Chapter 13

chapter thirteen "It feels like an earthquake!" I cry out. "Like a monstrous earthquake," Dirk adds. I'm sliding down one of the half-pipe ramps, trying to surf the slick concrete curve, when the ground shakes again. I lose my balance. Dirk tumbles after me and we both land in the Pit. We recover, rising, shaking off bits of gravel. I gulp. "What the..." The earth trembles again, and I stumble back into Dirk's arms. It's a cozy hold, I'm not ashamed to say. I bet my dude gives good snuggles. Something is rolling and bouncing toward us. Stepping back, I see it over the lip of the sloping wall. At first, I think it's some cartoonish, giant- sized tumbleweed. Then it comes into focus— and I gasp. It is—

The Hairy Eyeball Monster This wild eyeball almost turned me and Quint into human pincushions at the graveyard. Last year, The creature careens through the fence, slamming through a rail and plunging into the park's flat-bottomed pit. As the eyeball rolls—zigzagging like a shortcircuiting robot gone berserk—I can tell it's different. The Hairy Eyeball Monster is now COVERED IN VINE-THINGIES!

"It's like a mammoth meatball rolled around in monster spaghetti!" I cry. The monster's shriek is not one of those I'm-evil-and-I'm-angry-'cause-you're-botching-myplans shrieks that someone like Evie would make. No—this is a shrill moan of suffering.

"I think it's scared," I say. "I think it's hurting!" Dirk nods. "The vines. They're, like, choking it or something!" The eyeball frantically rolls back and forth. It looks so helpless, wrapped in green strands, like a game of tetherball gone wrong. Suddenly, not thinking, I bark into the walkie, "Guys, new rules! Whoever frees the Hairy Eyeball Monster will be named Last Creatures Standing!" Silence over the walkie. And then Skaelka: "You mean—we free the beast and we receive the Tremors IIVHS?" "Yes, sure, fine!" I shout as I dive to the side, just barely avoiding the rolling ball of terror. "Tremors II for everyone!" Chaotic static erupts on the walkie channel. It sounds like every monster in town stops mid- battle to head in our direction. "On your feet, bud!" Dirk barks as he yanks me up. The eyeball lurches at us. We brace for impact, but there's a deafening—

CRACK! The eyeball snaps back. "The vines have snagged on the half-pipe!" Dirk shouts. "It's like a dog on a leash—it can only go so far." "Dirk, I got an idea!" I shout. "Remember in school, when we had to run laps? Follow me!" We start sprinting circles around the perimeter of the half-pipe and the Hairy Eyeball Monster follows. With each loop, the creature is twisted more and more tightly in the vines. Soon, it's pinned to the wall—the vines wrapped around it holding it still. "Now!" I say to Dirk. "Let's destroy the vines." Dirk smiles. "MALLET MELEE!!!"

Each goo-slime-covered swing melts, slices, and tears through the vines! Soon, only one titanically thick Vine-Thingy still chokes it. Dirk raises his hammer—but the vine tangles around it. He tries to wrestle it away, but it's tugged from his hands. The force hurls him across the Pit, into a metal railing.