Chapter 1

THE LAST KIDS ON EARTH and the Nightmare King MAX BROWER

地球上最后的孩子和噩梦之王麦克斯·布劳尔

Chapter One Want to know what the most fantastically radical game ever is? I can tell you. It's Real-Life Super Mario Kart. And we're playing it right now. My best buddies—Quint, June, and Dirk—are racing through town in post-apocalyptic vehicles of awesomeness: souped-up bumper cars that we call BoomKarts. Dirk built the BoomKarts, and Quint loaded 'em up with wicked vehicular combat coolness: paintball blasters, defensive marble spillers, spiked tires, gas- powered slingshots—the works. But me, Jack Sullivan? I don't need a BoomKart because I race atop my awesome monster-dog, Rover. There's a reason for this game of Real-Life Super Mario Kart. I noticed that the energy and enthusiasm levels of my buddies were a little low. I

想知道最激进的游戏是什么吗？ 我可以告诉你。这是现实版的超级马里奥赛车。 我们现在就在玩。 我最好的朋友——昆特、琼和德克——正开着后世界末日时代的超棒汽车在镇上飞驰：我们称之为BoomKarts的加强型碰碰车。 德克制造了布姆卡丁车，昆特给它们装上了邪恶的车辆战斗酷炫：彩弹炮、防御弹珠喷射器、带刺的轮胎、燃气动力弹弓——所有的东西。 但是我，杰克·沙利文？我不需要布姆卡丁车，因为我骑着我的怪兽狗，罗孚。 这款现实版的《超级马里奥赛车》是有原因的。 我注意到我的伙伴们的精力和热情都有点低落。 我

mean, I was having trouble distinguishing them from the zombies.... So I was like, "WE NEED EXCITEMENT! And what's more exciting than building an epic go-kart course with jumps, oil slicks, and a spinning speedway through creepy old man Aiken's house?" That's one of the perks of life after the Monster Apocalypse—you can build giant Mario Kart–style tracks through your hometown.

我很难把他们和僵尸区分开来.... 所以我说，“我们需要刺激！还有什么比建造一个史诗般的卡丁车赛道更令人兴奋的呢？赛道上有跳跃、浮油，还有一条旋转的高速公路，穿过令人毛骨悚然的老艾肯的房子。”这是怪物启示录之后的生活津贴之一——你可以在你的家乡建造巨大的马里奥赛车风格的赛道。

Right now, June's winning, and I must take her out! She's claimed first place three races in a row! I yank my T-shirt cannon from Rover's saddlebag and... Free T-shirts for you. June SHIRT SLUG Direct hit! June's kart slices around the corner, spins, then slams into the local fire station.

现在，琼赢了，我必须除掉她！她已经连续三场比赛获得第一名了！我从罗孚的鞍袋里抽出我的t恤大炮，然后…… 给你免费的t恤。六月衬衫弹头直接命中！琼的卡丁车在拐角处转弯，旋转，然后撞进了当地的消防站。

"Don't mess with the king!" I shout. Rover woofs triumphantly as we stampede into first place. But I throw a glance behind me and see June's BoomKart is all busted up. Crud. The idea is to win, not to knock your buddies unconscious! I know a good amount about buddies, 'cause I have the best buddies, and I'm quite sure they don't like being knocked out. I tug on Rover's reins and he turns. "June, you okay?" I begin to call out, but then— yeah, I'm okay. Okay, with BENDING THE RULES TO BLAST YOU. SURPRISE FOOTBALL, CROSSBOW, BOOM,

“别惹国王！”我喊。 罗孚得意地叫着，我们冲到了第一名。 但我回头看了一眼，发现琼的BoomKart已经被撞坏了。 Crud。我们的想法是赢，而不是把你的伙伴打晕！我很了解朋友，因为我有最好的朋友，我很确定他们不喜欢被击倒。 我拉着罗孚的缰绳，他转过身来。 “琼恩，你还好吗？”我开始大喊大叫，但是——是的，我没事。 好吧，为了打击你而违反规定。 惊喜足球，弓弩，嘣，

THWACK! The football knocks me clean out of Rover's saddle. I fall onto the grass. Surprise football crossbow booms are the worst. "Your problem, Jack, is that you're too nice," June teases. "You don't have that competitive spirit like me." She's about to speed ahead when something INSANE happens. And I don't use the term "INSANE" lightly, since pretty much everything that happens during the Monster Apocalypse could be classified as insane or, at the very minimum, pretty much bonkers bananas. We hear a voice. A human voice. I can't make out the words, but the voice is coming from inside the fire station. We've seen or heard zero other humans since the Monster Apocalypse began. So like I said, yeah, INSANE. June and I are instantly hurrying to the station and pressing our ears to the red metal door. We hear the voice again. June looks at me, eyes bulging. CONFIRMED:

啪的一声,足球把我从罗孚的马鞍上撞了下来。 我跌倒在草地上。令人惊讶的是，足球十字弓的爆炸是最糟糕的。 “杰克，你的问题是你太好了，”琼揶揄道。 “你没有我那样的竞争精神。” 她正要加速前进，突然发生了一些疯狂的事情。 我不会轻易使用“疯狂”这个词，因为在怪物天启期间发生的几乎所有事情都可以被归类为疯狂，或者至少是疯狂的香蕉。 我们听到一个声音。人的声音。 我听不清是什么字，但声音是从消防站里面传来的。 自从怪物启示录开始以来，我们就没有看到或听到过其他人类。 就像我说的，是的，疯了。 琼和我立即赶往车站，把耳朵贴在红色的金属门上。 我们又听到了那个声音。琼看着我，眼睛鼓鼓的。 确认: