Chapter 22

chapter twenty-two That's a whole bunch of bad guys. Think it's too late to vote for ghosts? "Very funny," June says, squinting to see the approaching enemy. PFHOOM!

A bone bomb lands a hundred feet from us. Skeletons rise, taking on mangled new forms. "Hey, guys, I didn't miss any of the good stuff, did I?" Dirk asks, suddenly appearing at our side, crouching down. Drooler is fast asleep on the sword's hilt—they must have been busy. Dirk peers through the exploded wall. "Oh man, there is no good stuff, huh. Is that a Dozer out there? Be great if we could finish the 'good guys escape' thing before that gets any closer." I pull my camera from my bag and peer through a new high-powered lens—thanks, mall Best Buy! I get a quick glimpse of the skeleton soldiers now marching forward. I pull the lens, zooming in further, twisting until it focuses— And I zero in on Thrull's face. He sits atop a throne of bone and vine, carried by skeletal soldiers. He's looking more arrogant than ever. Like he's already won. He must think a wounded, half-dead Mallusk stranded in a rusted railway graveyard is easy pickings. On any other day, that smugness would grind my gears. But today, it gives me hope. Because the longer he thinks he's got this in the bag, the longer Johnny Steve has to lead everyone to safety.

"Thrull's in the back," I say, returning to cover behind the wall. "But I doubt he stays there." Time to make good on our campaign promises. So what are we thinking? Fight a bunch of bad dudes by Johnny Stephen. and The monsters as much time as possible and don't get dead while doing it. "I especially like Dirk's part of the plan," I say. "That's extra important." Dirk gives Drooler a gentle shake. "Rise and shine, little buddy," he says as he sets Drooler on the edge of the slushie-slime backpack. Drooler's eyes blink open. He is, once again, a faucet of Ultra-Slime.

"It is time," Quint says, "to apply the slime." He dunks both tips of the grabber atop his conjurer's cane, careful to avoid any of its gizmos or tech. June goes next, swirling arrows, dunking sparklers, and dipping who-knows-what-else-is-in-her-fanny-pack in the slime. I summon Alfred, Glurm, and Lefty. "Take a dunk, dudes," I say, and with a swing of the Slicer, their weapons go in. June's walkie-talkie hisses. "Mayor Johnny Steve here! We are on the move!" "Well," I say. "Guess we better get on with it." Dirk slaps me on the back. He's grinning. With Drooler returned, it's like he's fully himself again. More than himself. "Race ya!" Dirk shouts, and with that, we burst outside, onto a battlefield littered with train car husks and rusted steel, crashing headlong into Thrull's army of the dead...

Our two forces collide with a deafening crack. Drooler's Ultra-Slime does everything it's supposed to —and more. "Missed you, buddy!" Dirk says. Drooler just chirps as Dirk's blade flashes, chopping through the surrounding horde. Drooler's Ultra-Slime splashes the enemies, burning away the vile vines that animate them and allow them to fight. "Stay back!" Quint barks, skewering a particularly quick-moving skeleton soldier. Each jab of his cane's Ultra-Slime-slathered tips disables an enemy.

"June! Behind you!" I shout as I jam the Slicer through a leaping skeleton. June wheels. With a flick of her wrist, a deck of Uno cards pops out from Blasty's underside; another flick and the cards are rifled outward, each one trailing Ultra- Slime. This is fun and all guys, but we are way overmatched more than you know. Look at what's approaching. A Dozer is barreling toward us. Its savage hands smack Thrull's skeleton soldiers aside, scattering them by the dozens.