14 Something Stinks

CHAPTER FOURTEEN Something Stinks Bacteria (noun). These are one-celled organisms that are also called germs. They exchange chemical signals in order to communicate and attack healthy cells. So next time you use soap, you might be interrupting bacteria having a conversation. "SEA LIONS SURE KNOW how to have fun," I said. "For one, they like to bodysurf." On Thursday, at the dinner table, I was reporting some of my sea lion research to my family. I guess it was a way to practice my presentation, which was just about done. Well, all except for the three super-duper facts I'd find at the aquarium tomorrow. I could hardly wait. "I want to learn to surf," declared Liam. "Me too," said Mom. Dad set down his water glass. "Not for me, thank you. I remember one summer during college my buddy and I took a trip out to California. And we saw sea lions swimming not too far from the surfers." He

scratched his head. "I wonder if I still have those photos somewhere." "I want to see the photos," said Liam. He hopped out of his chair and spread out his arms like he was riding a huge wave. "I'm a surfing seal." "Sea lion," I corrected. "Seals and sea lions are different. Sea lions have ear flaps. Plus, their flippers can rotate under them and they can walk on land. Seals can only sort of slither." "See, Kate, you really are learning quite a bit about sea lions," said Dad. "Arfff!" said Liam. He clapped his flippers together. "Arrf." "Okay, Mr. Sea Lion," said Mom. "It's dinnertime. Come and eat your salmon." She glanced at his empty seat. Liam climbed back into his seat. "Yuck," he said, staring at the pink fillet. "I guess I can't be a sea lion after all. Fish is yucky." "You like salmon, you just forgot," said Mom. "And you love fish sticks." Dad grabbed the ketchup bottle and poured a blob next to his potatoes and on top of his salmon. "This will disguise the fish taste." "Not you too." Mom shook her head. "Just don't want to have fish breath for my panel and talk tomorrow," joked Dad. "Ketchup breath is

better." Both Liam and I giggled as Mom calmly explained how there was no way to have fish breath overnight. Then I remembered how I once watched a Dr. Caroline video on bad breath. When you wake up in the morning, you have billions of bacteria in your mouth. They take in food and excrete waste. The waste—some of it in the form of gas—is what makes your breath stinky. "Just remember to brush your teeth tonight, Dad. Extra long. Good luck at your conference tomorrow," I said. "And have fun on your trip to the aquarium," said Dad. Liam stared down at his food. "I still don't see why I can't come with you." "Because you can't miss school, silly," I said. "But you'll have a chance to go." I looked anxiously up at my parents. "Right?" Dad popped a potato in his mouth. "Definitely. It will be a whole family thing." "This summer," added Mom. "That's a hundred million months away," said Liam. "Six months, kiddo," said Mom. "We'll have to work on your math skills," I added. And then reminded him that there was ice cream for dessert. Liam started to smile a little.

And I knew what would get him to smile even more. After dinner, I counted the money in my atom bank. Yup, I still had my forty dollars. Then I went on the computer to recheck prices at the aquarium gift shop. It looked like I had just enough for a shirt for me and a stuffed animal for Liam. I couldn't wait to surprise him with the gift. But at that very moment, Liam popped into the family room. He peered right over my shoulder. "Hey," he said. "What's that?" And he pointed at a group of stuffed animals on the screen. "They're cephalopods," I explained. "The first one is a squid, which you can tell by its elongated body with eight arms and two tentacles. The one in the middle that looks like an underwater elephant is called a cuttlefish. Ms. Daly, our chemistry club advisor, calls them cuttles. And you already know the last one, the octopus. It looks kind of like a squid, with eight arms, but it doesn't have any tentacles. Plus, the octopus's arms are way more flexible. They all belong to the cephalopod family because they have three hearts and squirt ink to defend themselves against predators."

"That's cool." Liam grabbed the pen next to my notebook and uncapped it. "But the arms and the tentacles look the same." "Yeah, it's hard to tell, but if you look really closely, you can see the difference. Tentacles have suction cups only at the ends of their limbs, whereas arms have suction cups all over," I said, looking over at Liam. "What are you doing?" "Nothing." "Don't even think about squirting it. You're not a cephalopod. Plus," I added, looking around the room, "I don't see any predators." His eyes shifted over to the money from the atom bank and then back to the screen. "Are you buying one of those stuffed animals?" "I might be," I said, giving him a wink. "For someone you know?" "There's a good possibility." "Someone you know super-duper well? So well you might be related?" "That's entirely possible." "And does his name start with an L?" "That just so happens to be one of my favorite letters in the alphabet." "Mine too." Now Liam was jumping up and hugging my legs.

"I just can't tell this person who I know super- duper well and whose name starts with an L because it's a surprise. So don't say anything." "I won't," said Liam. "I promise with eight arms and three hearts. 'Cause I'm an octopus." He waved around his arms like he was underwater. Then he raced away upstairs, singing to himself, "I'm Octopus Boy." And I knew that I couldn't wait to "surprise" my little brother with my gift. Then my eyes slid back to my computer screen. And I checked the weather. And saw a giant snowflake next to the forecast. Which meant only one thing. Snow.