. "Don't tell Otis," he howled, "but here he is lying on a furry rug, with his naked butt sticking up in the air." Ashley and I cracked up. "Oh, here's what we're looking for," Frankie said, reaching way down to the bottom of the carton. He pulled out a pointed hat and a black robe with shiny silver stars. There was even a long white beard made out of cotton balls glued together. "It's perfect," Ashley said. "Try it on, Hank."

I slipped the robe over my head. Otis is tall, so the robe was very long on me. The arms almost touched the ground. When I slipped the beard around my ears, the end of it went down to my belly button. "Looks good," Frankie said, "but I still know it's you." "We need dark glasses," Ashley suggested, "to cover the rest of your face." She looked over the boxes and found one labeled MRS. FINK'S VACATION ITEMS. Inside, she found a large polka-dot bathing suit, lots of flowered sun hats, and a hot-pink pair of sunglasses covered with rhinestones. "Oh no, I'm not wearing those," I said. "Well, you can hope Emily doesn't recognize you," Ashley said with a shrug. "But I think she will, because I can." "Okay, you win." I took the pink sunglasses from Ashley and put them on.