Chapter 3

chapter three The Bone Howler—or rather, half of the Bone Howler —is climbing out of the collapsed castle. It's like some alien entity crawling from the smoldering crater of a just-crashed meteor. "Uuh, I thought you killed that thing?" Dirk says, reaching for his sword. "Not entirely, it would seem," Quint answers. "The vines and bone were sheared through, but it's still going." The Bone Howler's dead eyes dart around with a mixture of confusion and anger, like someone just jostled it out of a peaceful sleep. "And it looks peeved," Quint says. "I'd be peeved, too, if a kid conjurer sliced me in half." "Ooh, half," Quint says. "We should call it the Bone-Halfer now." The monster must not be a fan of the new name— because at that moment, it attacks! The beast's powerful front legs catapult it forward over the fallen walls. It barrels through a table marked CRAFT SERVICES—CREW ONLY!, sending a moldy frittata flying as it charges toward Quint and Dirk.

"Drooler, buddy, we've got some more fighting to do," Dirk says. "It wasn't always like this, I swear." Drooler chirps cheerfully in response. Quint peers down at his cane: the battery indicator shows that it's zapped, on empty. Relief fills Quint as he realizes he can't use his cane, and therefore doesn't have to risk royally messing up again. "Oh, fiddlesticks!" he says with a little too much gusto. "My cane needs time to recharge." "You don't gotta use it for wizard stuff!" Dirk says. "Use it for Dirk stuff!" "What's Dirk stuff?" "Bashin' monsters!"

"That I can do!" Quint says, cocking back the cane —and just in time... The bounding Bone-Halfer leaps! In a flash, Dirk and Quint are locked in mortal combat with the other- dimensional beast... Half of this guy is still bigger than all of us. Half the size, twice as ferocious scorch jab With every stab of Dirk's sword, Ultra-Slime splashes, melting the vines that give the dead monster life. One swing knocks two of the Bone-Halfer's front fangs loose. Another sends a bony hoof flying,

crashing into a giant plastic horseshoe that hangs outside the town's stable. The Bone-Halfer roars, swiping at Dirk, then twisting to avoid Quint's jabs. It's like a teenager slapping away a pair of annoying little brothers. "Hey, Quint, quick question," Dirk says, mid- swing. "If we're fighting the monster's head right now, d'you think Jack and June are back at the Mallusk fighting the monster's butt?" Quint shakes away the image. "If they are, they got the better part of this deal..." The Bone-Halfer whip-smacks a director's chair, sending it pinwheeling into Quint. "Oof!" Quint cries, tumbling end over end, finally slamming into the town apothecary: The Potion

Pantry. As Quint waits for the air to return to his lungs, he sees the store's facade looming over him—and notices the large, open window on the second floor. An electrical cord dangles from a giant-sized stage light on the roof. Quint thinks back to black-and white movie Monday with his parents. It was his favorite night of the week. "IDEA!" Quint exclaims, rising. He reaches for the electrical cord, his mind turning quickly as he does the math. He eyes the open window, takes two steps back, does a few more calculations, then takes a half step to the side. "Dirk!" Quint calls. "Send that thing my way!" "Happily," Dirk shouts, swinging his sword into the Bone-Halfer's broken wing, half spinning the monster. The Bone-Halfer spots Quint then, and something flashes in the monster's eyes. Something like, Hey! There is the human creature who sliced me in two! It charges at Quint. Quint steels himself. He hopes his math is right. Hopes he remembers how the stunt from black-and white movie Monday worked. The shrieking Bone-Halfer's hideous mug is only a dozen feet away, closing fast, when—

Quint pulls! And the front wall of the Potion Pantry begins to fall... Quint wants to run, flee, but he holds his ground, staying perfectly still as the wall crashes down and— SLAM The open window comes down around Quint, while the rest of the wall, including the heavy spotlight, crashes atop the Bone-Halfer. "I can't believe that worked..." Quint gasps.