Chapter 12

chapter twelve We just pulled off an epic getaway from the monster- dimension police, and it feels like victory—but only for a moment. Not only are Wracksaw and his minions after us, but those enforcers put a bounty on our heads. The entire dimension is hunting us. Although, apparently, that's nothing new for our little pink friend... "Globlet, you are a serious CRIMINAL in this dimension?" I exclaim. Though, honestly, I'm only about 81 percent shocked by this revelation. "I'm not a serious criminal!" she says. "I'm a jokey criminal. I steal from the rich and give to—" "The poor?" I ask, hopefully. "No. I give to the rich, too. It confuses everyone!" "Your rap sheet was pretty extensive," Quint notes, proceeding to recite from memory everything on Globlet's WANTED alert... WANTED! DIABOLICAL CRIMINAL

我们刚刚完成了一场史诗般的逃离怪物维度的警察，这感觉就像胜利——但只是一瞬间。 不单是残锯和他的爪牙在追我们，那些执法者还悬赏要我们的人头。 整个次元都在追杀我们。 不过，显然，这对我们的粉色小朋友来说并不新鲜…… “Globlet，你是这个次元里的严重罪犯？”我惊叫。 不过，说实话，我只有81%的人对这个发现感到震惊。 “我不是一个严重的罪犯！”她说。 “我是个爱开玩笑的罪犯。我从富人那里偷东西，然后给——”“给穷人？”我满怀希望地问。 “没有。我也捐钱给富人。 这让每个人都感到困惑！”“你的犯罪记录相当多，”昆特说，接着背诵了Globlet通缉令上的所有内容…… 想要的!恶魔的犯罪

MASTERMIND Identity Theft of the Nameless One Mowing a Public Lawn Without Prior Authorization Selling Counterfeit Countertops Using a Child's Kite as a Getaway Vehicle Cheating at Monopoly (rezzoch Edition) Refusing to Apologize for Cheating at Monopoly (All Editions) Daring Daylight Robbery in the Realm of Endless Darkness DJing Without a License Scratching and Sniffing Scratch 'N' Sniff Stickers Prior to Purchase Claiming, Without Evidence, to Have Invented the Word Funky Misrepresenting Self as a Small-Town Lawyer with a Hear of Gold Tooting in a Crowded Room Ruining 219 Surprise Parties Planning and Organizing a Complex Jewelry Heist, then Oversleeping on Day of Heist

幕后主使盗用无名氏身份未经授权擅自修剪公共草坪销售假冒台面使用儿童风筝作为逃跑工具大富翁游戏作弊（rezzoch版）拒绝为大富翁游戏作弊（所有版本）大胆在黑暗中大白天抢劫无证dj在购买前刮擦和嗅嗅刮擦‘N’嗅贴纸声称，没有证据，发明了“时髦”这个词，把自己伪装成一个小镇律师，在拥挤的房间里听到金子的声音，破坏了219个惊喜派对，计划和组织了一场复杂的珠宝抢劫，然后在抢劫当天睡过头

As admittedly fascinating as Globlet's criminal history is, we've got to keep our eyes on the prize: Shuggoth and the Hidden City. Globlet reaches for the taxi's GPS—which is actually a brain in a jar—and turns a dial. A map begins to grow, spreading out across the windshield like frost on a cold day. Words flash, and Globlet harrumphs. "Hidden City not found," the map says before it disappears. Before I can react to this latest setback, there's a loud ZAP and Quint shrieks. I spin around. In the back seat, Quint is waving one hand in the air, blowing on it. "All is well!" he says. "Just a minor shock." Something is laid out on his lap, in pieces—he's been tinkering with it. Quint tinkering is nothing new, but my

虽然Globlet的犯罪历史很吸引人，但我们必须把目光放在大奖上：Shuggoth and the Hidden City。 Globlet伸手去拿出租车的gps——实际上是一个装在罐子里的大脑——然后转动了一个刻度盘。 地图开始变大，像寒冷天气里的霜一样在挡风玻璃上展开。 话语闪过，Globlet发出刺耳的声音。 “没有找到隐藏的城市，”地图在消失之前说。 我还没来得及对这最新的挫折做出反应，就听到了一声响亮的ZAP和昆特的尖叫。 我旋转。在后座上，昆特在空中挥舞着一只手，对着它吹气。 “一切都好！”他说。“只是轻微的震动。” 他的腿上放着一件东西，是一块块的——他一直在摆弄它。 古怪的修修补补不是什么新鲜事，但我的

heart sinks when I realize what this is: his conjurer's cannon. Quint's cannon is a powerful tool, which gives him, like, real-deal wizard powers. It lets him wield monster-dimension science—which, to us, looks a whole lot like magic. "What happened?" I ask, eyeing the dismantled weapon. It takes him a long moment to answer. It broke when we came through the ripped hair. "Technically—" Globlet starts to say, but Quint shoots her a look, and she zips her lips. He must be

