Chapter 7

Chapter Seven I'm itchy. Anxious. Straight-up squirrelly. See, the first thing I learned after the Monster Apocalypse began is that you need to keep busy. Otherwise, you go crazy-pants. So... I make a decision: I'm getting my Helidrone back from Big Al's Junk Palace. I tell my buds, and they're totally on board with journeying to Big Al's, even if it's for different reasons...

第七章我痒。焦虑。 直接古怪的。怪物启示录开始后我学到的第一件事就是你需要保持忙碌。 否则，你会发疯的。 所以…我做了一个决定：我要把我的直升机从大人工的垃圾宫殿拿回来。 我告诉我的朋友，他们完全同意去大人工智能店，即使原因不同……

Big Al's Junk Palace will have the long-range signal-boosting antenna. We need to complete the radio. The radio is the key to getting in touch with the rest of humanity. And I need a new lead pipe for monster bashing. "Getting inside Big Al's will not be easy," Quint says. "We must perform reconnaissance from an elevated position to analyze all possible points of entry. A roof near Big Al's would be best." I lean forward. "A roof, eh? Sounds to me like it's time for a game of... THE STREETS ARE LAVA!" "Yes! Yes! Yes!" June screams. "Capital idea, Jack!" Quint adds.

大人工智能的垃圾宫将安装远程信号增强天线。 我们需要完成无线电。 无线电是与其他人类联系的关键。 我还需要一根新的铅管来打怪物。 昆特说：“进入大人工智能店并不容易。 “我们必须在高处进行侦察，分析所有可能的进入点。 在大阿尔家附近找个屋顶最好。” 我向前倾身。“一个屋顶，嗯？” 在我看来，是时候来一场…… 街道都是熔岩！”“是啊!是的!是的!”6月的尖叫声。 “好主意，杰克！”五胞胎补充道。

Okay, so... The Streets Are Lava is basically the best game ever. It's super simple, and you probably kinda know what the deal is. When you play at home, it's called The Floor Is Lava. You move around the house making tough leaps and grabs, while trying not to touch the ground. It's like, "Oh, Bill (or whatever your buddy's name is—if it's Bill, even better), jump from the coffee table to the couch, but don't touch the floor!" The game always ends with your mom's favorite vase shattering and everyone getting grounded for the weekend. But see, our version is post-apocalyptic—so it's more adventurous and more dangerous, and no one ever gets grounded! The goal of the game is: GET AS FAR ACROSS OUR CRUMBLING TOWN AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT TOUCHING THE STREET. It's crazy fun and we also discover all sorts of supplies and loot while playing. One game led us to a fancy-pants country club where we found an automatic tennis-ball-firing thing. We pushed the BallBlaster 2000 straight back home because, I

好吧,所以…《Streets Are Lava》可以说是有史以来最棒的游戏。 这非常简单，你可能知道是怎么回事。 当你在家玩的时候，它叫做The Floor Is Lava。 你在房子里四处走动，艰难地跳跃和抓取，同时尽量不接触地面。 就像，“哦，比尔（或者不管你的朋友叫什么名字——如果是比尔，那就更好了），从咖啡桌跳到沙发上，但不要碰地板！”游戏总是以你妈妈最喜欢的花瓶摔碎和每个人周末都被禁足结束。 但你看，我们的版本是后世界末日——所以它更冒险，更危险，而且没有人被禁足！游戏的目标是：在不触及街道的情况下尽可能远地穿过我们摇摇欲坠的小镇。 这非常有趣，我们还可以在游戏中发现各种各样的补给和战利品。 一场比赛把我们带到了一个高档的乡村俱乐部，在那里我们发现了一个自动发射网球的东西。 我们把球爆器2000直接推回家了，因为我

mean—an automatic tennis-ball-firing thing? That's obviously fantastic fun. I tighten my laces and get ready to head out. "I'll grab my tools!" Dirk says. "I'll grab my backpack!" June says. "I'll pack a picnic lunch!" Quint says. See what I mean? How could I let all this come to an end? We start downtown, moving from one store rooftop to the next. Then we hit the houses, where

是指自动发射网球的东西吗？ 这显然很有趣。 我系紧鞋带，准备出发。 “我去拿工具！”德克说。 “我去拿我的背包！”6月说。 “我要带一份野餐午餐！”五度音说。 明白我的意思了吗？我怎么能让这一切结束？ 我们从市中心开始，从一家商店的屋顶到另一家商店。 然后我们去房子那里

it's roof to patio to tree. Then we're scaling a fire escape to the top of the 7-Eleven. We've come to the 7-Eleven before, but we've never figured out how to get beyond it without breaking the rules of The Streets Are Lava. But now we have to figure it out so we can get to the Burger King that overlooks Big Al's. (And we have to stick to the rules. I will not disrespect the game by dismissing the rules all willy-nilly.) Dirk slips off his backpack. "Whatcha got there, Dirk?" I ask. He grins. "Cowboy stuff. Like in the movies." Dirk has weird taste in movies. Also, he gets on these kicks where he'll only watch one kind of movie, nonstop. First it was only WWE wrestling specials. Then it was only arm-wrestling movies— and there's only like two movies with armwrestling-centric plots, so that got old quick. His latest kick is old Wild West Westerns. And I dig that, because my buddies and I are basically modern-day cowboys. We roam the land and battle wild enemies and don't shower very often.

从屋顶到天井到树。 然后我们从防火梯爬到7- 11的楼顶。 我们以前来过7- 11，但我们从来没有想过如何在不违反“街道是熔岩”规则的情况下超越它。 但现在我们必须弄清楚，这样我们才能去俯瞰大人工智能的汉堡王。 我们必须遵守规则。 我不会因为无视规则而不尊重比赛。)德克脱下背包。 “你拿的是什么，德克？”我问。 他笑着说。“牛仔的东西。就像电影里那样。” 德克看电影的品味很奇怪。 此外，他还喜欢看一种电影，不停地看。 起初只有WWE摔跤特辑。 那时只有扳手腕的电影，而且只有两部以扳手腕为中心的电影，所以很快就过时了。 他最新的一招是老式的狂野西部片。 我喜欢这一点，因为我和我的伙伴们基本上就是现代牛仔。 我们在土地上游荡，与野蛮的敌人作战，不经常洗澡。

Anyway, Dirk's fully obsessed with anything Wild West–y—including cowboy skills... I'm gonna lasso that streetlamp Like Indiana Jones. No, like a cowboy. The rope makes a whift, whift, whift sound as Dirk whirls then hurls the lasso. And he nails it, first try! "Told ya," he says, with a proud grin. "I'm all cowboy." He spits on his hands, rubs his palms together, grins 'cause he knows that looks cool, and then grabs the rope and leaps...

总之，德克完全痴迷于狂野西部的一切——包括牛仔技能…… 我要像印第安纳·琼斯那样套住街灯。 不，像个牛仔。当德克旋转着抛出套索时，绳子发出嗖嗖、嗖嗖、嗖嗖的声音。 他第一次就成功了！“早跟你说过了，”他骄傲地笑着说。 “我是个十足的牛仔。”他往手上吐口水，搓搓手掌，咧嘴一笑，因为他知道这样看起来很酷，然后抓住绳子跳了起来……