Chapter 1

THE LAST KIDS ON EARTH and the Nightmare King MAX BROWER

Chapter One Want to know what the most fantastically radical game ever is? I can tell you. It's Real-Life Super Mario Kart. And we're playing it right now. My best buddies—Quint, June, and Dirk—are racing through town in post-apocalyptic vehicles of awesomeness: souped-up bumper cars that we call BoomKarts. Dirk built the BoomKarts, and Quint loaded 'em up with wicked vehicular combat coolness: paintball blasters, defensive marble spillers, spiked tires, gas- powered slingshots—the works. But me, Jack Sullivan? I don't need a BoomKart because I race atop my awesome monster-dog, Rover. There's a reason for this game of Real-Life Super Mario Kart. I noticed that the energy and enthusiasm levels of my buddies were a little low. I

mean, I was having trouble distinguishing them from the zombies.... So I was like, "WE NEED EXCITEMENT! And what's more exciting than building an epic go-kart course with jumps, oil slicks, and a spinning speedway through creepy old man Aiken's house?" That's one of the perks of life after the Monster Apocalypse—you can build giant Mario Kart–style tracks through your hometown.

Right now, June's winning, and I must take her out! She's claimed first place three races in a row! I yank my T-shirt cannon from Rover's saddlebag and... Free T-shirts for you. June SHIRT SLUG Direct hit! June's kart slices around the corner, spins, then slams into the local fire station.

"Don't mess with the king!" I shout. Rover woofs triumphantly as we stampede into first place. But I throw a glance behind me and see June's BoomKart is all busted up. Crud. The idea is to win, not to knock your buddies unconscious! I know a good amount about buddies, 'cause I have the best buddies, and I'm quite sure they don't like being knocked out. I tug on Rover's reins and he turns. "June, you okay?" I begin to call out, but then— yeah, I'm okay. Okay, with BENDING THE RULES TO BLAST YOU. SURPRISE FOOTBALL, CROSSBOW, BOOM,

THWACK! The football knocks me clean out of Rover's saddle. I fall onto the grass. Surprise football crossbow booms are the worst. "Your problem, Jack, is that you're too nice," June teases. "You don't have that competitive spirit like me." She's about to speed ahead when something INSANE happens. And I don't use the term "INSANE" lightly, since pretty much everything that happens during the Monster Apocalypse could be classified as insane or, at the very minimum, pretty much bonkers bananas. We hear a voice. A human voice. I can't make out the words, but the voice is coming from inside the fire station. We've seen or heard zero other humans since the Monster Apocalypse began. So like I said, yeah, INSANE. June and I are instantly hurrying to the station and pressing our ears to the red metal door. We hear the voice again. June looks at me, eyes bulging. CONFIRMED: