Chapter 21

chapter twenty-one Big Mama is dead. And for some dumb reason, my brain can't stop imagining us holding a Big Mama funeral. I'd say some pretty moving stuff, for sure— have everyone reaching for their handkerchiefs.... for five and a half adventures? She was a wonderful, trusty ride. I still remember the first time I almost ran over Dirk

第二十一章大妈妈死了。 出于某种愚蠢的原因，我的脑子里一直在想象我们要举办一个大妈的葬礼。 我想说一些非常感人的东西，肯定会让每个人都伸手去拿手帕.... 五次半的冒险？ 她是一辆很棒、值得信赖的车。 我还记得第一次差点碾过德克的情景

I laugh softly to myself—thinking about a funeral for a truck. But then I'm thinking about Bardle. And realizing the loss of Big Mama is our second loss in way too short a time. As the skeletons and Death Fossil continue to pound away at the walls, Quint and June make their way toward the hanging tarps. I hop up on Big Mama's hood and lie back. Hands behind my head, I look up at the night sky through the glass dome. Dirk joins me. "It's a pretty moon tonight," I say. Then, solemnly: "You think we'll live to see it again?" Dirk's silent. Until suddenly, he sits up. "Wait a sec..." he starts. "That's no moon." "Huh?" I ask. Dirk doesn't respond—he's busy scrambling up onto Big Mama's roof. "Hey, don't go being all Tomb Raider–y without me!" I say, following him. Behind us, I hear Quint say something like, "Hey, June—have a look at this...." I don't look back to see what they're doing— I'm way too curious about Dirk's "that's no moon" comment. The little bit of extra height

我轻声地对自己笑着——想着一辆卡车的葬礼。 但我又想到了巴德尔。 意识到失去大妈妈是我们在短时间内第二次失去亲人。 当骷髅和死亡化石继续敲打墙壁时，昆特和琼向悬挂的防水布走去。 我跳上大妈妈的兜帽，躺下。 我把手放在脑后，透过玻璃罩仰望夜空。 德克加入了我。“今晚的月亮真美，”我说。 然后，严肃地说：“你认为我们还能活着再看到一次吗？”德克的沉默。 直到突然，他坐了起来。 “等一下……”他说。 “那不是月亮。”“嗯?”我问。 德克没有回应——他正忙着爬上“大妈妈”的屋顶。 “嘿，别把我丢在古墓丽影里！”我说，跟着他。 在我们身后，我听到昆特说：“嘿，琼，看看这个....。” 我不会回头看他们在做什么——我对德克的“那不是月亮”的评论太好奇了。 那一点额外的高度

makes all the difference: I squint, and—wow. Dirk's right. It's not the moon. It's something else entirely. It's something good. Something right. Something that feels like hope, like a chance. "It's the World's Largest Donut Hole!" I exclaim. "What Werbert called 'The Big Round Sweet Treat'!"

这就完全不同了：我斜眼一看，哇。 德克是对的。这不是月亮。 这完全是另一回事。 这是件好事。正确的事情。 感觉像是希望，像是机会。 “这是世界上最大的甜甜圈洞！”我惊叫。 “就是Werbert所说的‘又大又圆的甜食’！”

"You bet it is!" Dirk says. "And it's close! So much closer than I thought!" Suddenly, Dirk is laughing. He's hysterical. Laughing so hard he has to sit down. "You finally losing it, buddy?" I ask. "What's so funny?" "The Donut Hole," he says. "It's SO dumb. A plastic ball on a stick. But... I never would

“当然是！”德克说。 “很近了！”比我想象的要近得多！”突然，德克笑了。 他是歇斯底里的。笑得他不得不坐下。 “你终于失去理智了吗，伙计？”我问。 “什么事这么好笑？”“甜甜圈洞，”他说。 “这太蠢了。一根棍子上的塑料球。 但是…我永远不会

have gotten to see it without you guys...." "That's not true," I say. "You and your dad would have gone. Eventually." Dirk shakes his head. The look on his face gives me déjà vu; it reminds me of when I found him in the tree house, after he was bitten by Evie's zombie. "What is it, dude?" I ask. "We wouldn't have gone," he says finally. "He was never going to take me. It was just another lie. Empty promise. Like all the others. Y'know?" I don't respond. Because I don't "know"— not really. And what Dirk's saying is too big and too heavy for me to just agree. So I stay silent. Dirk continues. "He didn't test poison for the army. He wasn't the Big Dagger on Universal Warriors—not really. He was a reserve; got on TV one time. He wasn't on the Pittsburgh Steelers practice squad. He didn't catch a great white shark with a speargun two different times. All lies. And I always knew they were lies." "I don't understand," I say. "If you knew—"

没有你们也能看到它....” “那不是真的，”我说。“你和你爸爸早就走了。 最后。”德克摇了摇头。 他脸上的表情让我感到沮丧。这让我想起我在树屋找到他的时候，他被伊薇的僵尸咬了。 “这是什么，伙计？”我问。 “我们不会去的，”他最后说。 “他从来没打算带我去。 那只是另一个谎言。空洞的承诺。 和其他人一样。你知道吗?”我没有回应。 因为我不“知道”——不太清楚。 德克说的话对我来说太大太沉重了，我无法同意。 所以我保持沉默。德克还在继续。 “他没有为军队测试毒药。 他不是《宇宙勇士》里的大匕首——不是真的。 他是个沉默寡言的人；有一次上了电视 他不是匹兹堡钢人队的训练队员。 他没有两次用鱼叉枪抓到大白鲨。 所有的谎言。我一直都知道那是谎言。” “我不明白，”我说。 “如果你知道——”

"'Cause I wanted to believe them—because if he wasn't lying about that, then maybe he wasn't lying about a million other things. Like, well, doing our road trip someday." I nod. Even though I never had a real dad, I get what Dirk's saying. And all this talk of dads and donut holes has me remembering Bardle. I think Dirk can tell. "I wish your dad could have seen it," I say. Dirk lightly kicks my sneaker. "Bardle, too." "Ah-ahem!" June fake coughs. Poorly. Dirk and I look up. June's next to Quint, who's peeking out from under a tarp that covers the entrance to another hall. "Uh, did you hear all of that?" Dirk asks. "Indeed," Quint says. "And we love you, ya big lug head," June adds. Dirk smiles. It's sweet but awkward—like eating a Charleston Chew in the dentist's chair. Quint, being Quint, ends the silence. "Anyone want to see a few hundred ancient swords?" "Um, yes, please," I say, leaping down from

“因为我想相信他们——因为如果他没有在这件事上撒谎，那么也许他在其他很多事情上都没有撒谎。 就像，嗯，有一天我们的公路旅行。” 我点头。尽管我从未有过真正的父亲，但我明白德克的意思。 这些关于爸爸和甜甜圈的话题让我想起了巴德尔。 我想德克能看出来。“我真希望你爸爸能看到，”我说。 德克轻轻地踢了我的球鞋。 “Bardle。”“Ah-ahem !”六月假咳嗽。 贫穷地。德克和我抬起头。 琼在昆特旁边，昆特正从另一个大厅入口的篷布下面往外偷看。 “呃，你都听到了吗？”德克问道。 “的确，”昆特说。“我们爱你，你这个大笨蛋，”琼补充道。 德克的笑容。这很甜蜜，但也很尴尬——就像在牙医的椅子上吃查尔斯顿口香糖一样。 昆特，作为昆特，打破了沉默。 “有人想看几百把古剑吗？”“嗯，是的，谢谢。”我说着，从