5 Simon Is Simon

CHAPTER FIVE SIMON IS SIMON WE HADN'T SEEN Mr. Willow coming. "What problem did you solve?" he asked, crossing his arms against his chest as he stared down at Simon. "Umm," Simon said, pausing for time. He leaned his head straight back and looked up at Mr. Willow. "What problem did you solve?" our teacher repeated. "Mr. Willow, can I ask you something?" Simon said, still leaning back. Rosie and I could tell he was going to try to change the subject. He knew that Mr. Willow wouldn't appreciate us talking about anything other than our food plates.

第五章西蒙是西蒙我们没看见威罗先生来了。 “你解决了什么问题？”他问道，双手交叉在胸前，低头看着西蒙。 “嗯，”西蒙说，停顿了一下。 他向后仰着头，抬头看着威罗先生。 “你们解决了什么问题？”老师重复道。 “威罗先生，我能问你件事吗？”西蒙说，仍然往后靠。 罗西和我都能看出他想要转移话题。 他知道维罗先生不会喜欢我们谈论盘子以外的话题。

Mr. Willow didn't look like he wanted to hear what Simon was about to ask. But he said, "Okay, Simon. What is it?" Then Simon said something I wouldn't have guessed in a million-billion years. He asked, "Did you know that you have magnificent nostrils?" "What?" Mr. Willow asked. He didn't ask What? because he hadn't heard Simon. He asked What? because he couldn't believe what had just come out of Simon's mouth. "Your nostrils," Simon said. "They're magnificent."

威罗先生看起来并不想听西蒙将要问什么。 但他说：“好吧，西蒙。 这是什么？”然后西蒙说了一些我绝对猜不到的话。 他问：“你知道你的鼻孔很漂亮吗？”“什么?”威罗先生问。 他没有问什么？因为他没有听到西蒙的声音。 他问什么？因为他不敢相信西蒙口中所说的话。 “你的鼻孔，”西蒙说。 “他们华丽的。”

Mr. Willow put his right hand on his forehead and shook his head. He wasn't mad. He was more, like, amused. Mr. Willow was often amused by Simon. "You really think so, Simon?" "For real," Simon said and sat back upright. "Your nostrils are nice and circular. Pretty symmetrical. Not too hairy. Excellent specimens, I'd say." I stared down at my food plate as hard as I could. My eyes watered. Not from crying over the move, but from trying really hard not to laugh out loud. Rosie felt the same way. She squeezed her eyes shut. "Simon, sometimes I wonder if your brain and your mouth are connected," Mr. Willow said and smiled.

威罗先生把右手放在额头上摇了摇头。 他没有生气。他更像是被逗乐了。 威罗先生经常被西蒙逗乐。 “你真的这么认为吗，西蒙？”“说真的，”西蒙说着坐直了身子。 “你的鼻孔又圆又好看。 漂亮的对称。不要毛茸茸的。 我得说，这是极好的标本。” 我使劲盯着我的餐盘。 我的眼睛湿润了。不是因为搬家而哭，而是因为努力忍住不大声笑出来。 罗茜也有同样的感觉。她紧紧地闭上眼睛。 “西蒙，有时候我想知道你的大脑和你的嘴是否有联系，”威洛先生笑着说。

"I know, right?" Simon said and scrunched up his shoulders. He had successfully changed the subject. Mr. Willow came around to the front of Table 5 and said, "Let's see how you three are doing with your food plates." He looked at Rosie's first. And it was, as usual, awesome. Mr. Willow looked at mine next.

“我知道，对吧？”西蒙说着，耸了耸肩膀。 他成功地转移了话题。 威罗先生走到5号桌的前面说：“让我们看看你们三个是怎么处理你们的餐盘的。” 他先看了看罗西的。 和往常一样，非常棒。 威罗先生接着看了看我的。

"This looks good, Molly," he said, handing my food plate back after examining it for a few seconds. "But your fruit section is a little empty. Let's add one more. How about some grapes?" "I don't eat grapes." "You don't?" Mr. Willow asked. "Are you allergic?" "No," I answered and explained some more. "Grapes come in bunches. And I can't count how many are in a bunch. And I like to eat things in even numbers. So, obviously, I don't eat grapes." "Right, umm, okay. That makes perfectly good sense," Mr. Willow said. "How about an apple then?" "No," I answered again—and explained again. "I only eat fruit that is the same color on the inside and outside. An apple is red or green on the outside, but white on the inside. So no apples for me." Mr. Willow asked, "How about two cherries?"

“这个看起来不错，莫莉，”他说，看了几秒钟后把我的盘子递给我。 “但是你的水果区有点空。 再加一个。来点葡萄怎么样？”“我不吃葡萄。” “你不?”威罗先生问。 “你过敏吗？”“不，”我回答，并进一步解释。 “葡萄是成串的。我数不清一堆有多少。 我喜欢吃偶数的东西。 所以，很明显，我不吃葡萄。” “好吧，嗯，好吧。这完全说得通，”威洛说。 “那吃个苹果怎么样？”“不，”我再次回答，并再次解释。 “我只吃内外颜色相同的水果。 苹果的外面是红色或绿色的，但里面是白色的。 所以我没有苹果了。”柳树先生问：“两颗樱桃怎么样？”