Chapter 15

chapter fifteen We fall. And fall. And then— WHAM! We hit the ambulance like four tiny comets, crashing to earth. Johnny Steve rolls onto Neon, then I crash into the pair of them, and Globlet flops onto my face. I shake the cobwebs loose. Looking up, I see a towering Blooper Burger sign. It's rocking back and forth as the monster rises. The ambulance is spinning like an inner tube in a wave pool. The sloshing, rolling water grows choppier. The massive monster fully emerges, turning toward us. And I gasp, because—well...

第十五章我们倒下了。和秋天。 然后——砰！我们像四颗小彗星一样撞上了救护车，撞向了地球。 约翰尼·史蒂夫滚到霓虹身上，然后我撞到他们俩身上，Globlet扑倒在我脸上。 我把蜘蛛网抖松。 抬头一看，我看到了一个高耸的Blooper Burger标志。 当怪物升起时，它来回摇晃。 救护车像波浪池里的内胎一样旋转着。 晃动翻滚的水面变得更加波涛汹涌。 巨大的怪物完全出现了，转向我们。 我倒吸了一口气，因为……

"His face! He's cute!" I blurt out. "Ermahgerd, SO cute!" Globlet adds. -Big Ol' Wet Cutie! looks like a giant piglet. Ginormous stubby legs. Tiny little cute claws. I hear Johnny Steve staggering to his feet. Neon's talons pierce the ambulance hood,

“他的脸!他很可爱!”我脱口而出。 “Ermahgerd，太可爱了！”Globlet补充道。 -大可爱！看起来像一只巨大的小猪。 又粗又大的腿。可爱的小爪子。 我听到约翰尼·史蒂夫摇摇晃晃地站了起来。 霓虹的魔爪刺穿了救护车的引擎盖，

gripping it tight. My back is radiating pain. "This is all a big giant mess," I say. "But I kinda wanna snuggle that cutie. Is that so wrong?" "Oh yes," Johnny Steve says. "That is so wrong. That is a Ploonk. Ploonks don't snuggle." Before I can ask why—I see why. It happens lightning fast—in an instant, the Ploonk's flesh rearranges itself! Bones bend, and its face is splitting, changing, and opening like the petals of some horrible, hideous flower. Its huggable, pig-faced snout is gone— replaced by a face only a mother could love. And even then, that would have to be one hugely big-hearted mama. The Ploonk's maw opens wide, and a tornado of tremendous, screaming air is unleashed—

紧紧抓住它。我的背像放射一样疼。 “这是一个巨大的混乱，”我说。 “但我有点想抱抱那个小可爱。 这有那么错吗？”“哦，是的，”约翰尼·史蒂夫说。 “这是大错特错。那是一个Ploonk。 公鸡不会依偎在一起。”在我问为什么之前，我知道为什么了。 它发生得快如闪电——在一瞬间，普罗克的肉体重新排列了自己！它的骨头弯曲了，它的脸裂开了，变化了，像某种可怕的、可怕的花的花瓣一样开放了。 它那可爱的猪脸鼻子不见了，取而代之的是一张只有母亲才会喜欢的脸。 即便如此，那也得是一个心胸宽广的妈妈。 扁龙的大嘴张开了，一股巨大的、尖叫的空气旋涡被释放了出来

"HANG ON!" I shout. A wave roils, the ambulance drifts back, and I do a near-backward tumble. Johnny Steve breaks my fall, seconds before I go toppling into the water. I pin him, he catches me, Globlet cheers. Teamwork! The Ploonk's short, plump arms extend outward. With slow, deliberate force—the monster slaps the water and— SMACK!

“等等!”我喊。一个波浪翻滚着，救护车向后漂去，我几乎向后翻滚。 约翰尼·史蒂夫在我落水前几秒帮我撑住。 我压住他，他抓住我，Globlet欢呼。 团队合作!扁龙又短又肥的手臂向外伸展。 怪物慢慢地、从容地拍打着水面，啪！

Two rolling waves splash outward, and the ambulance nearly flips. Johnny Steve is grabbing Globlet by the back like a knuckleball. Neon is on his belly, hugging the roof. "What a grump," Globlet whispers. "Maybe it's over," I say. "Maybe it just wanted to show off its ability to switch from cute piggy face to horrible nightmare fuel! And now—" I stop yapping. I see six purple dots on the Ploonk's hide, dripping purple ooze. Monster blood. From where Neon stuck his talons. To quote Jack Sullivan, fisticuffs. "Gang, we gotta get outta here NOW!" I say, whirling around. But we can't. Because Neon is halfway in the water! He slides and his claws scrape against the sopping wet ambulance. There's a spark of color as—

两个滚滚的波浪向外飞溅，救护车几乎翻了起来。 约翰尼·史蒂夫像抓球一样抓着环球球的背。 霓虹在他的肚子上，抱着屋顶。 “真是个坏脾气。”环球球低声说。 “也许结束了，”我说。“也许它只是想炫耀自己从可爱的猪脸变成可怕的噩梦燃料的能力！”现在——”我停止了咆哮。 我看到普洛克的皮上有六个紫色的点，滴着紫色的液体。 怪物的血。从霓虹伸出爪子的地方。 引用杰克·苏利文的话，格斗。 “伙计们，我们得马上离开这里！”我说，旋转着。 但是我们不能。因为氖气一半在水里！他滑倒了，爪子蹭着湿漉漉的救护车。 有一点颜色的火花

SPLOOSH! Neon slips into the water. "Neon, get back up here!" I shout. "No time for messing around! That giant monster is—" "Bad," Johnny Steve says. "This is all very bad. Baby Wretches can't swim." It takes me a moment to process what Johnny Steve just said. And when I do, I spin around. WHAT, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IN EARLIER? When NEON WAS PRANCING AND JUMPING AND FAKE FLYING, you know, I was surprised by how little you seem to care. Aren't all humans aware of the swimming abilities of ringed wretches? Nope, June doesn't know squat

SPLOOSH !氖气滑入水中。 “霓虹灯，快上来！”我喊。 “没时间胡闹了！”那个巨大的怪物是——”“坏，”约翰尼·史蒂夫说。 “这太糟糕了。小坏蛋不会游泳。” 我花了一点时间来理解约翰尼·史蒂夫刚才说的话。 当我这样做的时候，我就会旋转。 怎么，你怎么不早点告诉我？ 当霓虹蹦蹦跳跳、假飞的时候，你知道，我很惊讶你似乎一点也不在乎。 难道不是所有的人类都知道带环的可怜虫的游泳能力吗？ 不，琼什么都不知道