Chapter 10

chapter ten Road trips are the worst Complaining about the road trip is all part of the classic road trip experience. You two are weird. I AM TRYING TO DRIVE. OK, we're starting to get a little moody. The cause of the present moodiness isn't, like, June monopolizing the radio or Quint hogging all of Dirk's legroom.

自驾游是最糟糕的抱怨自驾游是经典的自驾游经历的一部分。 你们俩真奇怪。我在试着开车。 好吧，我们开始有点情绪化了。 目前情绪低落的原因并不是琼霸占了收音机，也不是昆特霸占了德克所有的腿部空间。

It's a bathroom issue—the issue being, it's now nearly impossible to stop to go to the bathroom. Thrull's influence is everywhere: vines slither, the air is foul, and sometimes we'll speed past a monster that emits that old distinct odor: the stench of evil. All that makes every stop more dangerous than the last... and every bathroom break typhoon-level treacherous. To help us brave on, I brought back my Feats of Apocalyptic Success—but updated! I call 'em— Feats of Apocalyptic (ROAD TRIP TOILET) Success It makes going to the bathroom a game. And games make us brave, so pretty soon we're all completing Feats right and left.

这是厕所的问题——问题是，现在几乎不可能停下来去厕所。 Thrull的影响无处不在：藤蔓滑动，空气污浊，有时我们会超速经过一个散发着古老独特气味的怪物：邪恶的恶臭。 这一切使得每一站都比上一站更危险…… 每次上厕所都是台风级别的危险。 为了帮助我们勇敢地前进，我带回了我的《启示录成功的壮举》——但是更新了！我把它们叫做——《启示录》（公路旅行厕所）成功的壮举它使上厕所成为一种游戏。 游戏让我们变得勇敢，所以我们很快就会完成各种各样的壮举。

FEAT: Daredevil Go in total darkness. FEAT: Never Bashful Complete a bathroom break with a zombie in close proximity. FEAT: Toilet Seat Sweeper Lift ninety-nine rest stop toilet seats without finding anything awful.

特技：夜魔侠在黑暗中行走。 壮举：绝不害羞在靠近僵尸的情况下完成一次上厕所。 壮举：马桶座圈清扫器举起99个休息站的马桶座圈，没有发现任何糟糕的东西。

I've only got, like, seven more toilet seats to lift when— scream But all the added danger means we're already on edge as we approach the next apocalyptic road trip attraction. Dirk and his dad had a pamphlet for every attraction they planned to see. He reads them aloud, getting us all jazzed up on the way to each one.

我只剩下七个马桶盖了，等我尖叫的时候但所有这些额外的危险意味着我们已经很紧张了就在我们接近下一个末日自驾游景点的时候。 德克和他的父亲准备了一本小册子，介绍他们计划参观的每一个景点。 他大声朗读，让我们每个人在去的路上都兴奋起来。

"Supposedly, this place houses the corpse of a mythical monster that was found in a nearby mine," Dirk starts telling us, once we're a mile away. "It's got, like, huge oval eyes and fingers the size of bread sticks and is all encased in a glass tomb or something!" The attraction sits on the side of an endless stretch of highway. There's no real town: just a single intersection, with a gas station, a diner, a general store, and our destination: the Entity on Interstate 8. But as we approach, it's clear that something's not right. "I'm not sure we should stop..." Quint says, slowing Big Mama to a halt in the middle of the highway. "Hate to say it," June says. "But I might agree." "Bah, c'mon," Dirk says, stepping out of the truck. "We can handle it!" But then we hear the noise: it's a spine- chilling slurping, gnawing, grinding.

“据说，这个地方藏着一个神秘的怪物的尸体，它是在附近的一个矿井里发现的，”我们走了一英里后，德克开始告诉我们。 “它有巨大的椭圆形眼睛和面包棒大小的手指，而且都被包裹在玻璃坟墓之类的地方！”这个景点坐落在一条绵延不绝的高速公路边上。 这里没有真正的城镇：只有一个十字路口，有加油站、餐馆、杂货店和我们的目的地：8号州际公路上的实体。 但当我们接近的时候，很明显有些事情是不对的。 “我不确定我们是否应该停下来……” 昆特说，让“大妈妈”停在高速公路中间。 “我不想这么说，”琼说。 “但我可能会同意。”“呸，来吧，”德克说着，走下了卡车。 “我们能搞定！”但接着我们听到了声音：那是令人脊背发冷的咀嚼声、咀嚼声和磨碎声。

"This all just feels... wrong," June says. "It's like the vines are eating this tiny town," I say in horrified disbelief. Dirk nods. He's coming around. "They're swallowing this whole place." "Turning it inside out," Quint notes. The town's only intersection is now a monstrous sinkhole—and that's the center of the monstrous vine infestation. Thousands of dripping tendrils snake out from its depths, writhing and wriggling. It reminds me of a biology class, where we learned about veins, and how they all carry blood to the heart. That's what this is like. Vines like veins, devouring the town, carrying raw material into the sinkhole.

“这一切感觉……错了，”琼说。 “就像藤蔓在吞噬这个小镇，”我惊恐地说，难以置信。 德克点点头。他正在回心转意。 “他们正在吞噬整个地方。” 昆特指出：“把它从里到外翻过来。 这个小镇唯一的十字路口现在是一个巨大的天坑——这是可怕的葡萄藤侵扰的中心。 成千上万滴着水的卷须从它的深处蜿蜒而出，扭动着。 这让我想起了生物课，我们在那里学习了静脉，以及它们是如何将血液输送到心脏的。 这就是它的样子。藤蔓像静脉一样吞噬着小镇，把原料带到天坑里。