7 Doug in Control

Chapter Seven Doug in Control Vale and Finn made their way back to Doug's gardens. They never for a moment wondered which way they should turn. It was like they could see a map drawn in their minds. The supersized aliens stood guard. As Finn and Vale approached, the giants squatted down and pressed their shoulders together, forming an impenetrable wall. Finn heard words form in his head. "Let us pass, big ones," he said out loud. "Doug has sent for us." But the big ones didn't budge. "AKLFJAFUOAIWFAFA!" Vale screamed at the giants in the aliens' native tongue. And the three oafs immediately bowed and stepped aside. "What did I just say to them?" asked Vale.

"I don't know," said Finn. "You kind of sounded like an angry kitten." A photo of Doug graduating from high school flickered into Finn's brain. "I think something weird is going on," Finn whispered to Vale. "Do you keep—" "Well, that didn't work!" yelled Doug. He and the other small aliens emerged from a path up ahead. "I thought you could stop the planet from blowing up, but nope! It has most definitely blown up. By my measure we have—" Doug stopped himself. He looked over at the nervous giants by the gate and switched to a whisper. "By my measure, we have about ten minutes until the whole planet is completely coconutted." "What does that mean?" asked Vale. The image of a planet appeared in Finn's and Vale's minds. The planet was cracked in half and opened up. The two sides floated away from each other. The molten rock on the inside of the planet spilled out, like the juice of, well, a coconut. "Whoa," said Vale. "Completely coconutted," said Doug. "But don't mention it in front of the big guys. I can barely keep them restrained as it is."

"Why are we here?" said Finn. "We should be helping our friends."

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"They're not your friends," said Doug. "I heard you arguing with that Abigail. You're right; you're older than she is." "They are our friends," said Finn. "Friends can argue. And wait, how did you hear me?" "Um," said Doug. "AFJLAWEFJLAWFBEAGI?!" Finn had no idea what Doug just howled. But he thought he knew what he meant. "Okay, you know what, we don't have time for this," said Doug. "Did I control your minds? Yes. But I don't like that term. I prefer to say you've been Doug'd." "Get out of my head, man!" yelled Vale, smacking the side of his helmet like there was water in his ear. "And you chose us because I was fighting with Abigail?" said Finn. He began to feel sick. "Yes," said Doug. "You two were easy. You were already fighting with them. I just steered you in a different direction." "No way," said Vale. "I don't believe you. You can't control our minds." "I'm doing it right now," said Doug. "No way," Vale repeated.

"Bark like a dog," said Doug. "Woof," said Vale. "See?" said Doug. Finn tried to focus. He wanted to keep Doug out of his head. He looked down and saw that Doug and the other aliens were carrying suitcases. "Yes," said Doug. "It is time for us to go now. All we have to do is make our way to your ship and we'll be off. I know a tropical planet just a few light-years from here where the beaches are gorgeous. So long as you can avoid the crabs... but never mind, let's go." "You want to fly out in our ship?" said Vale. "Of course!" said Doug. "That creature you met, the one who banana'd our planet? Its family stole all our ships when they left. So now let's go. We need to get to your little pod." "Banana'd?" said Finn. "I thought you said the planet coco—" "It doesn't matter!" yelled Doug. His brain flashed a brilliant red. Finn's head suddenly hurt. It was like a siren went off in his mind. "We have to go now." Finn looked at Vale, who was stooped over, covering his ears.