Chapter 1

here's hank a short tale about a long dog

Chapter one, "Hank, I can see tiny bits of tuna fish swimming around on your tongue," my sister, Emily, said. "Then don't look," I told her. "Just listen. My mouth is full of words that are trying to come out." "Well, the tuna fish is coming out with them. And it's gross." I put down my fork. Actually, I was looking for an excuse to put it down, anyway. My mom had whipped up another one of her healthy dinners, which looked and tasted like a science experiment. If you ask me, tuna fish and blueberries do not belong together on the same plate.

"Besides, I don't care what you have to say," Emily went on. "Katherine was here first, and that's that." As she spoke, I noticed that her tongue didn't look so great either. It was all blue from the blueberries. It looked like the entire Smurf family was living in her mouth. "Emily, honey," my mom cut in, "Hank has a right to express his opinion." "That's right," I said. "And my opinion is that this family needs a pet." "We have a pet, and her name is Katherine," Emily snapped. "Katherine is an iguana," I answered. "All she does is hiss and catch flies. She can't even play ball. We need a dog." My dad stopped midbite and gave me a look. "Who's going to take care of this dog?" he asked. "A pet needs to be fed and walked and washed and taught proper rules of behavior." "And that's what I want to do," I said. "I can't wait for that job."

"Hank," Emily said with a sigh. "We can't have a dog because Katherine is just a baby. A big dog would scare her. As her mother, that would break my heart." "Oh, now you're her mother?" I said. "That makes sense, actually, because you look alike. You both have scales on your feet, claws on your hands, and long, sticky tongues that collect insects." "Hank, that's enough," my mom said. She got up and started to gather the dishes. Emily got up, too, and headed to her bedroom. She returned with Katherine wrapped around her shoulders like a scarf.

"You're not bringing that lizard to the table, are you?" I complained. "She's a member of this family, too," Emily told me. The minute Emily sat down in her chair, Katherine whipped out her long tongue and snatched the last bite of my buttered roll. It was the one thing I wanted to eat. I had been saving that bite to drown out the taste of the rest of

dinner. "Hey, Kathy!" I hollered. "Drop that roll right now. It's mine." It was too late. The roll had disappeared into her scaly iguana body. Katherine smiled at me as if to say, Tough patooties, kid. "You see what I mean, Dad?" I said. "It's not fair that Emily can have that lizard as a pet. She and her roll-stealer hang out in her room after dinner. But what about me? I'm all alone in my room, with nothing to do." "Actually, Hank," my dad said, "I was