Chapter 6

Chapter six, I spent morning recess standing as close as I could to the heater in Principal Love's office. I wasn't in any trouble. It's just that he happens to have the most powerful heater in my school. I didn't care where I was. I just wanted to unfreeze my underpants from my butt. Trust me, it's no fun having icicles in your tighty-whities. When the bell rang, I checked my bottom. It was warm and mostly dry. As I hurried for the door, Principal Love tapped me on the shoulder. "Your hat, Hank," he said, handing me my damp blue knit cap. "Is there anything you don't forget?"

"I never forget my birthday, Principal Love." "Hank, always remember these words: Being forgetful puts you on the road to nowhere." That didn't make any sense. "Principal Love, can I ask you a question? How can there be a road to nowhere? I mean, isn't nowhere nowhere?" "You'll understand what I'm talking about when you're my age," he said. He licked two fingers and slicked down the single strand of hair on his bald head.

Holy cow. I hope when I'm his age, I have more hair. I got to class just as the bell rang. Ms. Flowers had already listed everybody's name on the blackboard. Next to each name was a blank space where she would write what part each person was chosen to play. "Okay, class," Ms. Flowers began. "I know you're all nervous. But there's no need to be. Just do the best you can. Let's start with our newest student, Ashley Wong. She was lucky

enough to be able to go over the script this weekend with some new friends she made." Ashley smiled at Frankie and me. "Everyone say, 'Welcome, Ashley,'" Ms. Flowers continued. We did. Then Ashley walked up to the front of the class, dragging a leg zombie-style behind her. She went right into her babysitter zombie performance. "Listen, kids," she moaned to three imaginary children. "Don't worry about my eyeball dropping to the ground. I'll pick it up later." Everyone laughed and applauded. Ashley took a bow and sat down. "Excellent," Ms. Flowers said. "I see we have a little actress among us. What a great way to start off our auditions." Luke Whitman went next. He set a new low on the disgusting scale when he made a volcano erupt through his nose. Halfway through, Ms. Flowers had to send him to the nurse's office for emergency nose repair.

Katie Sperling did a great job playing a pop up book. Every time she turned a page, she jumped so high her pigtails stood straight up. But the best of everyone was Frankie playing the part of Barry. He had memorized every line, and there were a lot of them. When he pretended to fall asleep, it was so real you actually thought he was dreaming. I clapped like crazy when he was done. Everyone joined in. We all knew there was no one else that could play Barry. Then it was my turn. "Hank, what part have you chosen to audition for?" Ms. Flowers asked. "Aqua Fly," I answered. My heart was thumping as I walked to the front of the class, holding Frankie's script. I passed Ashley's desk. "You're going to be great," she whispered. It seemed to take forever to reach the front of the room. When I got there, Ms. Flowers had to remind me to turn and face the class. I took a deep breath and looked down at the script. All I

saw was a sea of blue highlights. Those were the very words I had gone over all weekend long. And I didn't recognize one of them. "Hank, you can start any time you're ready," I heard Ms. Flowers say. I couldn't read. All I could manage to do was buzz. It seemed like I buzzed for twenty minutes. Finally, Ms. Flowers interrupted my buzz fest. "Are you going to say any of the lines?" she