Chapter 9

chapter nine MISSION OPERATION. CHEER UP, DIRK BEGINS. I'm not sure if yelling it in his ears like that is good for his like mood, "Right, sorry," June says quickly. "I got excited."

第九章任务操作。 振作起来，德克说。我不确定对着他的耳朵大喊大叫是否对他的情绪有好处。“好吧，对不起，”琼很快地说。 “我很兴奋。”

Dirk groans and flips over onto his side. "Dudes, I don't need cheering up." "You're sleeping on a trampoline," June says. "You cannot be bummed out on a trampoline," I say. "Physically impossible." June shrugs. "Yet here he is. Bummed out. On a trampoline." "Dudes, be quiet and leave me alone," Dirk grumbles. "I got these big headphones on 'cause I don't want to hear the outside world. Get me?" I nod. "I get you, but TOO BAD, YOU'RE COMING WITH US! June and I planned a whole day of cheering-up activities. You will never know happiness, Dirk, like the happiness you will know THIS DAY! June, what is the first cheer-up activity?" June looks at our list—and frowns. "Have fun on the trampoline." "Oh. Crud. Well... Crud." We're off to a lousy start. And it only gets lousier....

德克呻吟了一声，翻了个身。 “伙计们，我不需要打气。” “你睡在蹦床上，”琼说。 “你不能在蹦床上被闷死，”我说。 “物理上不可能的。”6月耸了耸肩。 “可是他来了。沮丧了。 在蹦床上。”“伙计们，安静点，别烦我。”德克抱怨道。 “我戴上了大耳机，因为我不想听到外面的世界。 得到我?”我点头。“我明白你的意思，但太糟糕了，你得跟我们一起走！”我和琼计划了一整天的振奋活动。 德克，你永远也体会不到像今天这样的幸福！六月，第一个加油活动是什么？”琼看了看我们的单子，皱起了眉头。 “在蹦床上玩得开心。” “哦。Crud。嗯…Crud。”我们有一个糟糕的开始。 它只会变得更糟....

We try everything: bad-movie marathon, chili cook-off, garlic knot juggling, loogiespitting contest, and even a mosh pit dance party. After our nineteenth failed cheer-up-Dirk attempt, June says, "Y'know—maybe it's not cheering up Dirk needs. Maybe he's just gotta, like, relax." "Ooh, like a massage?" I suggest. "That's what people on TV do when they need to relax." So, we drag Dirk to the spa where all the moms and dads used to go before Valentine's Day to get last-minute gift certificates, and, well...

我们什么都试：烂电影马拉松、辣椒烹饪大赛、大蒜结杂耍、吐槽比赛，甚至是一个舞坑派对。 在我们第十九次鼓舞德克失败后，琼说：“你知道，也许这不是德克需要的鼓舞。 也许他只是想放松一下。” “哦，就像按摩一样？”我建议。 “电视上的人需要放松的时候就会这么做。” 所以，我们把德克拖到情人节前所有爸爸妈妈都会去的水疗中心，去买最后一分钟的礼券，然后……

WH WH WH. THIS IS NOT RELAXING. Another failure. A massage meltdown. "June," I say. "If we're gonna do this, we need to go to the place where I do my best thinking!" "Not following you to the toilet," she says. "Not the toilet," I say as I walk toward Big Mama. "I do my best reading on the toilet. But my best thinking requires an entirely different atmosphere...." See, I do my best brain-work when I'm playing video games. I know that just sounds

为什么。这不是放松。 另一个失败。按摩崩溃。 “六月，”我说。“如果我们要做这件事，我们就得去一个我能充分思考的地方！”“没有跟着你去厕所，”她说。 “不是厕所，”我边说边走向“大妈妈”。 “我在马桶上阅读效果最好。 但我最好的想法需要一个完全不同的氛围....” 你看，我在玩电子游戏的时候脑力工作做得最好。 我知道这听起来

like an excuse to play video games, but seriously—it's like gaming clears your head enough that you can really think, but you still zone out enough that you don't overthink. And it's even better when it's... FOOTBALL FIELD VIDEO GAMES. Quint had the brilliant idea to hook up our consoles to the jumbo screen at the high school's football stadium.

就像一个玩电子游戏的借口，但说真的，这就像游戏能让你的头脑清醒，让你能真正思考，但你仍然足够神游，让你不会过度思考。 更棒的是…… 橄榄球场上的电子游戏。 昆特想出了一个绝妙的主意，把我们的游戏机和高中足球场的大屏幕连在一起。

Right now, June and I are playing NIMBUS: Battle Royale while Dirk snoozes in Big Mama's backseat. The windows rattle from his seismic snoring. I've just finished blasting June with a sniper crossbow when June sets down the controller. "I hope your thinking is working," she says, "'cause we need to do something. Dirk is sadder than—than—" I complete her sentence. "Sadder than endof- the-world online video games." "End-of-the-world online games are monster-truck-sized miserable," June says. "Remember when this game was a super intense, fight-to-the-death battle royale against people from all over the world? Everyone for themselves—last man standing wins?" I nod. "Before the world ended—it was constant online combat!" But now... it's just a digital dust bowl. A wasteland. When June and Quint and I first sat down to play, it felt like the game world had entered apocalypse mode, too....

现在，我和琼在玩《光轮：大逃杀》而德克在大妈妈的后座上打盹。 窗户被他震耳欲聋的鼾声震得嘎嘎作响。 我刚刚用狙击弩把琼炸了，琼放下了控制器。 “我希望你的想法是有效的，”她说，“因为我们需要做点什么。 德克比——”我说完她的话。 “比世界末日的网络游戏还要悲伤。” “世界末日的网络游戏是怪物卡车大小的悲惨，”琼说。 “还记得这款游戏是一款与来自世界各地的玩家进行生死搏斗的大逃杀游戏吗？ 每个人都为自己着想——活到最后的人赢？”我点头。 “在世界末日之前，一直都是在线战斗！”但现在…… 它只是一个数字尘暴区。 一片荒原。当June， Quint和我第一次坐下来玩游戏时，感觉游戏世界也进入了启示录模式....