18 Empty-Handed

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN EMPTY-HANDED Molecules (noun). These are microscopic units of a substance. So a water molecule is the smallest piece of matter that is still, well, water. Even though, with our eyes, we might not be able to see the water molecules that have boiled off a pot of water, you can imagine them having an invisible dance party floating around in the air as steam! I STARED AT MY EMPTY WAGON and my empty, scraped-up hands. What a total failure. I wanted to melt into the nearby snowbank. And then I thought about something I had learned in science. Was a glass beaker actually empty? No. It was filled with air. Air was made up of molecules. From a scientific point of view, the beaker was filled to the brim. Just like outer space wasn't really empty either, but filled with stuff like particles and plasma, dust and cosmic rays. I guess from a scientific point of view, I wasn't actually empty-handed. Bending down, I examined my palm and rubbed my chilly fingers. They were bleeding a little bit, and freezing, since I hadn't had time to slip on my gloves.

What was I going to do? I couldn't say, "Hey, Liam. Sorry, I was too late to pick up your special ice cream cake," then cup my hands and say, "But here, have some air instead. There's plenty of molecules in there to keep you busy until your next birthday." No. That definitely wouldn't work. My fingers were freezing from the cold. My head stung from my fall. My throat was dry from running. And, somehow, underneath my winter jacket I was sweating, too. There was no doubt about it. I was going to let Liam down. Again. I felt terrible. Like how a balloon looks if you put it in the freezer after you blow it up. All small and wrinkled and useless. I studied the pavement, trying to figure out the best way to apologize. Suddenly, I heard a honk. When I looked up, I saw Birdie and her mom and sister in their SUV. They eased to a stop in front of me. Birdie rolled down her window from the back of the SUV. "Kate, are you okay?" she asked. "I'm fine," I said, because I didn't want to be a burden. "You're not fine," said Mrs. Bhatt in her usual no- nonsense but warm style. It was probably why she won so many cases as a trial lawyer.

"You're right," I said. "Everything is messed up." I sniffed hard to hold back tears. "I knew it," said Birdie. "I told Mom to stop. We were on the way to the library." "Sure are," said Meela, Birdie's older sister. She held up a heavy stack of fantasy novels. I blinked and stared. "I tried to call you. And you weren't at the rocket launch, so I was worried. On top of everything else." "What else?" asked Birdie softly. "I'm a mess-up." I sniffed and then quickly explained what had just happened. "You're anything but a mess-up," declared Birdie. "You're Kate. You love science, especially chemistry, and you make it fun. You love soccer and penguins. And your family." Suddenly, I didn't feel quite so deflated anymore. I felt more than a little hopeful. At least when it came to Birdie. But not about anything else. I let out a deep sigh. "My family's going to be so disappointed. A galaxy of disappointment, especially Liam." "Um, are you suffering from hypothermia? Because the Kate Crawford I know does not give up." "Maybe you're right," I said.

"Didn't you make astronaut ice cream when you did your report on the Apollo 11 mission for social studies last year?" Wait a minute. I did. "So, you have the equipment," said Birdie. "Oh my gosh. We have the liquid nitrogen. Dad was even using it right outside the garage to make the cloudy atmosphere on Jupiter." "So that means you can make astronaut ice cream for Liam. Remember those delicious little frozen chunks you made in class? He'll love it. I know I did. The ice cream was delicious." "Birdie, you're a genius!" I said. "I know that," said Mrs. Bhatt. "And me too," said Meela, lifting her head out of her book. Then I grabbed the handle of my wagon. "I've got to get home!" "Throw your wagon in the trunk and we'll take you home," said Mrs. Bhatt. "Thank you," I said. "Thank you so much." Soon my eyes met Birdie's as I sat next to her in the back seat. Birdie was quiet again. I lowered my voice. "Is everything okay with Meela?" I gestured toward her sister, whose head was once again buried in a novel. Next to Meela, Mrs. Bhatt bopped to the beat of an oldie rock song as she drove.

"My sister?" Birdie whispered. "What do you mean?" "You had to do something secret with her last week," I reminded her in a whisper. "Is she okay?" "It didn't really have anything to do with my sister," said Birdie, lowering her voice more, even though there was no way her sister could hear us over the music. "It was Tala." "What about her?" "I guess I was sort of jealous," Birdie said. "It started when you let her draw your tattoo instead of me. I felt dumped or something. And then you couldn't even figure out why I was upset. It felt like you didn't even know me anymore." "Oh my gosh, Birdie. No, you're my best friend. Forever and ever. Nobody could replace you. You seemed super busy with your parrot tattoo, and Tala happened to make an atom. And I just thought it was cool." I placed my hand over my heart. "Seriously. You know you're my bestie. And I'm really sorry I didn't figure out why you were upset. I didn't even think you'd be upset about that! I promise next time you can draw my tattoo. You're the best artist I know. But I do like Tala. And I hope all three of us can be friends." I paused. "Or at least I can be friends with both of you at the same time."

"I'm sorry, too," said Birdie. "I just worried that you didn't like me as much anymore." "Not possible." "I know. And, Kate, I think I'd like to get to know Tala, too." "That would be awesome," I said just as we pulled up to my house. "I've got an idea," said Birdie. "And I think you might really like it." "What?" I said. "Tell me." "You'll see," said Birdie. "I can't take any more not knowing stuff." Birdie put her arm around me. "I'm going to go with you to the party. Together, we'll help make the best astronaut ice cream in the entire world."