Chapter 17

chapter seventeen "Lookit!" Dirk says. "There's a little Gremlin-Jerk hanging out in the Squancher's throat!" "Two monsters for the price of one," Galamelon says. "That's a bargain." The Gremlin-Jerk shouts "Chittity! Kikt chittity!" again, but before the Squancher can roll forward to crush and eat— Pow Chomp. Which means, hey-what's the big idea?

"Yeah, Carol, chomp that tooth!" Kimmy cheers, as Carol clamps down on one of the Squancher's massive fangs, wrenching it forward. "That puppy is some puppy," Dirk says in awe. Carol is like a mad, movie-villain dentist, ripping the Squancher's fang fully out of its mouth as she drops to the ground. The Squancher howls in agony while the Gremlin- Jerk cries out in annoyance. Carol gives a little shake, then watches as the Squancher, overcome by pain, reels back, opening up like some dreadful, other-dimensional snap bracelet. The dazed Squancher totters back and forth—then begins to topple forward. The Gremlin-Jerk unleashes a series of rapid, high- pitched exclamations—but is quickly silenced as the Squancher belly flops forward. There's a cataclysmic crunch as it smashes onto the maze hedge, flattening the cornstalk wall beneath its massive body. "Aww, look at that! It made a bridge for us!" Kimmy exclaims. "What a sweetie!" "A new path is revealed!" Skaelka bellows, charging up the Squancher's shell. "Follow me!"

Hero que you you guys know. It's just a movie, right? They descend into another row of the maze, leaving the Squancher behind. "We are nearing the point of exit!" Skaelka calls. "Sounds like you guys pretty much have this under control," Galamelon says, hopping aboard the Wrangler and doing a full recline in the seat. "Pete!" Kimmy shouts to the cricket-looking monster. "If he gets too comfortable, feel free to give him a flick." "Right! Left! Oh-ho, this is a tricky one!" Skaelka barks as they zoom through the maze. "These scheming maze-makers believe they can outwit us

with a loop-around, but they underestimate the mind of Skaelka!" And then, at long last, the path widens. The endless labyrinth turns into a straightaway, lined with snack stands and souvenir T-shirt booths. "OMG," says Kimmy. "OH. EM. GEE. This is..." "The exit!" Dirk exclaims. "Finally!" A sign arches over the pathway ahead, strung between two towering Frankie Ferret statues. A wind- beaten banner reads, CONGRATULATIONS! KING POSSUM APPLAUDS YOUR SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF THE CORN LABYRINTH OF PERIL! READY TO DO IT AGAIN? ONLY $59. CASH ONLY. That'll be a nope, Dirk thinks. Galamelon cheers from his perch atop the Jeep. "I knew entering the maze was the wise choice! I would never lead you astray, for I am—" GRAWWRGH! The heroes are passing beneath the exit sign, close —oh so close—to freedom, when the wounded Squancher appears behind them. The monster's shell- body uncoils. Inside, the dazed—and slightly squashed—Gremlin-Jerk jabs a finger...

Or when translated, don't let them escape. We haven't eaten in so very long. The tall one looks particularly tasty. Apparently, Squanchers don't appreciate having their fangs yanked out by carapace puppies. And Gremlin-Jerks don't enjoy being crushed. And neither takes kindly to being used as a bridge. The Gremlin-Jerk flashes a goodbye sneer as the Squancher rolls closed, balling up and barreling forward. "Carol!" Kimmy shouts. "Watch out behind—" SLAM!

The Squancher slams into Carol like a living, breathing wrecking ball! Carol goes airborne, rolling end over end, tumbling into a final 360-degree flip. Then a piercing KRAK rings out as she crashes through the exit sign. my disregard of seatbelt. Safety will be my downfall. Hurry before the sign falls and we're trapped. A thunderous smash booms behind Quint, Dirk, Kimmy, and Skaelka as the loosened exit sign falls from its hinges. It crashes down behind them, bringing the towering ferrets with it, creating a massive wall of wreckage.