Chapter 6

chapter six Thirty minutes later, the five of us—plus Rover— are standing across the street from Joe's. And my brain is just like, "What the huh?!" I see ample evidence that this is not the Joe's Pizza we're used to... Ample Evidence. Many-cycd monster winged monster, oddly striking and dignified monster. Lazy monster. A bunch more monsters.

"Mr. Thrull, what exactly is this?" Quint asks. "This is where I live," he says, shifting and adjusting his weight on the hockey stick. "Come." Will we be safe? Wait, Are any of these monsters going to like eat us? YOU ARE MY FRIENDS. All MY FRIENDS ARE WELCOME. That sounds reasonable enough—but something stops me. "Um, one second, Mr. Thrull!" I exclaim. "Quick buddy huddle!"

I grab my friends and we all dash out of hearing distance. "Should we go in there?" I ask. Dirk and June both nod. "I think so..." June says. Of course! "Why not? "Why not? You know how old folks always tell you not to trust strangers? Great advice! You know what's better advice? Don't trust monster strangers! The dude's wearing bone jewelry." Quint opens his mouth to respond, but a strange sound interrupts us. It's like the sound of a blade, slicing between us, silencing us. "Do you guys hear that?"

It's like the wind, rustling through the trees. But louder. The sound fills the air. Like a flute or a, uh —what's that lame plastic instrument from elementary school? A recorder! It sounds a bit like that. But the sound is deeper, rougher—and the longer I listen to it, the more it begins to sound like a strange, devilish, musical scream. There's no other way to describe the sound. It is an inhuman SHRIEKING. But there's no time to ponder the strange sound, because Thrull is limping toward Joe's. If we're going in, the time is now. "Come on!" June says. I listen to the noise a moment longer. The sound enters my ears and proceeds to march straight down my spine, twisting it, terrifying me to my core. It's only a noise. Yet it scares me beyond belief. "Jack!" Quint barks. I shake my head, trying to shake out the fear, and I reluctantly follow my friends. From inside Joe's, I hear glass shatter and freakish, inhuman laughing. But I continue following.

We all do. Rover trots beside me. As we step up onto the sidewalk, I tell him to stay, and he flashes those puppy-dog eyes at me. "Don't worry. We'll be back, buddy," I say. "I think..." Continuing forward, we pass the monsters hanging out outside. I try to give them good, solid, manly nods—but they just look at me like, "Buddy, you are in the wrong place." Thrull places his hand against the door, and pushes it open, and we step inside. Inside, to the strangest sight imaginable...

Tentacles dance in the air! Furry beasts arm- wrestle! Scaled things play some strange version of darts. At the counter, insect-like monsters suck down entire pizzas in a single bite. Small flying creatures swoop through the air, delivering food. And everywhere, at tables, in booths, are HULKING MONSTERS chatting it up in some sort of monster language. A few speak English. Bits and pieces of strange monster dialogue float over: "...ONCE POUNDED A GURLAK INTO THE MUD WITH JUST MY TAIL..." "...MORE SNOZZLE STEAKS, CHEF!..." "...TASTES BETTER WHEN IT'S STILL BREATHING, IF YOU ASK ME..."