Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen Cars, trucks, and bad-to-the-bone Harley Davidsons are crushed beneath Biggun's feet. Zombies moan with frustrated hunger as we speed past. Biggun is in, like, dash mode the entire journey.

"Look!" Quint says, pointing as we round a bend. I see the top of the Ferris wheel. And then the peak of the Thunder Coaster. I can imagine what a sight Fun Land would be, all lit up on a summer night—lights radiating for miles and miles. A beacon calling out, saying, "Laughter and good times for all—RIGHT HERE!" But there's none of that now—and that's okay. This, to me, is perfect. "I can't believe you did so much just to get us here," June says with a hint of wonder in her voice. "You're a good friend, Jack." I just shrug and force a half smile, because I'm not sure how true that is. CRUNCH! Biggun yanks the front gate away, then we all hop down. We step over the crumpled gate, and we're there, inside Fun Land. We have made it. I let out a soft long, carefree whistle... "So, what are we going to ride first?" I ask, rubbing my hands together.

"First?" Dirk asks. "First we should probably figure out what to do with this guy." He hooks a a thumb at Biggun. Biggun answers that question himself. He's stomping toward a food stand. His hand slams through the wall and he yanks out a thick wad of cotton candy. I choke back a barf as I watch roaches crawl over the sticky pink treat. It's less than appetizing, but Biggin gulps it down and shoves his hand back in for more. "Y'know," I say. "I think he might be good here for a while...

"OKAY! NO MORE DELAYS! Let the good times roll! And bounce! Or just, y'know, flow. Whatever the good times wanna do, they can do," I say. "Jack, just one more holdup..." Quint says. ARGH! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY HOLDUPS!? It's like a bank robber convention! Quint points out that there's no electricity in the park. But Dirk quickly finds a little shack of a building with the words "ELECTRICAL MAINTENANCE" on the door. Inside, Dirk yanks a series of grease-slick levers. Soon, an electrical HUMMMMMMM begins to fill the park. Fun Land is turning on: all of it coming to life, magical wonder in the air. Rides whir, lights flash, music plays, and I'm filled with a warm maple syrup feeling that's just joy.

Guys ultimate fun has begun. We laugh and joke and tease. Each of my friends wears a smile bigger than I've seen in months. I completed my goal: I have delivered ULTIMATE FUN! Like I said, this is my first amusement park ever —but it takes me only like six minutes to announce, "I AM NOW EXTREMELY IN LOVE WITH AMUSEMENT PARKS! The guy who invented them deserves his own holiday! I mean, if the world ever gets back to normal and there actually are holidays again."

"The guy who invented amusement parks?" June says, jabbing me in the side. "It could have been a girl. A woman." "Yes! Of course! Duh!" I reply. "Totally smart and accurate point. Whichever woman or man or kid or dude or what invented amusement parks—they are a world hero." Each ride is more awesome than the last—except for a few where we find monsters lurking in unexpected places... Like the Paratrooper...