Chapter 2

Chapter Two Overboard was the right decision. There's a gulp—and the great beast's belly rumbles. The sled has been swallowed. Two seconds later and he would've swallowed us, too.

第二章落水是正确的决定。 喝了一大口，这头巨兽的肚子咕咕作响。 雪橇被吞没了。 再过两秒钟，他也会把我们吞下去。

I hate sliding. Nob sledding rules. We just did bad at it. Maybe a death defying sled jump was not the best way to start off the winter. You guys didn't even use your Instant-inflate tubes. A monstrous roar cuts through the air. "C'mon!" June shouts. She yanks me to my feet. Dirk pulls Quint from the snow, and we race out onto a wide street. Snow whips through the air, like I'm inside a snow globe. It's like when you have to get up in the

我讨厌滑动。没有雪橇规则。 我们只是做得不好。也许不顾死亡的雪橇跳跃并不是开始冬天的最佳方式。 你们甚至都不用即时充气管。 一声巨大的吼声划破了空气。 “来吧!”6月大喊。她猛地把我拉起来。 德克把昆特从雪地里拉出来，我们跑到一条宽阔的街道上。 雪花在空中飞舞，就像我在雪花玻璃球里。 就像你必须站起来

middle of the night to pee but you can't see anything. Only then, the worst-case scenario is you fall into an open toilet. Here the worst-case scenario is—y'know—death by monster. CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH! Our bodies bounce. The snow-cracking CRUNCHES are deafening. The monster's coming after us, but I only see its huge stomping legs. "Guys! We need to get to cover!" I shout. I'm using my Louisville Slicer like a cane, staggering forward while poking around. And that is not what the Louisville Slicer is for. It's for battling monsters! It's my ultimate weapon. I slayed Blarg with the Louisville Slicer! I battled Thrull with it! I sliced the lassos that held the King Wretch with it!

半夜尿尿，但你什么也看不见。 只有这样，最糟糕的情况是你掉进了一个开放的厕所。 这里最坏的情况是被怪物杀死。 危机!危机!危机!我们的身体会弹跳。 碎雪声震耳欲聋。 怪物在追我们，但我只看到它巨大的跺脚腿。 “男人!我们得找个掩护！”我喊。 我把我的路易斯维尔切片机当成一根手杖，一边摇摇晃晃地前进，一边四处张望。 这不是路易斯维尔切片机的用途。 这是用来对抗怪物的！这是我的终极武器。 我用路易斯维尔切片机杀了布莱尔！我用它和Thrull战斗！我用它砍断了那个混蛋国王的套索！

THRULL: Man-monster! Undercover traitor monster! KING WRETCH:

THRULL: Man-monster !秘密的叛徒怪物！国王的家伙:

This dude gave me weird dream-visions and then his chest opened so .e...c. could talk to me and, yeah, it was nuts. THE LOUISVILLE SLICER: My radical weapon. It did damage to all these bad dudes.

这家伙给了我一些奇怪的梦境，然后他的胸腔打开了，所以… 可以和我说话，是的，这太疯狂了。 路易斯维尔切片机：我的激进武器。 它伤害了所有这些坏家伙。

I mean, that bat is basically my lightsaber! CRUNCH! The monster stomps grow louder. Up ahead, I see an opening—like the mouth of a cave.... What the—where are we? I thought we were in the suburbs, but now we've stumbled upon some sort of cave situation? "Whoa, whoa," Dirk says. "Could be frost giants. Frost giants live in caves—learned that from Conan the Barbarian." June sighs. "Dudes, really? It's not a cave! It's the car wash!" Another CRUNCH! "In we go!" I say, and we race into the car wash tunnel. Even inside, the cold is crippling. Quint's teeth are chattering. We really need to upgrade our winter outfits—if we don't, hypothermia might take us down before a monster— RAWRRR!

我是说，那只蝙蝠基本上就是我的光剑！危机!怪物的脚步声越来越大。 在前方，我看到了一个开口——就像一个洞口.... 我们这是在哪儿？我以为我们是在郊区，但现在我们偶然发现了一个类似洞穴的情况？ “哇，哇，”德克说。“可能是冰霜巨人。 冰霜巨人住在山洞里——这是从野蛮人柯南那里学来的。” 6月叹了口气。“帅哥,真的吗? 这不是洞穴！是洗车店！”另一个危机!“进去吧！”我说，我们就冲进洗车隧道。 即使在室内，寒冷也让人瘫痪。 昆特的牙齿在打战。 我们真的需要升级我们的冬季装备——如果我们不这样做，体温过低可能会让我们在怪物到来之前倒下。