Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7 On Friday, Frankie, Ashley, and I got all dressed up in our best clothes, the ones that our parents make us wear when we go out to dinner with them. It was very uncomfortable sitting in class wearing my blue suit. It made me feel like I wanted to scratch all over. Finally, at eleven o'clock, Ms. Flowers dismissed us so that we could go welcome Paula Hart. We hurried down the hall to the entrance of our school. Principal Love stood on the steps with us as we waited for Paula Hart to arrive. I was excited to meet a real author. I was nervous,

too, knowing that I hadn't finished her book yet. In fact, I still hadn't finished Chapter One. A yellow taxi pulled up in front of our school. Before the door opened, a woman with purple streaks in her hair poked her head out of the window. "Hi, kids!" she shouted. "Is this PS 87?" "Yes, it is," we shouted back. "Well, then I'm in the right place," she said with a big laugh. The taxi door flew open, and out came Paula Hart. The first thing I noticed was her shoes— pink, glittery army boots with purple shoelaces. She had silver rings on every finger and a long dress with giraffes all over it. You couldn't miss her earrings, which were sparkly books covered with red rhinestones.

"Oh my gosh," Ms. Hart said, walking right up to Ashley. "I love your rhinestone glasses. As far as I'm concerned, a person can't sparkle enough." Ashley giggled so much, she forgot what she was supposed to say. Frankie stuck his hand out and jumped into the conversation. "Welcome to our school," he said to Ms. Hart. "I'm Frankie Townsend, and this is Ashley Wong and Hank Zipzer. We're the welcoming

committee. We are all looking forward to hearing you speak." "My oh my, you have a great handshake," Ms. Hart said, pumping Frankie's arm so hard it made his head jiggle. "Hey, look," I said to her. "You turned my best friend into a bobblehead doll. Maybe I can put him on the shelf with my baseball-player collection. I have six bobbleheads. I got the last one when my grandpa took me to a Mets night game." I felt Principal Love's hand land like a jet plane on my shoulder. "Hank," he said. "I'm sure Ms. Hart does not want to hear the details of your toy collection." "Are you kidding me?" Ms. Hart said. "I am a huge fan of bobblehead dolls. I have a really cool hula dancer standing right next to my computer and a jiggly wiener dog on my kitchen windowsill." "I have a wiener dog, too," I said. "But he's real. And his name is Cheerio. I named him that

because when he chases his tail, he spins in a circle and looks like a Cheerio." Ms. Hart laughed so hard that I thought the sixth-grade class on the third floor could hear her. "I like you, Hank," she said. "You're funny. I was a funny kid, too, which always got me into trouble with my teachers." "Me too," I whispered. She gave me a fist bump. "From now on, call me Paula," she said. And then she winked at me. "The second-and third-grade classes are waiting for us in the library," Principal Love said. "Children, let's show Ms. Hart the way."

He turned and led us into school and down the main hall to the library. We passed the bulletin board with my sister's face plastered right in the middle of it. The hall was quiet, and we could hear Principal Love's Velcro sneakers squeaking across the floor. "It sounds like he's got a live mouse in his shoes," Paula whispered to us. We covered our mouths so we didn't laugh too loud. Principal Love glanced over his shoulder with a look that said, "Behave yourselves." That look even wiped the smile off Paula Hart's face. When we reached the library, the Queen of Wipe-That-Smile-Off-Your-Face, Ms. Adolf, was waiting in the doorway. "I'm glad you're finally here," Ms. Adolf said. "I've had a hard time keeping the children sitting still on the rug." "That's okay," Paula said. "They can squirm a little. I don't mind." "I'm kind of squirmy myself," I piped up. "It's not something to brag about, Henry," Ms. Adolf said.