Chapter 14

chapter fourteen None of us say much as we head back to the tree house. It's like there's suddenly more to this world than we ever imagined. More horror. More terror. More danger. More everything. June, in a daze, flips through the radio stations. She seems to have forgotten that there is no more radio. Rough static comes from the speakers. June finally turns the knob to OFF. She rests her head against the window. I miss music It's the only thing anyone says during the ride.

A big monster like Blarg? You can run from that. You can hide from that. If you have to, you can fight that. But something so unknown? Something so foul that it sucks out the brains of the already undead? It fills us with cold, choking fear. As Dirk pulls Big Mama into the backyard, Quint comes shuffling out of the garage, his hair a mess, shirt covered in Mountain Dew stains, like he hasn't slept in days. But he's got a grin like the Cheshire Cat. Before he can dive into whatever it is he's about to dive into, I stop him. We all sit down. I let June do the talking—and she details everything that happened. Everything we saw. The Shrieking, the burp, the raining zombies. Quint slowly shakes his head. "This is not good. However," he continues, "the timing is perfect. Because..."

I have developed a variety of zombie-catching traps using them. We WILL catch a Zombie And we Will be prepared when The shrieking shrieks again. "And that means," Quint says, "it's zombie stakeout time." The idea of a stakeout lifts my spirits some. It helps to push the horrific vision of raining zombies to the back of my mind. See, for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to go on a stakeout. I mean, a real stakeout—what's better than that? Like a cool, grizzled cop. Like buddy cops, from a buddy-cop movie! I can just picture us...

So we pile into Big Mama—Rover curled up in the back, weighing the whole thing down—and go hunting for snacks. You can't do a stakeout without stakeout snacks. That's like Stakeout 101. At the grocery store, once we've filled our giant bags, June has a realization. "Guys, since a lot of the zombies are missing—along with their brains— where do we find one?" "I thought about that," Quint says. "And that's where Rover comes in." Quint kneels down in front of the big fur ball and does his best zombie impression. Rover cocks his head and looks at Quint like he's a bit bonkers.

Then Rover tilts his head toward me. I shrug and do a terrible zombie impression, too. Rover seems to understand, and moments later, he's stampeding through town. We scramble back into Big Mama, I stomp the pedal, and we follow. Rover stops at an alley that cuts between two rows of homes. Dirk steps out of Big Mama and begins examining the ground. He's in this weird, like, Apache tracker mode. He picks up some dirt, sifts through some grass, and then holds up a finger. "Zombie tracks," he declares. I frown. "How can you tell the difference between zombie tracks and regular not-dead-person tracks?" "It's easy..."

"Do the tracks appear fresh?" Quint asks. "Since the last rain," Dirk answers. "Two days, maybe three." I have no idea how he knows this. "Then this is the spot," Quint declares. I reverse Big Mama into an overrun backyard that keeps us hidden from Dozers but still lets us watch the path. Quint sets up his first trap, and with that... Break out the grub. It's classic cinematic stakeout time. Quint grins. "I brought sunflower seeds. Ultimate stakeout food." Turns out, sunflower seeds must be an acquired taste.