Chapter 12

chapter twelve The next morning, I sit up on my trampoline bed. And I notice it's quiet. I hop-step-shuffle into a pair of jogging pants and hurry across the store to our campaign headquarters. No June, no Dirk, no Quint. Oh man, if I overslept for the definitely-happening-at-three-p.m. town hall, I'm in trouble. The only ones around are my zombies, lounging in a pop-up camping tent. I've fully outfitted them with mall-made weapons: a patio umbrella for Alfred, a rain stick from some organic crystals store for Lefty, and a heavy motorized pogo stick for Glurm. They can't attack without my command, but they can still look intimidating. "Hey, guys," I say. "Where is everyone?" I only get moans. Don't know what else I expected. But I ask again, waving my Slicer this time. In response, Alfred holds up a Post-it note that says "Gone to staff meeting." "Staff meeting?" I say aloud. "I don't remember June scheduling a staff meeting. And where else would it be

第十二章第二天早上，我从蹦床上坐起来。 我注意到这里很安静。我一蹦一跳地穿上一条慢跑裤，匆匆穿过商店来到我们的竞选总部。 没有琼，没有德克，没有昆特。 天啊，如果我在下午三点肯定会发生的事上睡过头了。 市政厅，我有麻烦了。 周围只有我的僵尸，在临时帐篷里闲逛。 我给他们配备了商场制造的全套武器：为阿尔弗雷德准备了一把露台伞，为阿左准备了一根从有机晶体商店买的防雨棍，为格鲁姆准备了一根重型电动弹簧高跷。 没有我的命令，它们无法进攻，但它们仍然看起来很吓人。 “嘿，伙计们，”我说。“人都到哪儿去了？”我只听到呻吟声。 不知道我还期待什么。 但我又问了一遍，这次挥舞着我的切片机。 作为回应，阿尔弗雷德拿出一张便利贴，上面写着“去参加员工会议了”。 “员工会议?”我大声说。 “我不记得琼安排过员工会议。 它还能在哪里呢

but here?" I throw on a June-approved mayoral candidate hoodie and head off in search of my friends. I'm passing by Every Little Thing We Sell Is MAGIK when— Ohhhh. Staff meeting, I think. Right. Quint's eyes light up when he notices me. "Jack!" he says, waving his staff. "Come look!" "Whoa," I say. "What have you done to that thing? It looks like a cyborg shower curtain." The conjurer's cane has been given the full Quint treatment—loaded up with gadgets, thingamajigs, and doodads. But Yursl must have made some

但是在这里?”我穿上一件六月市长候选人批准的连帽衫，去找我的朋友。 我路过我们卖的每一件小东西都是魔法当-哦。 我想是员工会议吧。正确的。 昆特注意到我时眼睛一亮。 “杰克！”他说，挥舞着他的手杖。 “看!”“哇，”我说。 “你对那东西做了什么？” 它看起来像一个半机械人的浴帘。” 魔术师的手杖被赋予了完整的昆特治疗——装满了小玩意、东西和小玩意儿。 但你一定做了一些

modifications, too, because a tiny Nerf basketball now hangs from a net on the side of the cane. Quint flicks a switch, and the foam ball begins to glow, bathing Quint's face in swirling color. Smiling, Quint jumps into an explanation of the conjurer's cane's upgraded features. "If you flick this tiny joystick," Quint explains, "it can recognize radio frequencies within a one-hundredmile radius!" "It is a most unusual form of conjuring..." Yursl croaks mysteriously. "Well, yeah," Quint says. "I suppose science is a bit like conjuring, in a way." "A new sort of conjuring," she says. "We must tread lightly. The wrong mixture of science and spell, and... who knows? Your entire molecular structure could be displaced—transported to another location!" Quint shrugs that off like it's nothing, but I can tell his science-brain is flipping out right now.

也进行了一些修改，因为一个小小的Nerf篮球现在挂在手杖一侧的网子上。 昆特轻按一个开关，泡沫球开始发光，把昆特的脸浸在旋转的颜色里。 昆特微笑着开始解释魔术师手杖的升级功能。 “如果你轻弹这个小操纵杆，”昆特解释说，“它可以识别半径100英里内的无线电频率！”“这是一种最不寻常的魔法……” 你神秘地呱呱叫着。 “嗯，是的，”昆特说。“我想科学在某种程度上有点像变魔术。” “一种新的魔法，”她说。 “我们必须小心行事。科学和咒语的错误结合，还有… 谁知道呢?你的整个分子结构可能会被转移到另一个地方！”昆特不以为然，但我能看出来他的科学头脑现在疯了。

I have a few hours until the town hall, and just one full day remaining until the election. So I throw everything out the window for the afternoon and just try to have fun with it... GOOD TIMES CAMPAIGNING ON THE MALLUSK MONTAGE! When I'm elected, I promise all shirts WILL have five arm holes—- minimum! you bet we can do strawberry Nequik in the water fountains!

离市政厅还有几个小时，离选举只剩下整整一天了。 所以我把下午的一切都扔到窗外，只是试着玩得开心…… 在mallusk蒙太奇上竞选真是愉快！当我当选时，我保证所有的衬衫都要至少有五个臂孔！你打赌我们可以在饮水机里做草莓Nequik ！

No loud noises after eight p.m. is totally reasonable. Of Course you should be able to party all night long! I show up to the town hall right on time and give myself a well-deserved high five. There are thousands of monsters gathered at the Play Area & Rendezvous Plaza. June is waiting, holding out a fresh outfit.

晚上8点以后不要有很大的噪音。 完全合理。你当然可以通宵狂欢了！我准时出现在市政厅，给自己当之无愧的击掌。 有成千上万的怪物聚集在游乐区和集合广场。 琼在等着，手里拿着一套新衣服。

Quick tutor. time to get spiffy. This is your town hall outfit. blue suit, three peak pocket square tie with just the right amount of striped thickness. And this awesome mall pin Jack bro, what have you gotten yourself into? I sigh. I just wanna curl up under a very heavy blanket and read comics for about twenty-seven hours. The end of the world is wearing me down. "June," I say. "There is no way I'm wearing that. They're gonna think I'm a big dork!" "You are a big dork." "Yeah, but I don't need to advertise it!" Before June can protest further, I march toward the stage. I've got an awful feeling in my gut—like I was

快速的导师。是时候打扮一下了。 这是你的市政厅行头。 蓝色西装，三尖口袋方领带，条纹厚度恰到好处。 这个超级棒的商场别针杰克兄弟，你惹上什么麻烦了？ 我叹了口气。我只想蜷缩在厚厚的毯子下，看27个小时的漫画。 世界末日快把我压垮了。 “六月，”我说。“我不可能穿那样的衣服。 他们会认为我是个大笨蛋！”“你真是个大笨蛋。” “是的，但我不需要宣传它！”在琼能进一步抗议之前，我走向舞台。 我有种不祥的预感，就像我曾经