Chapter 9

chapter nine The road trip is in full swing. Open road! Adventure! Headed for the horizon! Quint pulls out a book called Road Trip Games for Families. "Where'd you get that?" I ask. "I checked it out of the library before we left." Of course Quint checked it out. He'll probably even pay the late fees. "It says here, the best way to make a long trip fast and enjoyable is to keep your friends and family entertained and laughing. Now, there are some very exciting things in here. Best of all—it's fun for all ages! What should we play first?" "Hmm," June says. "How about we play... SOME MUSIC. Crank it up to eleven!" Quint grumbles—and plays Yahtzee alone for the next hour. Each time he yells "YAHTZEE!" I nearly wet myself.

公路旅行正如火如荼地进行着。 开放的路!冒险!飞向地平线！昆特拿出一本名为《家庭公路旅行游戏》的书。 “你从哪儿弄来的？”我问。 “我们离开之前，我从图书馆借了这本书。” 昆特当然查过了。 他可能还会付滞纳金。 “这里说，让长途旅行又快又愉快的最好方法就是让你的朋友和家人开心大笑。 现在，这里有一些非常令人兴奋的东西。 最重要的是，它是所有年龄段的乐趣！我们应该先玩什么？”“嗯，”琼说。 “我们玩……一些音乐。 把它调到11 !”昆特满腹牢骚，独自玩了一个小时的快艇骰子。 每次他喊“YAHTZEE!”我差点尿了。

We play a few rounds of Truth or Dare. I dare Quint to lose a game of Yahtzee... to himself. Dirk chooses Truth, and June asks what got him started on the whole gardening thing. "It was my dad. He always said if you know how to grow your own food, you're set for life," Dirk says. "Although, he mostly just ate microwave burritos...." "Speaking of food and survival and such," I say, "is anyone getting hungry? Because that sign there says 'Super-sized Rest Stop: Next Exit.'" "OK, OK," Dirk says, and I try to hide a smile. With Dirk's vegetable garden gone, we're gonna do so much gas station fine dining....

我们玩几轮真心话大冒险。 我敢打赌昆特会输掉一场快艇骰子游戏。 自言自语。德克选择了真理，琼问他是什么让他开始从事园艺工作的。 “是我爸爸。他总是说，如果你知道如何种植自己的食物，你就会为生活做好准备，”德克说。 “虽然，他大部分时间只吃微波卷饼....” “说到食物和生存之类的，”我说，“有人饿了吗？ 因为那个牌子上写着“超大休息站：下一个出口”。“好吧，好吧，”德克说，我试着掩饰自己的笑容。 德克的菜园没了，我们要在加油站吃很多大餐....

On the way out, I grab up a little clip-on air freshener. Big Mama is quickly becoming a toxic-waste site. I grabbed Waffle Sundae Syrup Blast. But believe it or not, nobody likes the smell! "I didn't know it was possible," June says. "But Big Mama is starting to stink worse than the tree house ever did."

出门的时候，我拿起一个夹式空气清新剂。 “大妈”正迅速变成一个有毒废料场。 我拿了华夫圣代糖浆大爆炸。 但不管你信不信，没人喜欢这种味道！“我不知道这是可能的，”琼说。 “但是大妈妈开始比树屋更臭了。”

The stench is so bad that we agree to spend one night outside of Big Mama. We stop at a motel that advertises an "Olympic-sized swimming pool." It's definitely not "Olympic-sized"—but that's the least of the pool's problems.... So, at the next gas station, I pick up an air freshener that I'm sure we'll all agree on: Deep- Dish Pizza. But once again, nobody likes my choice in manufactured scents. My new air

臭气熏天，我们同意在“大妈妈”外面住一晚。 我们在一家汽车旅馆停了下来，汽车旅馆的广告上写着“奥林匹克大小的游泳池”。 它绝对不是“奥运会规模”——但这是游泳池最不重要的问题.... 所以，在下一个加油站，我买了一种空气清新剂，我相信我们都会同意：深盘披萨。 但再一次，没人喜欢我对人造气味的选择。 我的新空气

freshener has been hanging from the rearview mirror for less than two minutes when Dirk flings it out the window. "Hey!" I cry. "I was still smelling that!" I peek my head out and watch the air freshener flap sadly in the wind. It finally flutters to the ground, then a strange, evil- looking rhino monster trots out onto the road, sniffs the air freshener, and promptly keels over. "Everyone's a critic," I mutter.— "Guys, important question," June says. "Where are all the cows?? We've been driving for days and we've seen zero cows! I wanna yell 'moo' at a cow. Is that so much to ask? Like, is it even a road trip if you don't get to yell 'moo' at a cow?" Two days later, June is in luck. We spot a cow grazing in an old Box Factory parking lot. June excitedly lowers the window, does a little "ahem" cough in preparation, then unleashes an impressively powerful "MOOOOOOOO!"

当德克把清新剂扔出窗外时，它还挂在后视镜上不到两分钟。 “嘿!”我哭了。“我还在闻呢！”我探出头来，看着空气清新剂在风中悲伤地飘动。 它终于飘到地上，然后一只奇怪的、看起来很邪恶的犀牛怪物跑到路上，闻了闻空气清新剂，很快就倒下了。 “每个人都是批评家，”我嘟囔着。-“伙计们，重要的问题，”琼说。 “奶牛都到哪儿去了？”我们已经开了好几天的车了，却没有看到一头牛！我想对着奶牛喊“哞”。 这要求太多了吗？就像，如果你不能对着一头牛大喊‘哞’，这还算是公路旅行吗？”两天后，琼运气好。 我们发现一头牛在旧盒子工厂的停车场吃草。 琼兴奋地把窗户拉低，做了一点“咳咳”的准备，然后发出一声令人印象深刻的有力的“哞——哞！”

Not a mco-cow not a moo-cow DRIVE DRIVE, DRIVE, But unscheduled (and often horrifying) stops are half the fun of a road trip, right? Even if you almost die? I mean, that's what all the best road trip movies have taught me. And that's exactly what I'm thinking when we stop to take pictures in front of giant hollow stucco dinosaurs. I slap some touristy gear on

开车，开车，但计划外的（通常是可怕的）停留是自驾游乐趣的一半，对吧？ 即使你快死了？我是说，这是所有最棒的自驾游电影教给我的。 当我们停下来在巨大的空心灰泥恐龙前拍照时，我就是这么想的。 我穿上了一些旅游装备