9 The Joy of Arkansas

Chapter 9 THE JOY OF ARKANSAS At this point, you might be getting a little bit angry because we're eight chapters into the book and Coke hasn't been shoved into a spinning clothes dryer yet. Don't you hate that? You open a book and the author promises you in Chapter One that one of the characters is going to get shoved into a spinning clothes dryer. Then you read and read and read, and Coke still hasn't been shoved into a spinning clothes dryer. You want to read about some good spinning in a clothes dryer, and you're tired of waiting for it. You feel ripped off. Again, dear reader, I ask for your continued patience. I said that Coke would be shoved into a spinning clothes dryer, and I promise you that before the end of the story, Coke will indeed be

说到这里，你可能会有点生气，因为这本书才写了八章，可乐还没有被塞进旋转的干衣机里。 你不讨厌吗？你打开一本书，作者在第一章向你承诺，其中一个角色将被推进一个旋转的干衣机。 然后你读啊读啊读，可乐仍然没有被塞进旋转的干衣机。 你想读一些关于在干衣机里纺纱的好方法，但你已经厌倦了等待。 你觉得被敲竹杠了。亲爱的读者，我再次请求你继续保持耐心。 我说过，可口可乐会被塞进旋转的干衣机，我向你保证，在故事结束之前，可口可乐真的会被塞进旋转的干衣机

shoved into a spinning clothes dryer. In fact, this book comes with a money-back guarantee. If, by the final chapter, Coke still hasn't been shoved into a spinning clothes dryer, you will receive a full refund. No questions asked. For now, let's get back to the story. In the car after leaving the Quapaw spa, Coke and Pep did their best to put the strange confrontation with Dr. Warsaw out of their minds. It seemed as though the guy had finally lost his marbles, and thankfully was in no condition to do anyone harm. But with crazy people, you always have to stay on your guard. There was something about being in the car that made the twins feel safer. The RV had felt like a rolling prison. But the little Ferrari was almost like a steel cocoon that would protect them from harm. They felt private and free. After some debate about whether or not they should visit the Arkansas Alligator Farm in Hot Springs (Coke was the only one who really

被塞进旋转的干衣机。 事实上，这本书有退款保证。 如果到最后一章，可乐还没有被塞进旋转的干衣机，你将获得全额退款。 不要问任何问题。现在，让我们回到故事。 在离开夸保水疗中心后的车里，可口可乐和佩普尽了最大的努力来平息与佩普博士的奇怪对峙。 华沙人的思想。 这家伙似乎终于失去了理智，谢天谢地，他没有伤害任何人的能力。 但面对疯子，你必须时刻保持警惕。 坐在车里的感觉让双胞胎觉得更安全。 房车感觉就像一座滚动的监狱。 但那辆小法拉利几乎就像一个钢茧，可以保护他们免受伤害。 他们感到私密和自由。 经过一番争论，他们是否应该参观位于温泉的阿肯色鳄鱼农场（可口可乐是唯一一个真正想去的人）

wanted to go), the McDonalds decided to "blow this pop stand" instead. His mind and body refreshed, his pores fully opened, Dr. McDonald was so relaxed that he decided to turn off the GPS. He put the car in drive, and just drove. The compass said they were heading WEST, and that was good enough for him. Soon the family found themselves on Albert Pike Road, also known as U.S. Route 270. There are more than 53,000 square miles in Arkansas, and there are a lot of interesting places worth seeing. Inside the Ferrari, a great debate commenced to determine which sites were worth stopping at, and which ones should be bypassed. Dr. McDonald cast his vote for a side trip to Bentonville, where Sam Walton opened up the first Walmart in 1962. "There's a museum there now," Mrs. McDonald said, reading from her guidebook.

