Chapter 2

Chapter two five ways I could help emily enjoy her birthday by hank zipper. Number one, I could buy her a black and white cookie, except it's my favorite cookie in the world, and i'd probably eat it before I got home. Number two, I could buy her a dough pickle. I'd probably eat that before I got home too. Number three, I could offer to clean the cage of her iguana. Catherine, no, I can't just the thought of lizard droppings makes me want to wash my hands for twenty two hours.

Number four, I could dress up as a snake and pretend to be ginger, except my tongue isn't long enough. Also it's not forked, at least it was at last time I looked, number five, I could magically produce a snake out of thin air. Hey, now there's an idea. I'll have to talk to frankie about that. Frankie is an incredible magician. Once he almost pulled a nickel out of my nose, but I sneezed and blew it out before he could get to it.

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