13 Cruelty to Animals

Chapter 13 CRUELTY TO ANIMALS Well, that just goes to show that you can't believe everything you read in a book. Especially this book. You are so gullible! It's time you learned that people who write fiction are a bunch of liars. In fact, lying is their job. If one of them tells you there isn't going to be a snake attack in a story, you can pretty much bet there's going to be a snake attack in that story. Of course there was going to be a snake attack! How could there not be a snake attack? Didn't they teach you about foreshadowing in school? There was no reason to have Coke and Pep see a sign warning them about snakes if there wasn't going to be a snake attack later on.

The canvas sack that John Pain tossed into the pit began to slither toward the twins. "Snakes!" Coke yelled, backing against the dirt wall. "Why did it have to be snakes?" After wriggling around for a few seconds, a brownish head popped out of the sack's opening. The snake seemed to have enlarged scales at the top of its head and a light stripe behind the corner of its mouth. It opened that mouth ridiculously wide and flicked a forked tongue out. Two sharp fangs were visible. Pep gasped. "I'd like you to meet Herman," said John Pain. "He's a Mojave rattlesnake. I named him after my good friend Dr. Herman Warsaw." Herman slithered all the way out of the canvas sack and began to explore the pit. He was about three feet long, with a greenish-brown diamond pattern along his back. Coke and Pep jumped to get out of his way. "Did you know that seven thousand people are bitten by venomous snakes in the United

States each year?" asked John Pain. "Venomous?" asked Coke. He was sweating profusely. "Oh yeah," said John Pain. "The Mojave rattlesnake is the most potently venomous snake in the United States." "Great." Herman slithered to the other end of the pit. The twins jumped over him to get as far away as possible. "Help!" Pep screamed uselessly. "Somebody help!" "Herman's lookin' for food, I reckon," John Payne said, ignoring her. "You might wanna keep still. His vision ain't so hot, but he's really good at perceivin' movement." "You're crazy!" Coke yelled. "Herman also has a keen sense of smell, and a set of heat-sensin' pits in his face that help 'im locate prey," John Pain said casually. "He's got such a big appetite, he only eats once every two weeks."

"When did he eat last?" Pep asked. "'Bout two weeks ago, I reckon." "Help!" Pep screamed again. "Somebody help!" The twins cowered in the corner while Herman explored the other end of the pit. "He's lyin' in wait, y'see," said John Pain. "When he finds somethin' that looks tasty, like you, he'll shake his rattle as a warning, and then pounce. Grab you with them fangs of his. That's how he injects his hemotoxic venom. It'll travel through your bloodstream—" "Shut up!" Coke hollered. "Why do you lunatics always have to explain how you're going to kill people?" "'Cause that's half the fun, son," John Pain said. "After Herman bites ya, you'll feel a tinglin' sensation at first, and you'll start in sweatin'. As the venom destroys yer body tissue, you'll feel weakness and nausea. You may throw up. There'll be swellin', internal bleedin', and intense pain. I love pain. You know what they

say—no pain, no gain." "We gotta get out of here," Coke muttered. "A few minutes after he bites you, you'll have paralysis and heart failure," John Pain said. "By then, of course, you're a goner." Herman turned around. It looked like he was eyeing the twins. "Coke, do something!" Pep yelled. "What do you want me to do?" "I don't know!" Pep shouted. "Didn't you take karate for five years?" "Are you crazy? Karate moves on a snake?" Herman was on the move again, slithering back and forth. "After its prey is dead," John Pain continued, "the Mojave rattlesnake eats the head first. It'll even digest the bones. Amazin' creature, when you think about it." Herman hissed and made a rattle sound with his tail. "He's about to strike!" Pep screamed. "Tell you what," John Pain said. "If you two

can figure a way outta this mess, I'll let you go. How's that for fair?" "Quick!" Pep yelled to her brother. "Do you have anything in your pockets? Maybe we can stab him with something." Coke searched his pockets. The only thing he came up with was the package of freeze-dried ice cream from the Very Large Array Visitor Center. Frantically, he ripped the package open and sprinkled the contents on the ground around Herman. Herman didn't seem interested. "Snakes like to eat livin' things, pardner," John Pain said, amused. "Like birds and mice and lizards. They don't eat freeze-dried ice cream." Herman made the rattling sound again. "I'm going to have to kill it with my bare hands!" Coke said. "That's a knee-slapper!" John Pain said, doubled over laughing. "Kill it?" said Pep. "I'm against cruelty to