Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

第六章

HOW TO DESTROY THE EARTH

如何毁灭地球

1 HIT IT WITH A BIG ROCK Equipment needed: A big rock. Something about the size of the Moon would do it. (IF ONLY THERE WAS SOMETHING THE SIZE OF THE MOON NEARBY... WAIT A MINUTE!) A lot of massive rocket engines would also help. Instructions: This one's easy—push the Moon toward the Earth! It would need a very big push, though, so bring A LOT OF ROCKETS. The results would be pretty similar to the crash that formed the Moon in the first place. The Moon would come FLYING DOWN toward the Earth, SMASH the atmosphere out of the way, and immediately VAPORIZE anything underneath. Seconds afterward, the massive impact would turn the entire surface of our planet into lava and BLAST MILLIONS OF TONS of debris into space. A new Moon might even form from the debris! (YOU MADE IT, SO YOU GET TO NAME IT. MOON 2, MAYBE? ANYTHING BUT MOONY MCMOON FACE.)

所需装备：一块大石头。 月球大小的物体就能做到。 (如果附近有月球那么大的东西就好了…… 等一下！)许多大型火箭发动机也会有所帮助。 说明：这个很简单——把月球推向地球！这需要很大的推力，所以要带很多火箭。 其结果与最初形成月球的撞击非常相似。 月球将飞向地球，粉碎大气层，并立即蒸发下面的一切。 几秒钟后，巨大的撞击将把我们星球的整个表面变成熔岩，并将数百万吨的碎片炸向太空。 一个新月甚至可能从这些碎片中形成！(你做的，所以你可以给它起名字。 也许是月球2号？除了那张傻乎乎的脸。)

Fun factor: 8/10. This one would be great—a nice big crash and some cool visuals as the surface of the Earth melts. Make sure you are a safe distance away, though. You don't want a loose mountain to hit your orbiting space station. 2 THROW IT INTO THE SUN Equipment needed: Rocket engines again— but even more of them this time. The Earth is harder to move than the Moon. Instructions: Just like pushing the Moon into the Earth, we're going to push the Earth into the Sun! You need a REALLY BIG PUSH, otherwise you'll just slightly change Earth's orbit (and the result might only be slightly warmer summers or something. EWW.).

乐趣系数：8/10。这一次会很棒——一个漂亮的大碰撞和一些很酷的地球表面融化的视觉效果。 不过要确保你和他保持安全距离。 你可不想一座松动的山撞到你的轨道空间站。 所需设备：又是火箭发动机——但这次需要更多的火箭发动机。 地球比月球更难移动。 说明：就像把月球推向地球一样，我们要把地球推向太阳！你需要一个非常大的推力，否则你只会稍微改变地球的轨道（结果可能只是稍微温暖一点的夏天或什么的）。 恶)。

As the Earth gets closer to the Sun, it'll be THOROUGHLY ROASTED. Our atmosphere will boil away into space, and the Earth's surface will melt. Eventually, Earth will be swallowed and end its life as a little blob of iron sinking into the Sun. Fun factor: 4/10. You wouldn't see much—one little fiery bloop and it'll all be over. 3 KILL THE SUN Equipment needed: A lot of helium balloons. I DO MEAN A LOT. About 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 would do it. Instructions: We're going to fill the Sun with helium. If you remember, you can't put the Sun out with water (BECAUSE HYDROGEN-ONE OF THE TWO ATOMS THAT MAKE WATER-IS LITERALLY STAR FUEL). But helium is the thing that will eventually KILL THE SUN, so all we need to do is give it a helping hand. Just throw enough helium balloons at the Sun and you'll make it SWELL UP INTO A RED GIANT STAR and roast the Earth to death.

随着地球越来越靠近太阳，它将被彻底烤熟。 我们的大气层将蒸发到太空中，地球表面将融化。 最终，地球将被吞噬，并以一小团铁沉入太阳的形式结束生命。 乐趣系数：4/10。你不会看到太多——一声小小的火舌，一切就结束了。 所需装备：很多氦气球。 我确实很重要。大约1000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000人就能做到。 说明：我们要用氦填充太阳。 如果你还记得，你不能用水把太阳灭掉（因为氢——构成水的两个原子之一——是名副其实的恒星燃料）。 但氦是最终会杀死太阳的东西，所以我们所需要做的就是帮助它。 只要把足够多的氦气球扔向太阳，你就能让它膨胀成一颗红巨星，把地球烤死。

WELCOME TO THE END OF THE WORLD PARTY! Fun factor: 9/10. You get to fill the inner Solar System with helium balloons, like a PARTY FOR THE END OF THE WORLD. And then you get to enjoy the end of the world. WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE? 4 FIND A NEARBY SUPERNOVA Equipment needed: A star about to explode. Plus a way to move the Earth through space. Instructions: Drag the Earth across millions of miles of space and park it in orbit around a dying star. Each galaxy has a couple supernovas per century, so all you need to do is find the right star.

欢迎来到世界末日派对！乐趣系数：9/10。 你可以用氦气球填满太阳系内部，就像世界末日的派对一样。 然后你就可以享受世界末日了。 有什么不喜欢的呢？所需装备：一颗即将爆炸的恒星。 还有一种让地球在太空中移动的方法。 操作说明：拖着地球穿越数百万英里的太空，把它停在一颗垂死的恒星周围的轨道上。 每个星系每个世纪都有几颗超新星，所以你需要做的就是找到合适的恒星。