7 Return of an Old Friend

Chapter 7 RETURN OF AN OLD FRIEND Their tummies filled, the McDonald family was on the road again. In fact, Dr. McDonald began to sing, much to everyone's dismay, Willie Nelson's signature song "On the Road Again." As a singer, Dr. McDonald made a good history professor. The twins stared out the window as Arkansas rolled by. They were both thinking the same thing—what if Bones and Mya were wrong? What if the coast wasn't clear? What if Mrs. Higgins or those pesky bowler dudes were waiting for them at their next stop, ready to leap out and do some horribly unspeakable thing? Or what if there was a new threat out there waiting to attack them? Coke made a mental note to never let down

his guard. On the first half of their journey, most of the highway signs had an E, for east, after the route number. Now the highway signs ended in a W. The McDonalds were on their way home. "Hot Springs, here we come!" Dr. McDonald bellowed as he merged onto I-30 West out of Little Rock. Mrs. McDonald opened her Arkansas guidebook and casually leafed through it. They had only traveled about fourteen miles when they approached exit 123— Bryant/Bauxite. "Ben, stop the car!" Mrs. McDonald shouted suddenly. He swerved off to the shoulder of the road and slammed on the brakes, nearly causing an accident and frightening the other drivers. The Ferrari screeched to a halt. Books, maps, papers, pens, and anything else that wasn't held down went flying into the front seat. Had they not been wearing seat belts, the whole family would have gone through the windshield.

"What's wrong?" Dr. McDonald asked, his heart racing. "Did I hit something?" "This is the exit for Bauxite, Arkansas!" Mrs. McDonald said excitedly. "So?" replied the rest of the family. "The town is named after bauxite!" A moment of silence. "What's bauxite?" asked Pep. "It's an off-white, grayish, brown, yellow, or reddish-brown rock," Coke informed her. "They make aluminum out of it." He remembered that from a game of Trivial Pursuit he had played years ago. "Thank you, Mr. Wikipedia," Pep said, rolling her eyes. "Don't tell me, let me guess," Dr. McDonald said. "There's a museum here—" "Yes!" Mrs. McDonald said gleefully. "Bauxite, Arkansas, calls itself the Aluminum Capital of the World! This will be great for Amazing but True. And the town is just a few miles from here!"

A collective groan could be heard from inside the Ferrari. "You know, Mom," Pep said, choosing her words carefully, "there's no rule that says we have to go to every capital of the world." "That's right, Mom," Coke pointed out. "Maybe we ought to skip this one. It doesn't sound that interesting." Dr. McDonald kept his mouth shut. He'd decided to let the kids take the heat this time. Mrs. McDonald turned to face the backseat. Never a good sign. "Sixty years from now, you're going to be old," she told the kids. "You're going to think back on all the things you did during your life. You'll have some regrets. We all do. And if we don't visit Bauxite, Arkansas, right now, you're going to regret that you were just a few lousy miles from the Aluminum Capital of the World and couldn't be bothered to check it out. How will you feel?" In their heads, Coke and Pep came up with

several snarky comments, along the lines of "We'll feel great!" In reality, they didn't say a word. There was no use arguing with Bridget McDonald. There was no use complaining. They would be going to Bauxite, Arkansas—the Aluminum Capital of the World. Dr. McDonald grudgingly pulled off at the exit. "I hope this place is more interesting than the Duct Tape Capital of the World," Coke whispered to his sister in the backseat. Perhaps you recall, dear reader, that a similar situation occurred in The Genius Files: Never Say Genius. On their way to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the McDonalds stumbled upon the town of Avon, Ohio, where there is an annual duct tape parade, with duct tape sculptures, a duct tape fashion show, and a dancing mascot called Duct Tape Duck. Bauxite looked pretty much like any other small town in America. A sign said the population of the town was 432.

"They should call this place Snoozeville, USA," Coke grumbled as he looked out the window. "The Aluminum Capital of the World?" Pep asked. "It's not like the houses here are made out of aluminum or anything." Dr. McDonald drove past the local post office and turned south on School Street. After a few blocks, he double-parked in front of the Bauxite Museum—a colonial-style building with five columns in the front. "You kids run inside and get tickets," said Mrs. McDonald. "We'll find a parking spot."