Chapter 5

Chapter 5 I will now answer questions from the reporters about this thrilling new statue of me, President Horse G. Horse, which was created by the famous artist Vanessa Cowcow." Nobody had any questions. "OK... I will also answer questions about my beautiful new presidential limousine! Isn't it awesome?" Nobody had any questions. "All right... I will also answer questions about my collection of salt and pepper shakers."

There was a long, awkward silence. Not a very thrilling silence, either. Actually, it wasn't completely silent. There was a faraway sound... sort of a munch, munch, munch sound. I looked around for Nina. I couldn't find her. I thought about asking the President if he had seen her, but someone else was finally asking him a question. "Excuse me!" shouted a TV news reporter. "Why doesn't the statue have a mane?"

"What?" snarled the President. "A mane—you know, the long hair running down the back of your neck." "I know what a mane is, you turkey! I'm a horse!" "Well, then... why isn't there a mane on your statue?" "What?" snarled the President again. "Just look up!" The President looked up. "MY STATUE!" yelled the President. "THE MANE IS MISSING! Call the Secret Service! Call the

Marines! Call the FBI! Somebody figure out where my mane is!" "AHA!" I yelled. "Mr. President, I can solve this THRILLING mystery for you!" The President and all the TV news reporters turned to look at me. "Who the hay are you?" the President asked. "I'm Inspector Flytrap, the famous detective."

"Oh yeah? If you're so famous, how come I've never heard of you?" "You HAVE heard of me! We talked on the phone this morning!" "Oh yeah. Flyball—the guy who doesn't use the toilet," said the President. All the TV news reporters started to gobble, "You don't use a toilet? Why don't you use a toilet? Are you protesting toilets?" "NO COMMENT!" I yelled.

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