Chapter 33

chapter thirty-three I now have a general understanding of what it might feel like to be inside an exploding dishwasher: wet, messy, a tiny bit fun, but a great relief when it's over. Dirk and June help me out of the armor. I'm soaking wet, dripping with maybe-probably-toxic weed killer. "Hope you don't turn into some sort of Swamp Thing monster," June says. "Would you still be my friend?" "Your Swamp Thing friend? Ehh, probably not." "That's messed up!" I say with a laugh. And then I realize—I can't be saying things with a laugh! Not yet.

We need to deal with Thrall. "He's gone!" Quint exclaims. Where Thrull was lying a moment earlier, I now see only wet leaves and cracked cement. And the bestiary. The bestiary lies alone. Bardle hobbles toward us, the other monsters close behind. Some have been hurt by the now-dead tree's monstrous limbs. But many have smiles on their faces. "So... where did Thrull go?" June asks. "He just, like, magic-trick vanished." "The beasts that serve .e...c. are not defeated easily," Bardle says. I grit my teeth. "So he got away..." Bardle nods. "For now. But he will never return to our pizza parlor. I promise you that. And it would take him a very long time to plant and feed another

tree portal. I suspect you will never hear The Shrieking again." Very slowly, Quint bends down and picks up the book. I half expect a bolt of lightning to strike him down. But nothing crazy happens—he just holds it gently in his hands, then taps on the cover. "Bardle," Quint says. "Please, tell us every-thing you know about .e...c. the Ancient. About his servants." Dirk suddenly comes sliding down the pole. "'Cause we need to stop that .e...c. for good." Bardle shakes his head. "I will tell you all that I know. But stopping .e...c. forever? He will be a threat to this world always. His servants are relentless." "We are, too," I say. "At night I can never—" "Relentless, Jack," Quint says. "Not restless." Before I can think of a quippy comeback, the ground at our feet begins to tremble. The Wormungulous bellows, then dives beneath the surface of Joe's parking lot, plunging the tree's roots into the ground. The earth splits and the Wormungulous disappears entirely.

Um, Dude, we're mugus We sort of still need you To get our home back like home. "So... he's gone," June says, shooting me a look. "Just like that. And now our tree house is stuck next to the pizza place?" "Are you glaring at me?" I ask. "Yes, I'm glaring," June says. "Why are you glaring?" "Because it's kinda all your fault! You're the hero, Jack! And when things go wrong, the hero's the one responsible." "Correction," I say, holding up a finger. "We're all the heroes, June. Quint led an army of monsters, you swung from vines like Tarzan, and Dirk hulked

out. All I had to do was fall through a tree. Any dumb idiot could do that." And the dumbest idiot of all did do that. It's true. Jack, you are a tremendous idiot. Okay, let's just all relax. Best idiot. I know.

Well, I guess we live next to Joe's pizza now. Quint is practically shaking with happiness. "Friends, that means we can hook up a zip line right into the restaurant!" "Yes!" I say. "The zip line can run over a big pile of garlic knots so we just—poof—drop and land, like a ball pit. We will be... ULTIMATE REGULARS!" I grin at that thought. My friends rush inside to celebrate. I hang back for a moment, just standing. Thinking. Happy to have saved everyone. Even more happy that we did it as a team.