当我意识到这是什么时，我的心一沉：他的魔术师的大炮。 昆特的大炮是个强大的工具，给了他真正的巫师能力。 它让他可以运用怪物维度的科学——对我们来说，这看起来很像魔法。 “发生什么事了?”我问，眼睛盯着被拆除的武器。 他花了很长时间才回答。 当我们穿过被撕裂的头发时，它断了。 “从技术上讲——”Globlet开始说，但昆特看了她一眼，她闭上了嘴。 他一定是

pretty upset about his busted cannon—or embarrassed. "Hey, it's OK. I dropped the Slicer when that tentacle grabbed me," I say. "We journey into another dimension, we both drop our weapons. Great heroes, huh?" "The cannon will work again," Quint says confidently. I hope he's right. It's clear we're gonna need all the help we can get to make it to the Hidden City. And that's if we can find it. Which—without GPS—is again feeling nearly impossible. It's not as if we can just pull over and ask someone where it is since, y'know, we're wanted criminals. "GOT IT!" Globlet says. Huh? I turn back to find Globlet hanging off the dashboard, gnawing at the GPS brain with her teeth. The brain swirls in the jar, changing colors, and the map spreads across the windshield again. This time, there's a big blinking symbol in the upper-right corner. "There ya go," Globlet says, tapping the glass. "Hidden City." "But—how did—?" "You don't get the name Globlet the Shortcut Shorty without hacking the occasional GPS," Globlet says,

他的大炮坏了，很难过，或者很尴尬。 “嘿，没事的。当那只触手抓住我时，我把切片机掉在地上了，”我说。 “我们进入了另一个维度，我们都放下了武器。 伟大的英雄，是吧？”“大炮会再次起作用的，”昆特自信地说。 我希望他是对的。很明显，我们需要尽可能多的帮助才能到达隐秘之城。 前提是我们能找到它。 如果没有gps，这几乎是不可能的。 我们不可能把车停在路边问别人车在哪里，因为我们是通缉犯。 “明白了!”Globlet说。嗯? 我回头发现Globlet挂在仪表盘上，用牙齿啃着GPS的大脑。 大脑在罐子里打转，改变颜色，地图又在挡风玻璃上散开了。 这一次，在右上角有一个大的闪烁符号。 “这就对了。”环球球说着，敲了敲杯子。 “隐藏的城市。”“但是——吗?”Globlet说：“如果不偶尔入侵GPS，你就不会得到‘快捷键矮子Globlet’这个名字。”

strutting proudly across the dash. "It's not gonna be a cupcake walk, though..." She begins pointing to other symbols on the map, listing the many obstacles we're likely to encounter. "Death pit. Snake pit. Peach pit. Dead Guy Gulch. Desert of Eighty-Seven Sinkholes. The Weird River Crossing. And worst of all is this stretch here," she says. "A full day's journey—with no bathrooms." "So, what are we waiting for?" Quint asks, leaning forward and flashing me an enthusiastic double thumbs- up. OK, then. The path is perilous, but we have a destination. And it feels good. "Just hop on that speed pass up there, and we can get this party started," Globlet says, pointing to a barely visible road beyond a glowing, hairy guardrail. I nudge the bone-shift, and Seabiscuit jerks back, rearing up on two fingers, like a cockroach just skittered past. Globlet groans. "I said hop, Jack. HOP. Y'know, like, jump." My eyeballs roll so hard I can actually feel them scraping against the sockets. "I thought this was the monster dimension, not the super-literal dimension," I mutter, then tug the bone-shift up and shove it forward in one herky-jerky movement.

趾高气扬地走过仪表板。 “不过，这不会是一场小蛋糕散步……” 她开始指着地图上的其他符号，列出我们可能遇到的许多障碍。 “死坑。蛇坑。桃核。 死人盖伊·高奇。八十七个天坑沙漠。 奇怪的渡河。最糟糕的是这里的这段路，”她说。 “整整一天的旅程——没有卫生间。” “那么，我们还在等什么？”昆特问，身子前倾，热情地朝我竖起两个大拇指。 好的,然后。路途艰险，但我们有目的地。 而且感觉很好。“只要跳上那边的高速通道，我们就可以开始狂欢了，”Globlet指着一条几乎看不见的路说，后面是一个发光的、毛茸茸的护栏。 我轻轻推了推骨头，“海饼干”猛地往后一跳，用两根手指竖起来，就像一只刚窜过的蟑螂。 Globlet呻吟。“我说跳，杰克。 跳。你知道，就像，跳。”我的眼球滚动得很厉害，我都能感觉到它们在眼眶上刮擦。 “我以为这是怪物的维度，而不是超字面的维度，”我嘟囔着，然后把骨移向上拉，用力向前推。