Chapter 11

chapter eleven Three days later, it's nearly Battle Royale. But A LOT happened in three days. A quick list: Dirk sulks and sleeps—nothing else. Something's seriously wrong. I train a bunch—and I fail a bunch. My life is not the epic training montage I had in mind... Quint studies the tail—and gets tail guts everywhere. There's now a semipermanent layer of goo on the toilet seat, and let's just say, that toilet has seen enough. June locks herself in her room, fully focused on figuring out how to turn video game Wi-Fi into a "find the humans" apparatus.

三天后，这几乎是大逃杀。 但是三天内发生了很多事情。 一个简短的列表：德克生气和睡觉——没有别的。 出了严重的问题。 我训练了很多人，也失败了很多人。 我的生活不是我想象中的史诗般的训练蒙太奇…… 昆特研究尾巴，到处都是尾巴内脏。 现在马桶座圈上有一层半永久性的粘稠物，我们只能说，马桶已经看够了。 琼把自己锁在房间里，全神贯注地想办法把电子游戏的Wi-Fi变成“寻找人类”的设备。

Also, Rover is cute. Super cute. As usual. And then, at last, it is REAL-LIFE Battle Royale time... The Town Square is kinda like the game's lobby—we're all gathered around, decked out in full Last Creatures Standing gear. And by gear, I mean... weird junk. We have gone MAXIMUM LEVEL in the costumes and skins department. We're posing with radical gear so we look cool. During the game, all tools and

而且，罗孚很可爱。超级可爱。 像往常一样。最后，就是真正的大逃杀时间了…… 城镇广场有点像游戏的大厅——我们都聚集在一起，全副武装。 我说的齿轮是指…奇怪的垃圾。 我们在服装和皮肤部门已经达到了最高水平。 我们穿着激进的装备摆拍，看起来很酷。 在游戏过程中，所有工具和

weapons will be hidden in LOOT CRATES! We'll be battling in Duo Mode—teams of two players, facing off against one another, and the last team standing wins! I suggested duos so that I could partner up with Dirk... 'Cause that's the real point of this game: finding out what's bothering my buddy. When your friend is hurting, that's serious biz. And if it's gonna take the fog of war for me to pick his brain, so be it...." PLAYERS, LISTEN UP!" Quint shouts as he leaps into the rules. I sort of zone out, because it's all standard battle royale stuff. But there are two big exceptions: #1: LOOT CRATES: Quint-made weapons, like football launchers, NERF cannons, etc., have been hidden in LOOT CRATES across town. Vehicles, too! Find them and use them against your foes! In a video game, the loot crates just sort of spawn randomly. Sadly, we don't have random

武器将被隐藏在战利品箱中！我们将在双人模式中战斗——两名玩家组成的队伍，互相对抗，最后站着的队伍获胜！我建议两人搭档，这样我就可以和德克搭档了。 因为这才是这个游戏的真正意义：找出是什么在困扰我的朋友。 当你的朋友受伤时，这是一件严肃的事情。 如果需要战争的迷雾让我去征求他的意见，那就这样吧....” 球员们，听好了！”昆特大叫着跳进了规则里。 我有点走神了，因为这都是标准的大逃杀游戏。 1 .战利品箱：五件武器，如足球发射器、NERF大炮等，被藏在城镇各处的战利品箱中。 车辆!找到他们，用他们来对付你的敌人！在电子游戏中，战利品箱是随机生成的。 遗憾的是，我们没有随机

loot crate spawn powers—so we got Biggun to place loot crates and vehicles all over town. And the #2 big important difference: GOOSLIME. Just like a video game, when a player is out, they're out—no faking! But we needed a way to make sure no one cheated. I mean, we've all played flashlight tag with that one kid who totally gets caught but is still somersaulting around like, "Nope, you missed me! Nope, you didn't see me!" That kid is the worst. Don't be that kid. Thankfully, Quint came up with gleaming, glowing goo-slime! When he first explained it to the monsters, he sounded like a late night infomercial host...

战利品箱会产生能量——所以我们让Biggun在城镇各处放置战利品箱和车辆。 还有第二大重要区别：GOOSLIME。 就像电子游戏一样，当玩家出局时，他们就出局了——没有伪装！但我们需要一种方法来确保没有人作弊。 我的意思是，我们都和一个孩子玩过手电筒捉迷藏游戏，他完全被抓住了，但仍然在翻跟头，好像在说：“不，你错过了我！”不，你没看见我！”那孩子最坏了。 别做那个孩子。谢天谢地，昆特拿出了闪闪发光的黏液！当他第一次向怪物解释的时候，他听起来就像一个深夜电视购物主持人……

Goo-Slime. Every weapon is loaded with it. If you get hit, the substance will slow you down and stop you in your tracks. So you're effectively out. Quint put Skaelka in charge of goo-slime weapon assembly. So, for the past three days, the monsters were holed up inside Joe's, doing a Santa's workshop thing. I can only imagine how that went...

Goo-Slime。每件武器都装有它。 如果你被击中，这种物质会让你慢下来，让你停止前进。 所以你实际上已经出局了。 昆特让斯卡卡负责黏液武器的组装。 在过去的三天里，怪物们都躲在乔的店里，在做圣诞老人的工作坊。 我只能想象那是怎么回事……

I NEED THREE HUNDRED GOOSE LAME WEAPONS-AND I NEEDED THEM. YESTERDAY I glance over at Dirk—I see he's struggling. He's sort of staring off into space, not blinking. I can't wait any longer to make him better, so I elbow Quint. "Time to get the show on the road." Quint lifts his multipurpose remote above his head and bellows over the crowd, a feverish grin crossing his face as he flicks a toggle and—

我需要三百件蹩脚的武器——我需要它们。 昨天我瞥了一眼德克——我看到他在挣扎。 他盯着太空看，眼睛都不眨。 我等不及让他好起来了，所以我推了昆特一把。 “是时候开始表演了。” 昆特把他的多功能遥控器举过头顶，对着人群大吼一声，当他拨动开关时，脸上露出了狂热的笑容，然后——