Chapter 16

chapter sixteen We follow the guard down a makeshift hallway of arcade games. Finally, we're face-to-face with a slimy hulk of a monster. In front of him is a strange sort of table, which vaguely resembles a pile of Jell-O. There are shelves all over his lair, filled with all sorts of bizarre odds and ends. "Neat collection," Quint says. This guy is definitely Ry.k. He has an aura of danger and power and violence about him. Partly because he's huge and horrible looking—partly because of what he's doing to the softball-sized rodent furball in his hands.

HOW DARE YOU DISTURB ME? DURING BRUNCH The guard whispers something in Ry.k's ear. He turns toward us with menacing eyes. "You have brought me something?" "Y-yes, Your, um... Most Shady One," June says. She plops Skaelka's tail spike down. Ry.k examines it. "It's for your, um, collection thing," June says. "We just need to speak with you...."

He thinks it over for a second. Then he places the spike on a shelf behind him. "You have until I finish my meal." Nobody speaks. All of us are too overwhelmed, then— PLINK! Ry.k plucks a hair, then slurps it down. It's like watching a baby eat spaghetti. "Not many hairs left," Ry.k says. "I'd hurry, if I were you." "We're trying to find Thrull's Tower," June says quickly. Ry.k casually plucks and swallows another hair. "And why do you want this information?" "None of your beeswax," I answer. "IT IS MY BEESWAX!" he roars. His voice booms so loudly that we all flinch. "Any beeswax in this Outpost is Ry.k's beeswax! Look around you. Do you see beeswax? If you do, it is beeswax that belongs to me. Now answer—for what reason do you seek such information?" "Because Thrull's using the Tower to bring .e...c. to this dimension," June says. I see her

wipe sweat from her palms onto her jeans. ".e...c. is gonna destroy everything." "So if you could just tell us where it is, it'd be great," I chime in. "If you have an address—or even a general neighborhood. Cross streets? Closest 7-Eleven. Then we'll be on our way—" PLINK! PLINK! Two more hairs are plucked and slurped down. After a moment, Ry.k says, "Your way... You will neither be on your way... nor will you get your way. Thrull is an ally. I will not divulge his location—certainly not to help humans." "But Thrull's going to bring .e...c. here!" June says. "And .e...c. only wants to destroy this world—and rule over the ashes! If Thrull completes the Tower, you'll lose everything!" I take a slow, heavy step forward. Very dramatically, I say perhaps the most ridiculous thing I've ever said. "The kingdom of Chaz and Slammers will fall...." For a moment, Ry.k's monstrous smile wavers. "You make a compelling argument," he finally admits. June breathes a small sigh of relief. We all

do. "But... you have given me nothing in return for this information," Ry.k says. He squeezes the rodent furball, reaches down, gathers the rest of its hairs in his long fingers, and then—with one loud, aggressive tug—rips them out. He jams the fat, hairy handful into his mouth, then continues, not bothering to swallow. "And it looks like your time is up. The answer is no." Ry.k motions to the beaked guard behind us. "Feed the humans to the Grizkurl. Whole, or in pieces—I really don't care." "Hey!" I yell. "This is bunk! We did give you something—that super-cool tail spike!" Ry.k laughs. A matted rodent hair dangles from his bottom lip, and it jumps as he speaks. "That was a gift for the privilege of speaking with me. Nothing more. Good-bye." The guard lifts her huge sword. "WAIT!" I shout. Ry.k's lair goes silent. Everyone is waiting to see what I've got. The problem is, I don't

actually got anything. I quickly throw my arms around my buddies and turn. "OK, huddle up," I whisper. "What's the plan?" "We don't know!" Dirk barks. "You're the one who shouted 'wait' like you had an idea!" "Right, right," I say. "OK, real quick, just blue skyin' here. Three ideas..." run away.