22 A New Woman

Chapter 22 A NEW WOMAN Of all the people in the world who could have driven down this particular desolate road at this particular moment in time, why did it have to be Mrs. Audrey Higgins? She had set the twins' school on fire—while they were in it. She had chased them through The House on the Rock in Wisconsin. She had unleashed an angry mob of baseball fans on them in Illinois, blasted their eardrums at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Ohio, and poisoned their bowling shoes in Texas. She had changed personalities numerous times, and most recently showed up as a kindly psychic named Aurora Moonbeam in Arizona. And now she was the only thing between the McDonald family and death at Death Valley. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Higgins hollered. "Are

在这个特殊的时刻，世界上有那么多人可以沿着这条荒凉的道路行驶，为什么偏偏是奥黛丽·希金斯夫人呢？ 她在双胞胎的学校里放了一把火。 她在威斯康辛州的“岩石上的房子”里追赶他们。 她曾在伊利诺斯州发动一群愤怒的棒球球迷袭击他们，在俄亥俄州的摇滚名人堂（Rock and Roll Hall of Fame）轰击他们的耳膜，在德克萨斯州给他们的保龄球鞋下毒。 她曾多次改变性格，最近在亚利桑那州以一个名叫极光月光的善良巫师的身份出现。 现在她是麦当劳一家和死亡谷之间的唯一屏障。 “哦，我的上帝！”希金斯太太喊道。 ”

you folks okay?" Coke, Pep, and their father staggered toward the minivan like zombies in a horror movie. They could barely speak. Mrs. McDonald was still sitting on the ground, leaning against the Ferrari. She was too weak to stand. At first, the twins didn't recognize Mrs. Higgins, who was wearing a sunhat and dark glasses, like any sensible person should while traveling through the desert. She grabbed a jug of water from her minivan and started filling plastic cups. Coke, Pep, and Dr. McDonald guzzled gratefully and accepted seconds. "Just let me die here," Mrs. McDonald mumbled, her eyes still closed. "I just want to go to sleep." Mrs. Higgins poured water on Mrs. McDonald's head and forced her to drink. As a health teacher, she had extensive experience in first aid, and knew exactly what to do in situations of dehydration and heat stroke. Once

你们还好吧？”可口可乐、佩普和他们的父亲像恐怖电影里的僵尸一样摇摇晃晃地走向那辆小货车。 他们几乎不能说话。麦克唐纳太太仍然坐在地上，靠着那辆法拉利。 她太虚弱，站不起来。 起初，这对双胞胎没有认出希金斯太太，她戴着一顶遮阳帽和一副墨镜，就像任何一个在沙漠中旅行的明智的人一样。 她从她的小货车里抓起一壶水，开始往塑料杯里倒水。 可口可乐、佩普和麦克唐纳博士感激地喝了一大口，接受了第二杯。 “就让我死在这里吧，”麦克唐纳太太喃喃自语，眼睛仍然闭着。 “我只想睡觉。” 希金斯太太把水倒在麦当劳太太的头上，强迫她喝。 作为一名健康教师，她在急救方面有丰富的经验，并且确切地知道在脱水和中暑的情况下该怎么做。 一次

the water touched her lips, Mrs. McDonald was revived somewhat and drank heartily, like the others. "Let me pay you," said Dr. McDonald, who was regaining his faculties. "I want to give you some money." He fumbled with his wallet, but she pushed it away. "Don't be silly," Mrs. Higgins told him. "You don't recognize me, do you? We met at the Bauxite Museum in Arkansas." "Of course!" said Dr. McDonald. "You're the health teacher from school! It is so nice to see you again. What are you doing in this godforsaken place?" "I'm on my way home, just like you," Mrs. Higgins replied. "I got an email the other day. Construction at the new school is underway and they offered me my old job back." Coke and Pep looked at each other. They were hanging back, not sure if it would be wise to become involved with Mrs. Higgins again.

水触到了她的嘴唇，麦克唐纳太太稍微恢复了精神，像其他人一样尽情地喝了起来。 “我来付钱给你吧。” 麦克唐纳，他正在恢复他的能力。 “我想给你一些钱。” 他摸索着钱包，但她把它推开了。 “别傻了，”希金斯太太对他说。 “你不认识我了，是吗？” 我们是在阿肯色州的铝土矿博物馆认识的。” “当然！”麦克唐纳医生说。 “你是学校的健康老师！”再次见到你真是太好了。 你在这鬼地方干什么？”“我在回家的路上，就像你一样，”希金斯太太回答。 “前几天我收到了一封电子邮件。 新学校的建设正在进行中，他们让我回去工作了。” 可口可乐和佩普面面相觑。 他们犹豫不决，不确定再和希金斯太太扯上关系是否明智。

