Chapter 12

chapter twelve We're not even five minutes into this thing, but I feel like I've already won because this is SO gonna cheer up Dirk. But also, we're gonna win for real, in a legit victory way! See, we have an advantage: my encyclopedic knowledge of video games! I know the best way to win a Battle Royale melee is to: 1. Find a vehicle. 2. Cruise around in that vehicle, avoiding other players, until you find a loot crate. 3. Take your loot crate gear and hide out in a safe location while the other players battle it out! When there's nearly no one left, you simply— 4. SWOOP IN FOR ULTIMATE VICTORY!

我们还不到五分钟就开始了，但我觉得我已经赢了，因为这肯定会让德克高兴起来。 但同时，我们也会以合法的方式赢得真正的胜利！看，我们有一个优势：我对电子游戏的渊博知识！我知道赢得大逃杀肉搏的最佳方法是： 找一辆车。2. 在那辆车里巡航，避开其他玩家，直到你找到一个战利品箱。 3. 带上你的战利品箱装备，躲在一个安全的地方，让其他玩家战斗到底！当几乎没有人离开时，你只需- 4。 猛扑过来，赢得最终的胜利！

I'm trying to explain that to Dirk when suddenly, zipping past the mouth of the alley ahead of us is Skaelka. And what the huh—she already completed Step 1. I crane my neck, looking up at her ridonculous monster vehicle. She's inside the rusted husk of a 1980s Snatcher convertible. But that car frame is, in fact, the shell of a sort of other-dimensional hermit crab. It is— —The Carapace—

我正试图向德克解释这一点，突然，从我们前面的巷口疾驰而过的是斯卡卡。 她已经完成了第一步。 我伸长脖子，抬头看着她那可笑的怪物车。 她在一辆八十年代的飞车敞篷车的生锈外壳里。 但这个车架实际上是一种异维寄居蟹的外壳。 它是- -甲壳- -

Skaelka's partnered with Globlet, a creature that resembles a tiny, very huggable wad of gum. Skaelka and Globlet must have already found a loot crate, because they've got two massive Goo-Slime weapons pointed at us. "Hello, human Sullivan," Skaelka says with a grin. I'm staring down the barrel of a Goo- Slime Blast Attacker.

斯卡卡和Globlet合作，Globlet是一种小动物，看起来像一团非常可爱的口香糖。 斯卡卡和Globlet肯定已经找到了战利品箱，因为他们拿着两把巨大的黏液武器指着我们。 “你好，人类沙利文，”Skaelka笑着说。 我正盯着黏液爆炸攻击器的枪管。

I gulp. Oh man, we cannot get knocked out of the game this early—I haven't had a chance to get heart-to-heart honest with Dirk yet. Thankfully, at that very second, two more monsters come screaming down the street. They're riding souped-up, motorized scooters— and they unload on Skaelka and Globlet. Skaelka ducks. Globlet dodges. The slime assault misses. "Jack, you are lucky this time," Skaelka says. Then she turns the Carapace around, charging toward her enemies. Phew. OK. Vehicle time. We need our own. And I need answers from my buddy. "So, Dirk...." I say as we duck-and-run our way across Wakefield. "You've been acting all sorts of sad and weird. You wanna, like, talk about it? Chit-chat?" Dirk doesn't even respond. "See, if you're feeling down," I continue, "sometimes it helps to talk to buds about your feelings—"

我吞咽。哦，天哪，我们不能这么早就被淘汰，我还没有机会和德克谈心。 谢天谢地，就在那一刻，又有两个怪物尖叫着从街上走来。 他们骑着马力更大的电动滑板车，在斯卡卡和Globlet上卸货。 Skaelka鸭子。Globlet闪。 黏液攻击没有命中。“杰克，这次你很幸运，”斯卡卡说。 然后她转过甲壳，向她的敌人冲去。 唷。好的。车时间。我们需要我们自己的。 我需要我朋友给我答案。 “那么,德克……”我一边说一边躲着穿过维克菲尔德。 “你最近表现得很悲伤，很奇怪。 你想谈谈吗？ 聊天吗?”德克甚至没有回应。 “你看，如果你情绪低落，”我继续说，“有时候和朋友谈谈你的感受会有所帮助——”

"STOP!" Dirk roars, snapping. "Dude, I'm trying to play this real-life video game. Remember—your idea. And if you'd pay attention, you'd hear what I hear." I pause and listen. "The sounds of romance?" "No, dude. A BoomKart engine." I listen harder. He's right! I spot it: across the street, inside the SunOil gas station, is an idling BoomKart. "PERFECT! Finding a vehicle is Step 1 in winning a battle royale. C'mon!" The gas station's window is long gone. I try to do an action hero hop through, but I fall and land on my nose. Dirk simply struts through the front door like a normal human. He glares at me. Crud. Don't need grumpy Dirk glares. The whole point of Battle Royale is for Dirk to have some fun. And if he's staring daggers at me—then he's having less than fun. "Look, bro," he says, pointing. "Found one of your lame treasure chests."

“住手!”德克咆哮着，啪地一声。 “伙计，我在玩现实生活中的电子游戏。 记住你的想法。如果你注意听，你就会听到我听到的。” 我停下来倾听。“浪漫的声音？”“不,老兄。 BoomKart引擎。”我听得更认真了。 他是对的!我发现了它：街对面，在SunOil加油站里，有一辆空转的BoomKart。 “完美!寻找交通工具是赢得大逃杀的第一步。 来吧!”加油站的窗户早就不见了。 我试着做一个动作英雄跳过去，但我摔倒了，鼻子着地。 德克只是像普通人一样昂首阔步地穿过前门。 他怒视着我。Crud。不需要德克式的怒视。 大逃杀的全部意义在于让Dirk获得乐趣。 如果他盯着我看，那他就不开心了。 “看，兄弟，”他指着说。 “找到了你的一个破宝箱”

"Not a treasure chest," I say. "LOOT. CRATE." While I hop into the BoomKart, Dirk opens the crate. He finds something sweet. Goo-Mallet. This'll do nicely, Dude. BoomKart Time. Also, maybe now. Do you wanna talk about your feelings? "Mallet now, feelings later," Dirk grunts as he climbs onto the back of the BoomKart. "Hang on tight!" I say, hitting the gas, bursting through the door, and speeding outside. "Now we just avoid everyone else while they take each other out. Then: VICTORY!"

“不是宝箱，”我说。 “战利品。箱。”当我跳进BoomKart时，Dirk打开了板条箱。 他发现了一些甜蜜的东西。Goo-Mallet。 这样就好了，伙计。BoomKart时间。 也许现在也是。你想谈谈你的感受吗？ “先打木槌，以后再打感情。”德克一边咕哝，一边爬上布姆卡特的后座。 “抓紧了！”我说着，猛踩油门，冲出车门，飞快地跑了出去。 “现在他们互相攻击的时候，我们就躲着其他人。 然后:胜利!”