Chapter 5

chapter five Citizens of Mollusk City Loot Day is upon us. "Evie Snark..." June growls. "Oh, you know Evie??" Johnny Steve asks. "Well, that's nice. Friends, reunited!"

"Evie Snark is not our friend," I say. "She's the worst, and she's out of her mind. She stole the Louisville Slicer! She caused Dirk to get bitten by a zombie! She summoned the Cosmic Terror Ghazt to our dimension!" Looking up at Evie, I'm suddenly brought crashing back to that night at Dandy-Lions ice cream. The night Bardle died...

Evie helped awaken Thrull. And she stood there, did nothing, while Thrull killed Bardle. Bardle might still be alive today if it weren't for her... I shake away the thought. Need to focus on the here and now. All around us, the monsters grow more and more eager for whatever is about to happen. Probably something self-important and annoying, if I know Evie. She steps aside. "Presenting the one you've been waiting for, your beloved, the most benevolent, the Grand Protector... GHAZT!" I gasp. Of course it's Ghazt! The awful rat monster appears. "YES, IT IS I! GHAZT, THE COSMIC GENERAL!"

"I believe that may be the evil creature on board," Johnny Steve whispers. "You're a great spy," June says, "because it definitely is." I loathe Ghazt, but I gotta admit that he's looking good. Way better than the last time we saw him, swirling down a sewer pipe... The New and Improved Ghazt, AKA Cosmic General, AKA the Grand Protector of Mallusk City Shockingly defined biceps and forearms dream in I new lease on life.

"What are the odds that we'd wind up on the same mobile mall as those doofuses?" I moan. "I'm looking forward to a rematch," Dirk mutters, glaring up at them. Evie takes the PA microphone back and says, "GHAZT WILL NOW BESTOW UPON YOU MANY GIFTS!" "Whoops! That's my cue!" Smud says. "I gotta help with Loot Day. Can't gift the Loot Globes without me!" "Loot Globes," I say. "Sounds cool. Darn it." Smud opens a gate that's been built around an escalator and quickly begins clomping upstairs. "I'm coming! I'm coming! Don't start yet!" Dirk darts forward, trying to follow, but— SLAM! Smud is barely two steps up the escalator when the gate clangs shut. It sparks, electricity running through it. I notice the same electrified protection runs around the entire Food Court, keeping everyone but the Grand Protector and his friends out. Smud makes it upstairs to the Food Court and speeds behind Ghazt, out of sight. Evie announces, "AND NOW... GRAND PROTECTOR, PLEASE PULL THE LEVER!" Ghazt looks sort of bored by this whole thing, but Evie gives him a little elbow to the rear, and he delivers his next line. "IT IS BY MY PAW THAT YOU ARE

GIFTED THESE LUXURIES! IT IS BY MY PAW THAT YOU ARE KEPT SAFE!" Ghazt slaps awkwardly at the lever while Evie scowls. Finally, he gets his paw around it, and— KSHH-HISSS! The mall's monorail slides into view behind Evie and Ghazt. Smud hurries to get on board before it takes off again. He just barely makes it, scrambling in as it glides away from the Food Court, out over the mall. The monorail car is jammed full of round containers, like giant plastic Easter eggs: the "Loot Globes." "What's in those?" Quint whispers. We don't have to wonder for long. Evie's voice booms: "AND NOW... THE GIFTING BEGINS!" With that, Smud kicks the first plastic Loot Globe overboard. It breaks open midair and... SMASH! The Gifting of the Loot!