Her blind love of Dr. Warsaw had caused her to do terrible things. But other times it appeared that she'd changed her ways. You never knew what you were going to get with her. Dr. McDonald helped his wife to her feet and walked her around the area to get her blood pumping again. That left the twins alone with Mrs. Higgins, who handed each of them a protein bar from her purse. Ravenous, they tore off the wrappers and wolfed them down. "Hop in!" she said, "I'll give you folks a lift back home." "Why are you being so nice to us?" Pep asked her. "You tried to kill us over and over again." "I told you, I changed," Mrs. Higgins replied. "I mean it this time. When I finally realized that Dr. Warsaw would never love me, I decided to let go of him. I became a new woman. Even the worst people in the world are capable of changing, you know." "Even Dr. Warsaw?" Pep asked. "Yes," she replied. "But I fear that Herman is

她对华沙医生盲目的爱使她做出了可怕的事情。 但其他时候，她似乎改变了自己的方式。 你永远不知道她会给你带来什么。 麦克唐纳医生扶着妻子站了起来，带着她绕了一圈，让她的血液再次流动起来。 这就只剩下这对双胞胎和希金斯太太在一起，希金斯太太从钱包里掏出一块蛋白质棒递给他们。 他们饥肠辘辘，撕下包装纸狼吞虎咽地吃了下去。 “上车吧！”她说，“我送你们回家。” “你为什么对我们这么好？”佩普问她。 “你一次又一次地想杀了我们。” “我告诉过你，我变了，”希金斯太太回答。 “这次我是认真的。当我终于意识到。 华沙永远不会爱我，我决定放开他。 我变成了一个全新的女人。你知道，即使是世界上最坏的人也能改变。” “即使是华沙医生？”Pep问道。 “是的，”她回答。“但我担心赫尔曼是

only going to change for the worse. He is mentally ill." The twins were still wary about getting into a car with this woman, who had exhibited psychotic behavior herself just days earlier. "Fine," said Mrs. Higgins cheerfully. "You can stay here if you'd like. The sun will be setting soon, and that will cool things off a bit. But then, of course, that's when the coyotes and mountain lions come out." Coke and Pep climbed into the car, taking the third row of seats. Mrs. Higgins helped Dr. McDonald transfer their luggage from the Ferrari into the minivan. As the parents climbed into the second row of seats, Dr. McDonald hesitated. "What about the Ferrari?" he asked. "Forget the Ferrari, Ben!" Mrs. McDonald shouted hoarsely. "We can deal with it later. Let's get out of here." Mrs. Higgins started up the minivan and turned the air-conditioning up full blast. As the

只会变得更糟。 他有精神病。”这对双胞胎仍然对和这个几天前表现出精神病行为的女人上车持谨慎态度。 “很好，”希金斯太太高兴地说。 “如果你愿意，你可以留在这里。 太阳马上就要落山了，天气会凉快一点。 但是，当然，这时土狼和美洲狮就会出来。” 可口可乐和佩普爬上了车，坐到了第三排。 希金斯太太帮助麦克唐纳医生把他们的行李从法拉利车上搬到小货车上。 当家长们爬到第二排座位上时。 麦当劳犹豫了。“那法拉利呢？”他问。 “忘掉法拉利吧，本！”麦克唐纳太太嘶哑地喊道。 “我们可以以后再处理。 我们离开这里吧。”希金斯太太启动了小货车，把空调开到最大。 随着

cool air blew over them, the McDonalds gave a collective sigh of relief. "We can't thank you enough," Mrs. McDonald said. "You saved our lives." "I can't believe you folks came to Death Valley with no water and no food," Mrs. Higgins said. "And it looks like you got a nasty sunburn there, Dr. McDonald. What were you thinking?" "I wasn't," he replied. Go to Google Maps (http://maps.google.com). Click Get Directions. In the A box, type Death Valley CA. In the B box, type San Francisco CA. Click Get Directions.

凉爽的空气从他们身上吹过，麦当劳的人都松了一口气。 “我们怎么感谢你都不为过，”麦克唐纳太太说。 “你救了我们的命。”“我真不敢相信你们来死谷的时候没有水和食物，”希金斯太太说。 “你那儿好像被太阳晒伤了，大夫。 麦当劳。你在想什么？”“我没有，”他回答。 进入谷歌Maps （http://maps.google.com）。 点击“获取路线”。在A框中，输入死亡谷CA。 在B框中，输入San Francisco CA。 点击“获取路线”。