Chapter 2

Chapter 2 My phone rang. "Hello," I said. "Flytrap Detective Agency." A rude voice started asking me questions. "Is this Mr. Spyflap?" "My name," I answered, "is Inspector Flytrap. I am a— "What the hay is a flytrap?" "A flytrap is a plant that eats flies." "So your name is Spyflap the Flytrap?" "It's not SPYFLAP," I yelled into the phone. "It's FLYTRAP!"

"That's nuts!" "It's not nuts! I'm a Venus flytrap, so it makes sense that my name is Flytrap!" "Yeah, maybe. But I still think Flytrap is a dumb name!" "My name is Inspector Flytrap! I am a famous detective." "Oh yeah? If you're so famous, how come I've never heard of you?" "You must have heard of me!" "Nope." "But YOU are calling ME on the phone!" "Well, I'm trying to reach Nina the Goat."

Nina the Goat is my assistant. Since I am a plant and live in a flowerpot, I need someone to move me from one thrilling crime scene to the next. Nina pushes me from place to place on a skateboard-really fast. Too fast! "I'm sorry, Nina the Goat cannot talk on the phone right now." "Why not?" "Because if I give her the phone, she'll eat it." "She still eats stuff?" "Yes, she eats just about everything, including cans, can openers, wires, belt buckles, books, e-books, small cars, door-stops, lacrosse sticks, tables, and toilets." "She ate the toilet?" "Yes." "How do you go to the bathroom?" "I'm a plant. I don't have to go to the bathroom." "Really? What about—"

"This is ridiculous!" I screamed into the phone. "My bathroom habits are none of your business! Now, do you want to leave a message for Nina or not?" "Oh yeah... uh... tell her the President of the United States of America called. Just tell her to stop by the Capitol Building at noon. You can come, too, Flyball." And then he hung up.