Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9 I took Stanley out of his grocery bag and held him up for all the audience to see. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages," I said. "I would like you to meet my robot, the super-duper sock-picker-upper. He's named Stanley, after my father." I looked at my parents, who were sitting in the audience. I was so glad that my mom could get away from work. And my dad had such a proud smile on his face. I saw him give my mom a nudge with his elbow. She gave him a pat on the shoulder.

我把斯坦利从他的购物袋里拿出来，举起来让所有的观众都看到。 “女士们，先生们，所有年龄段的男孩和女孩，”我说。 “我想让你见见我的机器人，超级捡袜子的机器人。 他叫斯坦利，以我父亲的名字命名。” 我看了看坐在观众席上的父母。 我很高兴妈妈可以不用工作了。 我爸爸脸上挂着骄傲的笑容。 我看见他用胳膊肘推了我妈妈一下。 她轻轻地拍了拍他的肩膀。

"How many people here are told every day to pick up their socks and put them in the hamper?" I asked, raising my own hand. Lots of other kids raised their hands, too. Even a few of the parents chuckled and raised their hands. "We all know that picking up socks is annoying," I said, "but I, Hank Zipzer, have the solution." I reached in the bag and pulled out two socks. They didn't match, even though I was positive I had put a matching pair in there. I placed the socks on the floor as if nothing was wrong. Then I put one of our wooden salad bowls nearby. "Watch and be amazed," I told the audience. "You will see Stanley pick up the

“这里有多少人每天被要求把袜子捡起来放进篮子里？”我举手问道。 许多其他的孩子也举手了。 甚至有几个家长也笑了起来，举起了手。 “我们都知道捡袜子很烦人，”我说，“但我，汉克·齐泽尔，有解决办法。” 我把手伸进包里，拿出两只袜子。 它们不匹配，尽管我确定我放了一对匹配的。 我把袜子放在地板上，好像什么事也没有发生。 然后我把我们的一个木制沙拉碗放在旁边。 我对观众说：“看，你会大吃一惊的。” “你会看到斯坦利拿起

socks and drop them in the salad bowl, which is playing the part of a hamper. Take a bow, Mr. Salad Bowl." The audience laughed. This is going well. Taking the remote control, I pressed the forward button and waited for Stanley to roll across the stage to the socks. He did just the opposite. He rolled away from the socks, and when I say away, I mean far away. Correction. This is not going so well. "You can't tell forward from backward, Zipper Teeth," McKelty shouted. "Looks like

把袜子扔进沙拉碗里，沙拉碗就像篮子一样。 请鞠躬，沙拉碗先生。” 观众笑了。一切进展顺利。 我拿起遥控器，按下前进键，等着史丹利从舞台那边滚到袜子那边。 他的做法恰恰相反。他从袜子上滚开了，我说的离开，是指远远的离开。 修正。事情进展不太顺利。 “你分不清向前和向后，拉链牙，”麦凯尔蒂喊道。 “看起来像

your robot's got the same problem." I looked down at the remote control. I had pressed the forward button. Why wasn't Stanley listening? "Seems like my little robot has a mind of his own," I said to the audience. I was smiling on the outside, but shaking on the inside. "Let's try again, okay, Stanley?" I pushed the forward button all the way down with my thumb. Stanley lurched backward again, this time at full speed. He was going so fast, he rolled right up onto Principal Love's sneakers and only stopped when his wheels got tangled up in Principal Love's shoelaces. You could hear Stanley's motor whirring, but he wasn't going anywhere.

你的机器人也有同样的问题。” 我低头看了看遥控器。 我按了前进键。 为什么斯坦利不听呢？ “看来我的小机器人有自己的思想，”我对观众说。 我面带微笑，内心却在颤抖。 “我们再试一次，好吗，斯坦利？”我用拇指按下了前进键。 斯坦利又踉踉跄跄地向后退去，这次是全速后退。 他开得太快了，直接滚到了勒夫校长的运动鞋上，直到车轮被勒夫校长的鞋带缠住才停了下来。 你可以听到斯坦利的马达在旋转，但他哪儿也不去。

Everyone was laughing at me, especially Nick McKelty. "Nice move, loser," he called out. I wasn't going to let him get away with that, so I said the first thing that came to my mind. "Stanley," I said. "You're supposed to pick socks up off the floor, not pull them off Principal Love's feet!" The audience laughed again, but this time they were laughing with me.

所有人都在嘲笑我，尤其是尼克·麦克尔蒂。 “干得好，失败者。”他喊道。 我不会让他得逞的，所以我想到什么就说什么。 “斯坦利，”我说。“你应该把地上的袜子捡起来，而不是把袜子从洛夫校长的脚上扯下来！”观众们又笑了起来，但这次他们是和我一起笑的。

"Don't move, Principal Love," I said. "I've got this under control." I went over to him, knelt down, and lifted Stanley off his sneakers. Well, I pulled most of him off. My sister's polka-dot spoon in the shape of a kitten stayed behind in the shoelaces. Poor Stanley was now officially missing an arm. "Looks like your so-called robot is a total flop," McKelty called out. "Mr. McKelty, if I have to remind you one more time, I will have to ask you to leave this assembly," Principal Love said. "We don't make fun of others here." I just stood there holding Stanley. I was frozen. Stanley had worked so well on our dining-room table. I couldn't figure out what was

“别动，洛夫校长，”我说。 “我已经控制住了。” 我走过去，跪了下来，把斯坦利从球鞋上拿下来。 我把他的大部分都扯掉了。 我妹妹的小猫形状的圆点勺子留在了鞋带里。 可怜的斯坦利现在正式失去了一条胳膊。 “看来你所谓的机器人是个彻底的失败，”麦凯尔蒂喊道。 “麦凯尔蒂先生，如果我必须再提醒你一次，我将不得不请你离开这个集会，”洛夫校长说。 “我们这里不取笑别人。” 我只是抱着斯坦利站在那里。 我僵住了。斯坦利在我们的餐桌上表现得非常出色。 我不知道那是什么