Chapter 4

chapter four I'm pretty fast. Not bragging, just saying. Every grade always has "the fast kid." I was never "the fast kid" but I was "a fast kid." I used to be able to run from my house to the school bus stop, three blocks away, in ninety-nine seconds. The bus left at 7:12 a.m., and my dad always insisted I leave the house at 7:00 a.m. sharp. For no reason! I could have left at 7:10 and still made it to the bus stop with thirty- two seconds to spare! More, if the driver stopped off for a chocolate chunk muffin (which he usually did)! And do you have any idea just how much stuff I could get done between 7:00 and 7:10? Give me ten minutes and I'll write you a detailed list.

But, you know what? None of that speed matters when you are— STUCK INSIDE A DOOM CART BEING DRAGGED BEHIND A GIANT OGRE. If I could get off, I could run. But I can't get off because the Rifter's chain has turned this DoomKart into a tiny version of a space shuttle re-entering Earth's atmosphere. Bits and pieces flying off, sparking, screeching,

metal nearly melting. And I'm just stuck here along for the ride. I try to pay attention to where we are, where we're going, but it's all a blurry jumble of scenery. Suddenly— SHRIEEEK! The creature's monstrous howl. The Rifters must be closing in. And then, suddenly, a wooden shed ahead. The Ogre is stomping through an overgrown backyard. "YIKES!" I cry out, lifting the shield, just as— SMASH!

The shed does serious damage. The steering wheel pops up and nearly takes off my left ear. My fancy new shield is busted up. My spear, slung over my back, snaps in half. But it's not all bad. Looking down I see that— "I'M FREE!" I shout. The chain is now hooked to the pedal—not my foot! Sure, I'm still inside a quickly disintegrating DoomKart—but at the very least, I'm not trapped.

Now I just need a way off this thing. I need something I can jump to—something that will break my fall without, y'know, breaking me. Like a haystack. Or a bouncy castle. Or the world's most epic pillow fort. Unfortunately, within my immediate range of vision, I see no haystacks, no bouncy castles, and no epic pillow forts. But—hmm—I do spot something like a mound of oversized M&Ms. Globes of color: oranges and blues and faded greens. I realize it's better than any bouncy pillow haystack fort: "A ball pit!" Okay, ya germy pool of plastic, I think. Here I come! And with that, I hurl myself from the DoomKart...

DARING BOOMKART ESCAPE. This was a bad idea. I land in a heap and sink into the ball pit. I keep my eyes screwed shut, listening to the sound of the Ogres' trampling feet fading into the distance. My elbows and knees are scraped, my teeth seem to be vibrating, and I'm mostly positive I swallowed a bug... possibly a bird. But that's okay, 'cause.... "I'M ALIVE!" I cry out. "Alive! Alive and... I have no idea where I am!"