Chapter 3

chapter three OK, so I'm officially calling that the First Battle of the Skeletons, 'cause it sounds epic and historic. And during that epic and historic battle, Alfred, Lefty, and Glurm proved themselves the zombies most worthy of joining my ZOMBIE SQUAD. And right now, they're the only ones keeping me company, because Quint, Dirk, and June went MIA immediately after our skeleton brawl. Quint and Dirk left to work on "Project Day-Glo," though they won't spill the beans on what it is. And—not gonna lie—that's super frustrating for a person like me, who likes to know what his buddies are doing at all times because that's the type of thing buddies should know! And June ran off with Globlet and Biggun to fortify the town's defenses, now that we know Thrull's soldiers are within striking distance.

Which leaves me and my zombies for a skeleton battle debrief. Sure, we were victorious, but I gotta be sure they know who's in charge. Every battle is a battle of inches. An ear-shattering SHRIEK interrupts my dramatic speech. I shove my head out the window: it's Phyllis, the pelican-monster who

keeps watch on the town wall. This is a big deal: a Phyllis shriek is the signal that someone —or something—is approaching town. "Uhh—talk amongst yourselves, zombie buds!" I say, and I send them shambling away.— Moments later, I'm at the edge of the Town Square, squeezing my way through the gathering monster crowd. I find June up front, peering through binoculars. Globlet is perched on her shoulder. "What is it?" I ask excitedly. "Bad guys? Good guys? Average guys?" June lowers the binoculars—and I see that her eyes are wet with joy. "It's Skaelka!" she says. "She better have brought me a snow globe," Globlet chirps. "She promised!" I grin. Skaelka's return is a huge relief. We've all been on edge since she ventured out in search of information about the Outpost. Skaelka's riding her Carapace like a horse down Main Street. She bobs and sways in the

car's saddle seat. A hood covers her head. Her ax glints in the bright afternoon sun. The Carapace scuttles slowly down the road, claws stabbing the ground awkwardly, like one of those dogs wearing shoes. I realize that the Carapace is hurt. Its outer shell—the car—must have gotten torn off in battle, and one broken cannon trails limply off the back of its body. "Looks like they saw some action out there," I say grimly.

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"YOU'RE BACK!" June shouts as Skaelka brings the Carapace to a stop. Skaelka's barely out of the saddle and June's launching a full-blown interrogation. "Where have you been?? What did you find out?? What took you so long?" "And did you find an Arbys?!" Globlet demands. "Was it true? DID they have the meats?" Skaelka's silent. She pats the Carapace, and the creature hobbles off toward its sleeping hole, where it'll nap until needed again. Skaelka removes her hood—and that's when I see that her Carapace isn't the only one with battle scars. Her skin is horribly sun-beaten and marked with cuts and raw bruises. Her armor is dented, her sash is torn, and her lucky Dozer- whacking cudgel is gunk-splattered. "Yeep," Globlet says. "You look crummy." Normally, Skaelka would punt Globlet for a crack like that. But not now. I see none of that usual frenetic Skaelka energy we've come to know and love and—on occasion—fear.