6 English as a Second Language

Chapter 6 ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE "Coke, wake up!" Pep shouted in her brother's ear. "Huh? What?" Her brother bolted up and shook his head, as if that would erase the bad thoughts from his brain. "I was having a dream," he said, still fuzzy. "A nightmare." "About what?" "We were floating on rafts in a lake," Coke recalled, "and then the bowler dudes tried to run us down with Jet Skis but we were rescued by Mrs. Higgins and then she tried to kill us with chloroform but we were saved by Archie Clone and then he tried to kill us in a

giant car-crushing machine and then Evil Elvis and Doominator showed up. And then Dr. Warsaw. They were all trying to do horrible things to us!" Pep motioned for her brother to look to the left, where the three aliens were staring at them intently. It didn't take a genius to realize that the situation he was currently in was not a whole lot better than his nightmare. Coke flinched. "Flog slab," said the alien across the room. "Stop saying that!" Coke shouted, getting up off the table he had been lying on. "Is that all you know how to say?" "Flog slab," said the alien in the middle. The twins both had slight headaches, but didn't realize it was because their brains had been probed. They glanced quickly around the room. All the screens and unusual equipment made it look like a hospital, or perhaps some kind of a laboratory. "Do you think they performed bizarre

medical experiments on us while we were sleeping?" Pep asked. She examined her arms and legs for cuts, scars, or bruises, but found nothing. "I don't know," Coke replied. "Why don't you ask Moe, Larry, and Curly over there?" "Flog slab," said the alien on the right. "You know what?" Coke said. "I've had enough of you three." "What did you do to us?" Pep begged the aliens. "Why are we here? When will you let us go? We want to go back to our parents." "You're wasting your breath," her brother told her. "They're not going to answer. All they know how to say is flog slab." "Boolay," said the one he'd called Moe. "Boolay wow boolay." Coke and Pep looked at each other, then back at the three aliens. Pep's jaw dropped open. "What did you say?" she asked. "Boolay wow boolay," said Larry, nodding its

head. "Boolay wow boolay," said Curly. "Gurk quizzlibub," said Moe. "Gurk quizzlibub good evening gurk quizzlibub." "They're talking!" Coke exclaimed. "They're using words that sound something like our words. What do they mean?" "I don't know," Pep said, "but I'm going to figure it out." Pep loved word games and she was excellent at solving puzzles of all kinds. To a large extent, her verbal skill was the reason why she and Coke were still alive. If she hadn't been able to figure out all those ciphers along the road, there was no telling what would have happened to them. Pep faced the aliens and slowly asked, "What does boolay mean?" "Boolay wow boolay," said Moe, who appeared to be the "spokesman" for the group. "Boolay wow boolay wow." "Wait a minute. Does boolay mean 'wow'?"

Pep asked. "Boolay wow boolay wow," all three aliens responded, nodding their heads vigorously. "Gurk quizzlibub good evening gurk quizzlibub." "Boolay means 'wow' in their language!" Pep said, jumping up and down. "Boolay!" "Boolay wow boolay," said Curly. "You don't know that for sure," Coke told his sister. "Maybe they're just making random vocalizations, or imitating you. Like a parrot or something." "Boolay boolay boolay," said the aliens. "Gurk quizzlibub good evening gurk quizzlibub," said the one the twins had dubbed Larry. "Do you think gurk quizzlibub means 'good evening'?" Pep asked. "Maybe gurk means 'good' and quizzlibub means 'evening.'" "Don't look at me," Coke said, "I don't speak alien." "Gurk quizzlibub good evening," said Curly.

"Good evening gurk quizzlibub." "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Pep shouted, clapping her hands. "Yerp yes yerp yes yerp yes," said Moe. "And yerp must mean 'yes'!" Pep said. "Can you believe this? We're communicating with them!" "It sounds as if we can say any English word and they'll translate it," Coke said. "Hand," Pep said, holding up her hand for the aliens to see. "Blisky," said the aliens. "Blisky hand. Hand blisky." "Eyes," Pep said, pointing to her eyes. "Klimps," said the aliens. "Klimps eyes. Eyes klimps." "Nose," Pep said, touching her nose. "Snorfle," said the aliens. "Snorfle nose. Nose snorfle." "Spy," said Coke, wanting to get in on the conversation. "Snarg," said the aliens. "Snarg spy. Spy