想走)，麦当劳决定“炸掉这个汽水摊”。 他的精神和身体都焕然一新，毛孔完全张开。 麦克唐纳非常放松，他决定关掉GPS。 他把车开到驱动档，然后就开了。 指南针指示他们向西航行，这对他来说已经足够好了。 很快，这家人发现自己来到了阿尔伯特派克路，也被称为美国 270号公路。阿肯色州面积超过53,000平方英里，有许多有趣的地方值得一看。 在法拉利内部，一场激烈的辩论开始了，决定哪些地方值得停，哪些地方应该绕过。 麦克唐纳博士投票赞成去本顿维尔，1962年山姆•沃尔顿在这里开了第一家沃尔玛。 “现在那儿有个博物馆，”麦克唐纳太太一边读着她的旅游指南一边说。

"Gee, what a shock," Coke said with his usual eye roll. He voted to visit the town of Eureka Springs, where the Museum of Fake Frogs is located. According to the guidebook, the old man who runs it has been accumulating frog collectibles for fifty years, and now he's up to six thousand frog-themed items. Coke insisted that anything to do with frogs was cool, but if he couldn't go there, he would instead be willing to see (and use) one of the world's only double-decker outhouses, which is

“哎呀，真是太震惊了，”科克说着，像往常一样翻了个白眼。 他投票决定参观尤里卡泉镇，那里有假青蛙博物馆。 根据旅游指南，经营这家店的老人已经收集了五十年的青蛙收藏品，现在他有六千多件以青蛙为主题的物品。 可口可乐坚持认为，任何与青蛙有关的东西都很酷，但如果他不能去那里，他愿意去看看（并使用）世界上唯一的双层户外厕所之一

in Dover, Arkansas. Don't believe me? Go ahead and look it up. That's why they invented Google. Pep was always fascinated by morbid curiosities such as the Donner Party, settlers who resorted to cannibalism to survive the winter of 1846 in the Sierra Nevada. So when she heard about the Boggy Creek Monster in Fouke, Arkansas, she was intrigued. The monster, sort of a southern version of Bigfoot, is supposed to be seven feet tall and hairy all over. It has been known to kill and eat chickens, cattle, dogs, and livestock, if not small children. It was highly unlikely that they would actually catch a glimpse of the Boggy Creek Monster, so Pep said her second choice was to visit Crater of Diamonds State Park, in Murfreesboro, Arkansas. It's the only diamond- producing site in the world that's open to the public. In fact, in 2007, a thirteen-year-old girl found a 2.9-carat diamond there.

在阿肯色的多佛。不相信我？ 去查一下吧。这就是为什么他们发明b谷歌。 佩普总是被病态的好奇心所吸引，比如唐纳党，1846年冬天在内华达山脉靠吃人为生的定居者。 所以当她听说阿肯色州福克的沼泽溪怪物时，她很感兴趣。 这个怪物，有点像南方版的大脚怪，据说有七英尺高，浑身是毛。 众所周知，它会杀死并吃掉鸡、牛、狗和牲畜，如果不是小孩的话。 他们几乎不可能真的看到沼泽溪怪物，所以佩普说她的第二选择是参观位于阿肯色州默弗里斯伯勒的钻石坑州立公园。 它是世界上唯一向公众开放的钻石产地。 事实上，2007年，一个13岁的女孩在那里发现了一颗2.9克拉的钻石。

Mrs. McDonald, as always, was on the lookout for new material she could use in Amazing but True. But it was difficult to choose from the wealth of oddball tourist attractions in Arkansas. "Maybe we should go to Alma," she suggested. "It's the Spinach Capital of the World." "No more capitals!" "We could go to Stuttgart and see the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest," said Mrs. McDonald. There was just too much to see in Arkansas. Obviously, they couldn't do it all. There are only twenty-four hours in a day, as they say, and you've got to sleep sometime. The discussion continued as the McDonalds drove past Lake Hamilton and through the little towns of Royal, Joplin, and Hurricane Grove. The Caddo Mountains were in the distance now, and soon they were deep within Ouachita National Forest and Queen Wilhelmina State

麦克唐纳夫人一如既往地在寻找新的素材，她可以用在《惊人但真实》中。 但要从阿肯色州丰富的奇奇怪怪的旅游景点中做出选择却很困难。 “也许我们应该去阿尔玛，”她建议道。 “它是世界菠菜之都。” “不用大写了！”“我们可以去斯图加特看世界冠军叫鸭比赛，”麦克唐纳太太说。 阿肯色州有太多可看的东西了。 显然，他们不可能做到这一切。 俗话说，一天只有二十四小时，你总得睡一会儿。 当麦当劳一家开车经过汉密尔顿湖，穿过罗亚尔、乔普林和飓风格罗夫等小镇时，讨论还在继续。 卡多山脉现在在远处，很快他们就深入到瓦希托国家森林和威廉敏娜女王州